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Unger Games

Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly

June 20, 2025

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets scored a major coup this week after signing hometown hero and NHL legend Jonathan Toews, who, according to rumours, signed with the team exclusively because “they’re the only ones who […]

Unger Suspicion

School Accidentally Plays Sex Pistols Song Before Morning Announcements

June 19, 2025

DOLPHIN, MB After months of controversy and debate, Dolphin School Trustee Pete Caflib has finally convinced his local school division to bring back the Royal Anthem. “Yeah, so I picked up a bunch of 45s […]

Unger Conviction

  • Magnus Carlsen Booted Out of Church for Wearing Jeans
    December 30, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Earns Place in Heaven after Attending Evening Service
    February 25, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Overturns Hoe v. Spade
    May 4, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Funeral Cancelled After Bridge Fire Cuts Off Cheese Curd Supply
    May 11, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Introduces New ‘Dunkel’ Schmaunt Fat
    September 27, 2023
  • Heroic Mennonite Woman Stops Her Husband from Eating the Soap
    July 20, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Excluded from Debate, Green Party Told to Fight Amongst Themselves Like Mennonites
    April 19, 2025
  • Canadians Excited to Vote in Upcoming False Dichotomy
    April 18, 2025
  • Doug Ford Accidentally Shuts Off Power to the Amish
    April 16, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • Grandma Penner’s VCR: Rewinding ‘Dr. Zhivago’ Since 1988
    January 6, 2017
  • Mennonite Men Return from European Vacation with a Few New Habits
    September 2, 2022
  • Corny vs. Menno? Which name do you hear?
    May 19, 2018
  • Kornelsen School Reunion Sparks Old Flames
    March 30, 2017

Trending

  • Area Man Supports “Biblical Marriage” By Obtaining 700 Wives and 300 Concubines
    June 11, 2025
  • Musk Steals Church Split Idea from Mennonites
    June 10, 2025
  • Top 10 Menno Lit Satire Articles
    June 9, 2025
  • Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains
    June 8, 2025

Unger Suspicion

  • Fred Penner’s Cat Fails to Return
    March 24, 2017
  • “Greta’s Been Coached,” Says Politician Who Doesn’t Even Write His Own Speeches
    September 28, 2019
  • Djokovic Teams Up With Oma Krahn for Mixed Doubles Tournament
    January 18, 2022
  • Winnipeg Man Hospitalized After Dangerous Fall from Jets’ Bandwagon
    January 20, 2023
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Chatty Mennonite Woman Holds Elevator Door for a Record 5 Hours

June 17, 2025

City Turns Every Available Flat Surface into Pickleball Courts

June 16, 2025

G7 Summit to Feature Crokinole Tournament

June 14, 2025

Forklift Enlisted to Transport New Mennonite Book

June 13, 2025

Mennonites Gather in Winnipeg to Decide which Writer to Excommunicate Next

June 12, 2025

Unger Games

  • Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly
    June 20, 2025
  • City Turns Every Available Flat Surface into Pickleball Courts
    June 16, 2025
  • Mennonites Gather in Zurich for Anabaptist 500
    May 28, 2025
  • Jets Fan Relieved He Finally Has His Evenings Free to Get Some Yardwork Done
    May 14, 2025
  • Baseball Commissioner Reinstates Shoeless Joe Just to Ruin ‘Field of Dreams’ for Everybody
    May 13, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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