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Unger Conviction

General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren

August 17, 2026

GOSHEN, IN Just as US President Donald Trump seems hellbent on starting trade wars (and real wars) around the globe, the Mennonite Brethren and Mennonite Church have inked a brand new free trade deal that […]

Unger Games

Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI

August 16, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Just hours after hitting the championship-winning three-pointer for the Winnipeg Sea Bears this weekend, a massive 50 foot fall bronze statue of Simon Hildebrandt appeared outside his alma matter, Mennonite Brethren Collegiate Institute. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Hundreds of Mennonites Show Up at Church on Onewheels
    August 15, 2020
  • Mennonite Pastor Super Excited as His Live-Streamed Sermon Gets Three Whole Views
    March 22, 2020
  • Daring Mennonite Couple Decide to Share a Bulletin this Sunday
    November 6, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Cuisine to be Featured on New Manitoba Health Card
    October 7, 2024
  • City Man Invites Two Mennonites On Fishing Trip So He Can Drink All the Beer Himself
    August 3, 2020
  • Steinbach Finally Legalizes Sundae Shopping
    August 19, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites are Turning their Old Laine Jerseys into Quilts
    January 24, 2021
  • Silly Local Man Finally Removes His Christmas Lights
    March 13, 2017
  • 5 Things Mennonites Can Watch Instead of the Super Bowl
    February 4, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Disproves Evolution by Carbon Dating “Welcome to Morden Sign”
    August 7, 2023

Trending

  • Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line
    August 9, 2026
  • Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies
    August 8, 2026
  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • New Improved Horse Gets Up to 60 Miles Per Carrot
    September 7, 2018
  • Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company
    May 8, 2019
  • Flat-Earther Cites Saskatchewan as Evidence
    July 8, 2020
  • Local Reeve to be Vaccinated Against Wacko Conspiracy Theories
    December 11, 2020
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Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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