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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows

March 25, 2026

INWOOD, MB Area man Steve Driedger was under the mistaken impression that something called “Net Flix” would include a lot of fishing shows. “But alas, poor Yorick, there was nuscht,” said Driedger. “All it is […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says

March 24, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB There will be a major reduction on cost-of-living in Manitoba this week after Premier Wab Kinew announced they would no longer be charging PST on honey dill sauce. “On all groceries, actually,” said […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Accidentally Performs First Ever Infant Baptism
    September 20, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Brings Pet Alligator to Church
    October 13, 2023
  • Church Cell Group Consists Mostly of Endoplasmic Reticulum
    January 8, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • How to Measure Your BMI (Body Mennonite Index)
    July 29, 2018
  • Zwieback Added to Periodic Table of Elements
    November 4, 2018
  • Mennonite Child Found Four Days Later Still Searching for Easter Egg
    April 20, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • ‘Winkler Humility’ March Offers Stark Contrast to ‘Morden Pride’
    June 24, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Has ‘Unfair Head Start’ on Movember Beard
    November 2, 2016
  • 10 Mennonite Memes You May Have Missed
    February 10, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Makes it Big on Broadway … Winnipeg
    August 19, 2024

Trending

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight
    March 16, 2026
  • Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year
    March 14, 2026
  • Subway Opens in La Broquerie
    March 12, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    March 27, 2022
  • Michael Phelps Spotted at Local Gravel Pits
    September 1, 2016
  • Crazy Unpatriotic Canadian Celebrates 4th of July Three Days Early
    July 1, 2019
  • Empty Arenas Give Canadian Fans an ‘Authentic Florida Hockey Experience’
    January 18, 2021
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‘KPop Dueck Hunters’ Number One Movie on Mennonite Netflix

March 23, 2026

Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight

March 21, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque

March 20, 2026

Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

March 19, 2026

Local Gas Station to Offer Free Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase

March 18, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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