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Unger Games

Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI

August 16, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Just hours after hitting the championship-winning three-pointer for the Winnipeg Sea Bears this weekend, a massive 50 foot fall bronze statue of Simon Hildebrandt appeared outside his alma matter, Mennonite Brethren Collegiate Institute. […]

Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Mennonites are barely surviving this summer after a shortage of cottage cheese has left them without the necessary sustenance for life. “My Henry’s a fighter, but I’m just not sure how […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church to Hold Weeklong Series of Meetings to Decide Matters that Easily Could Have Been Settled in a Couple Emails
    May 2, 2022
  • Mennonite Hymn Reaches #1 After Inclusion on ‘Stranger Things’
    April 10, 2024
  • Mennonite Pastors Release New ‘Tracing App’ that Tracks How Much Time You’ve Spent Reading the Bible
    May 30, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Evening at Applebee’s
    October 6, 2021
  • Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby
    October 10, 2023
  • Green Party Photoshops Yerba Mate into Elizabeth May’s Hand
    October 7, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mr. Toews Realizes He’s Been Saying His Own Name Wrong This Whole Time
    May 18, 2022
  • Local Trajchtmoakas Demand the Right to be Called “Doctors”
    November 25, 2020
  • New Facebook Algorithm Only Shows Posts from Your 26 Closest Frintschoft
    June 5, 2021
  • People Keep Assuming Kansas Friesens are Secretly Canadian
    February 10, 2020

Trending

  • Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies
    August 8, 2026
  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Pop Star Releases New ‘Voices Together (Taylor’s Version)’
    November 14, 2021
  • Edmonton Area Pastor Sworn in as New Alberta Health Minister
    April 13, 2021
  • British Columbian Freezes to Death Within Minutes of Arriving in Winnipeg
    January 11, 2018
  • Long Lost C.S. Lewis Book Discovered: The Loewen, the Witch and the Wardrobe
    July 21, 2019
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World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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