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Unger Games

Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville

April 5, 2026

TABER, AB The local arena in Taber, Alberta is getting a major upgrade after winning Kraft Hockeyville this week. “We’ve been flooding the rink with leftover schmaunt fat for years,” said arena manager Susie Plett. […]

Unger Games

Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler

April 4, 2026

WINKLER, MB Rumours are swirling in Winkler this week after Chicago White Sox outfielder Tristan Peters became the first Mennonite ever and first Manitoban in almost twenty years to make to first base. The news […]

Unger Conviction

  • Fiery Pastor Finds Three Extra Syllables in the Name Jesus
    January 2, 2025
  • Church Sets Record With 7 Hour Welcome Time
    April 20, 2018
  • Why All Mennonite Families Hold Hands While Praying
    June 10, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Steinbach’s Mary Browns Can’t Figure Out Which One of them Opened that New Restaurant
    May 22, 2020
  • Mennonite Celebrities Featured on New YouTube Series ‘Bland Ones’
    September 19, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Spends Six Hours Looking for the Right Tupperware Lid
    September 23, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Launches New Streaming Service Called “Schputify”
    September 28, 2022
  • Reluctant Mennonite Man Dances to ‘Cotton Eye Joe’
    August 16, 2019
  • Five Controversial Topics You Can’t Joke About With Mennonites
    March 31, 2018
  • Local Man Still Has ‘Menno’s Reins’ Theme Song Stuck in His Head
    January 14, 2020

Trending

  • Winnipeg Construction Crews Busy Installing Fresh New Potholes
    March 29, 2026
  • Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’
    March 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows
    March 25, 2026
  • Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says
    March 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Frat Boys Disappointed with Visit to Intercourse, Pennsylvania
    August 17, 2017
  • Alex Rodriguez To Bring Disgrace to Baseball One Last Time Today
    August 12, 2016
  • Staunch Leftist Destroys Capitalism Aboard $60 Million Private Jet
    December 21, 2025
  • Canadian Prime Minister Finally Offers Formal Apology for Nickelback
    February 10, 2021
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Pam Bondi Offered Promising New Career in Multilevel Marketing

April 3, 2026

Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt

April 2, 2026

8 Mennonite Families from Mexico Establish New Colony on Moon

April 1, 2026

Spring Arrives in Manitoba

March 31, 2026

La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level

March 30, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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