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Unger Games

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026

TORONTO, ON It seems all the embarrassing defeats by Team Canada at the Olympics this year will not go to waste as Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a plan to use all the unwanted […]

Unger Games

Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026

MILAN, ITALY Just minutes after Team USA goaltender Connor Hellebuyck single-handedly won an Olympic gold for his team, he sent a message to reassure Winnipeg Jets fans he won’t ever play that well again. “Certainly […]

Unger Conviction

  • Bible School Offering Money Back Guarantee if Not Engaged By the End of First Semester
    September 4, 2018
  • The Daily Bonnet Asks: Can You Be Both Christian and Rich?
    June 11, 2022
  • United Church Totally Rips Off Mennonite Hymnal
    June 19, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving
    October 12, 2025
  • Mennonites Compete to See Who Can Cook the Blandest Least Spicy Chili
    July 22, 2018
  • Mennonite Families Sign-Up to Bring Salads, Buns, and Measles to Upcoming Potluck
    November 17, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026
  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • ‘Mennonite Pickers’ Find Treasure Trove at Local Dump
    February 24, 2017
  • ‘Birthers’ Demand Baptism Certificate from Daily Bonnet Founder
    July 24, 2019
  • Local Soccer Mom Undergoes Surgery to Become Hockey Mom
    November 12, 2016
  • The Daily Bonnet Announces the Worst Contest Ever!
    September 27, 2016

Trending

  • I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found
    February 16, 2026
  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026
  • Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island
    February 14, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu
    February 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Quebec Bans Mennonite Kerchiefs
    October 19, 2017
  • Ex-Blumenort Menno Knights Head Coach Signs with Winnipeg Jets
    May 20, 2022
  • Queen Victoria to Tour Southeast Manitoba on Monday
    May 21, 2016
  • “Isn’t there a hockey game on or something?”
    November 3, 2020
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Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2026

Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey

February 21, 2026

James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review

February 19, 2026

Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone

February 18, 2026

Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning

February 17, 2026

Unger Games

  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026
  • Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey
    February 21, 2026
  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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