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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Algorithm Nothing But Vereniki

May 1, 2026

GRUNTHAL, MB Ever since she started following the Unger Review last month, Mrs. Annie Martens’s Facebook feed has been nothing but vereniki. “They’ve got me figured out,” said Martens. “Glums vereniki, blueberry vereniki. Close-ups of […]

Unger & Thirst

King Charles: “White House Dinner Not as Delicious as the Vereniki I Had in Steinbach Back in 1970”

April 30, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC King Charles III was treated to a gourmet state dinner at the White House this week, but the monarch said it failed in comparison to the most memorable meal of his life. “I […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween
    October 26, 2024
  • Affluent Attention-Starved Couple Lodges Complaint Against Pastor for Not Visiting them as Often as Actual People in Need
    July 13, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Earns Place in Heaven after Attending Evening Service
    February 25, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Heretical Mennonite Man Smothers Perogies in Sour Cream
    July 13, 2020
  • Liquor Stores Flooded with Mennonites Pretending Not to Buy Beer for the Lake this Weekend
    August 2, 2024
  • Mennonite Woman’s Glasses are So Foggy She Can’t Even See Who to Judge at the Liquor Store
    September 15, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Snow Arrives Just in Time to Ruin Halloween
    October 26, 2023
  • Winnipeg Launches New Program to Care for Feral Mennonites
    January 9, 2024
  • Local Man Forgets to Remove Nikes Before Burning Them
    September 10, 2018
  • Mennonites Gather for Nationwide ‘No Krahns’ Protests
    October 19, 2025

Trending

  • Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody
    April 22, 2026
  • City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory
    April 21, 2026
  • Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite
    April 20, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Taylor Swift Announces Massive Countrywide Tour of Toronto
    August 3, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis
    March 21, 2023
  • NHL Announces Expansion to Tiny Mennonite Village
    June 22, 2016
  • Smoke Detector Battery Conveniently Programmed to Expire and Chirp Loudly at 2 in the Morning
    December 5, 2023
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Cuauhtémoc Selected as 2026 World Cup Host City

April 29, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’

April 27, 2026

Mennonite Town Implements Needle Exchange Program for Knitting-Addicted Grandmas

April 25, 2026

Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year

April 24, 2026

Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch

April 23, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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