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Unger the Influence

TSA Will No Longer Require Mennonites to Remove Socks and Sandals

July 10, 2025

WASHINGTON, DC It’s the boldest change to airport security requirements in more than twenty years–starting this weekend, Mennonites will no longer be required to remove their socks and sandals when passing through airport security. “That […]

Unger the Influence

Epstein Files Discovered at Local Thrift Store

July 9, 2025

HARRISONBURG, VA In a shocking turn of events in the seeming never-ending Epstein saga, the complete uncensored Epstein files were found in the “Something Special” display case at a local second hand shop. “They wanted […]

Unger Conviction

  • Deceased Members of “One True Church” Find Heaven Super Lonely
    November 27, 2020
  • Bible School Expands ‘Six Inch Rule’ to ‘Six Foot Rule’
    March 15, 2020
  • Church AGM Scheduled to Coincide with Most Important Game of the Season
    February 23, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Winnipeg Police Seize Mennonite Woman’s Basket of Chanterelles
    May 21, 2023
  • Raisin Buns at Church Lunch Seen as ‘Really Bad Omen’
    April 6, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Meets His Buddies at the Pub for a Few Pints
    August 17, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Area Man Can’t Figure Out Whether All the People Who Voted Differently than Him are Evil or Stupid
    April 29, 2025
  • Area Man Single-handedly Turns Tide of Election By Posting Meme
    April 28, 2025
  • Left-leaning Voters Proudly Unite Around Right Wing Candidate
    April 22, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • Pick-Up-and-Walk Crew Followed Closely By Toss-Your-Cigarette-Butts-Out-the-Window Crew
    May 7, 2023
  • Mennonite Grandpa Now Charging $8 for Five Minute Piggyback Ride
    February 9, 2020
  • Local Man Sells ‘Amazing Miracle Elixir’ that Cures Gullibility
    July 12, 2021
  • Committee Already Planning “Anabaptism 1000” Celebrations
    June 3, 2025

Trending

  • Mennonite Woman Has Already Planted 25% of a Simon and Garfunkel Song
    July 3, 2025
  • Dill Harvest Early this Year
    July 2, 2025
  • Goat Wins Top Prize in Annual Cuteness Awards
    July 1, 2025
  • Stanley Cup Playoffs to be Extended Well into July Next Year
    June 30, 2025

Unger Suspicion

  • Justin Trudeau Makes Official Visit to Mennonite Church Wearing Rubber Boots and Suspenders
    March 6, 2018
  • Winnipeg Protestors Fight Amongst Themselves Over How to Split the Fine
    April 26, 2021
  • Pat Sajak to be Replaced with Mennonite Man who Only Knows Plautdietsch
    June 12, 2024
  • Oil Company to Reroute Pipeline Through World’s Most Famous Cemeteries
    September 7, 2016
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Mennonite Woman “Wins the Lottery” After Neighbour’s Clothes Blow into Her Yard

July 8, 2025

North Kildonan Residents Unimpressed with New Winnipeg Transit Network

July 7, 2025

Mennonites Unveil New Mascot

July 6, 2025

Steinbachers Line Up on Main Street to Watch Drag Show

July 5, 2025

Mennonite Man Finally Upgrades His Massey Harris

July 4, 2025

Unger Games

  • Stanley Cup Playoffs to be Extended Well into July Next Year
    June 30, 2025
  • Portage and Main Pedestrians Fuel Rumours Jets Won the Cup
    June 28, 2025
  • Steinbacher Shocked at Lack of Honda Civics in New F1 Movie
    June 25, 2025
  • Vanapag Jats Jerseys Flying Off the Shelves
    June 21, 2025
  • Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly
    June 20, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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