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Unger the Influence

Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List

October 29, 2025

EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Danielle Smith held a massive bonfire outside the provincial legislative building this week to destroy any remaining copies of the Constitution of Canada. “Had my goons find every copy they could,” […]

Unger Conviction

In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday

October 28, 2025

LEAMINGTON, ON Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays are […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Church Becomes 7-Eleven Franchise So it Can Reopen as an Essential Service
    December 9, 2020
  • Mennonites Collect Hundreds of Empty Shoe Boxes to Send Overseas
    October 23, 2016
  • Mennonite Pastor Takes Up Vegas Residency
    February 28, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Abbotsford Family Subsists All Summer on Blackberries Picked By the Side of the Road
    July 28, 2023
  • Shuttered Winnipeg 7/11s to be Turned into Tim Hortons
    October 22, 2024
  • Altona Votes to Adopt Knackzoat as Legal Tender
    June 10, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Doug Ford Dumps Out Entire Crown Royal Bag Full of Scrabble Tiles
    September 3, 2025
  • Pierre Poilievre Scambling to Learn Plautdietsch to Serve His New Riding
    August 22, 2025
  • Pierre Poilievre Spotted Parachuting into Tofield, Alberta
    August 19, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites Scramble to Book the Common Room at Oma’s Manor for Upcoming Christmas Gatherings
    September 19, 2022
  • Unger Becomes First Mennonite Ever to Return Home to Manitoba After Trip to Abbotsford
    April 4, 2022
  • Local Chiropractor Specializes in Treating Mennonite Rubbernecking Injuries
    January 26, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Shunned After Returning from Zurich with Swiss Army Knife
    May 31, 2025

Trending

  • Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist
    October 20, 2025
  • Mennonites Gather for Nationwide ‘No Krahns’ Protests
    October 19, 2025
  • Andrew Unger Sues Time Magazine for Extremely Unflattering Cover Photo
    October 17, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Mistakes Huge Miriam Toews Crowd for Billy Graham Crusade
    October 16, 2025

Unger Suspicion

  • Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau Caught on Jumbotron at Coldplay Concert
    July 29, 2025
  • Hundreds of Amish Pay Tribute to Glen Campbell by Parading Around Town in Rhinestone Suits
    August 9, 2017
  • Woman Waits 2 Weeks for Service at Local Hardware Store
    January 9, 2025
  • Joel Osteen Releases New ‘Red Letter Edition’ of His Latest Book
    February 24, 2020
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Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg

October 27, 2025

Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations

October 25, 2025

White House Ends Trade Talks with Canada Over Alex P. Keaton Commercial

October 24, 2025

Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack

October 23, 2025

Toronto Sees Massive Surge in Knackzoat Sales

October 21, 2025

Unger Games

  • Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations
    October 25, 2025
  • Toronto Sees Massive Surge in Knackzoat Sales
    October 21, 2025
  • Mennonite Pastor Signs Two-Year $25 Thousand Extension with Local Church
    October 11, 2025
  • White House to Annex Toronto Blue Jays
    October 7, 2025
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC
    October 6, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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