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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show

February 8, 2026

FRESNO, CA For those looking for an alternative halftime show to either Bad Bunny or Kid Rock, the Fresno Central Mennonite Church is inviting guests to listen to their choir this afternoon. “We felt that […]

Unger Games

Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses

February 6, 2026

MILAN, ITALY The Canadian Olympic committee just announced that the entire team, in every sport, would be made up of Friesens and Froeses. “What can I say?” said bobsledder Peter Froese. “With a name like […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Accidentally Performs First Ever Infant Baptism
    September 20, 2016
  • Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools
    March 15, 2019
  • Email Scandal Rocks Tiny Mennonite Church
    July 26, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Canadian Mennonite Dares to Try the Hot Sauce from Mexican Import Store
    July 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Discovers Brave New World of Fried Vereniki
    April 1, 2020
  • Argentina Runs Out of Yerba Mate Moments After World Cup Victory
    December 18, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026
  • US Troops Accidentally Seize One of Those Oil and Vinegar Tasting Rooms
    January 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Friesen Woman to Become Froese
    December 13, 2016
  • Local Couple Not Nearly as Rich as Huge Wad of Canadian Tire Money Suggests
    May 27, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Drills Ice-Fishing Hole in Kitchen Floor
    February 8, 2019
  • A List of Every Mannanite Film Ever Nominated for Bast Picture
    January 24, 2023

Trending

  • Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear
    January 27, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • World Panics as Every Single Person’s Internet Browsing History is Exposed on Wikileaks
    September 20, 2016
  • Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor
    November 2, 2022
  • ‘Seinfeld’ Re-runs Totally Confuse Local Mennonite Man
    July 14, 2016
  • Zondervan Releases New ‘Greatest Hits’ Bible
    September 30, 2021
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Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’

February 3, 2026

George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files

February 1, 2026

Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina

January 31, 2026

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026

Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now

January 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team
    January 19, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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