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Unger Games

Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites

June 30, 2026

BOSTON, MA Soccer experts are attributing Paraguay’s shocking victory over Germany last night to the prayers of 100,000 Mennonites in the Chaco. “I can’t think of any other way this could have happened,” said soccer […]

Unger & Thirst

Taco Bell Unveils New Logo

June 29, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The long anticipated Taco Bell location in Steinbach is finally open, albeit with a brand new logo that some locals are having difficulty deciphering. “I’ll have a Doritos Locos Taco and a Cheesy […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs
    June 24, 2026
  • Pastor’s Wife Offers Makeup Lessons
    November 19, 2017
  • Local Couple Finds Themselves Completely Alone in Church on May Long Weekend
    May 19, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Grandma’s Vintage CorningWare Worth Millions and Millions of Dollars
    January 4, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Guesses Wordle in First Try
    January 19, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Banished From Town After Choosing the Sweet Pickles
    August 1, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mannanites Axcited for New Fast & Furious Movie: Main Street Steinbach Edition!
    August 8, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Still Using the Toilet Paper She Bought Last Year
    March 17, 2021
  • Assiniboine Zoo Now Has Higher Vaccination Rate than Southern Manitoba
    March 11, 2022
  • Mennonite Couple Finally Consummates Marriage on Fifth Wedding Anniversary
    May 12, 2017

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs
    June 24, 2026
  • Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk
    June 23, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff
    June 21, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Manitoba Man Catches a Walleye, Calls it a Pickerel for Some Reason
    May 20, 2019
  • Ottawa Senators Attendance Way Up this Year
    April 12, 2021
  • Local Man’s Biggest Fear is Showing His Fear
    November 6, 2020
  • Bieber Debuts Terrible New Single “Yummy” at the Most Appropriate Venue – His Local Hillsong Church
    March 7, 2020
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Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki

June 28, 2026

Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round

June 27, 2026

Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning

June 27, 2026

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026

300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank

June 25, 2026

Unger Games

  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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