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Unger Games

Winnipeg Restaurant Bans Connor Hellebuyck and All Other Children Under 15

November 12, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB A popular new restaurant in Winnipeg drew international attention this week after barring all children under 15, including former Jets goalie Connor Hellebuyck. “We’re banning children or anyone who acts like a child,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB After apparently being absolutely petrified of playing in Winnipeg tonight, New Jersey Devils goalie Connor Hellebyuck will instead be eating a Jets Dog from the stands while little Timmy Wiebe of the Rosenort […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Vows Never Again to Ask English Prof to Read the Children’s Story
    October 26, 2022
  • Church with 250 Members Splits into 250 Churches
    January 2, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Brings Pet Alligator to Church
    October 13, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Pitcher Throws No-Hitter While High on Yerba Mate
    May 27, 2021
  • Wine Ninjas Accidentally Deliver to Mennonite Woman
    May 18, 2020
  • Mennonite Couple Can’t Figure Out Whether to Go to Winkler or Morden Chicken Chef
    May 17, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Father Tortures Family By Taking a Ride to the Country to Look at the Crops
    August 16, 2021
  • Mennonite Town Installs Massive New Rug Under which to Sweep All Their Problems
    May 6, 2023
  • Shutdown of Pipeline Affects Delivery of Schmaunt Fat Between Gretna and Winnipeg
    May 28, 2024
  • Local Man Forgets to Remove Nikes Before Burning Them
    September 10, 2018

Trending

  • Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change
    November 3, 2026
  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026
  • Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese
    October 31, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Man Washes Hands to the Entire ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ Album
    March 20, 2020
  • Amana Releases New ‘Throwback’ Dishwasher
    September 12, 2023
  • Study Suggest Satire is 20% Funnier When Drunk
    January 16, 2019
  • Pat Sajak to be Replaced with Mennonite Man who Only Knows Plautdietsch
    June 12, 2024
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Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate

November 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Restaurant Bans Connor Hellebuyck and All Other Children Under 15
    November 12, 2026
  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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