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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’

March 27, 2026

PASTWA, MB A local snowman was shunned this week for setting a bad example for the young people of the congregation by dressing immodestly. “There he is out in the yard without any clothes on yet,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows

March 25, 2026

INWOOD, MB Area man Steve Driedger was under the mistaken impression that something called “Net Flix” would include a lot of fishing shows. “But alas, poor Yorick, there was nuscht,” said Driedger. “All it is […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor to Enact 25% Tithe on First Day in Office
    November 26, 2024
  • Parents Punish Misbehaving Children By Forcing Them To Attend Annual Saengerfest
    December 14, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Accidentally Reads Men’s Study Bible
    September 24, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Biblical Literalist Accidentally Eats Shellfish
    August 5, 2022
  • Area Woman Pours Bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Just to Drink the Milk Afterwards
    August 13, 2022
  • KFC Implements New ‘Bring Your Own Bacon’ Policy
    August 25, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man’s Vocabulary Reduced to ‘Once’, ‘Yet’, and ‘Such’
    August 5, 2017
  • Mennonite Society of Letters Announces New ‘Fuela Reimer Literary Award’
    July 20, 2016
  • Area Woman Accidentally Posts Something Positive and Uplifting on Social Media
    May 19, 2025
  • Local Boy Strikes it Rich Gathering Quartz from the Driveway
    February 29, 2024

Trending

  • Local Gas Station to Offer Free Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase
    March 18, 2026
  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight
    March 16, 2026
  • Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year
    March 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Justin Trudeau Confuses Yerba Mate for Marijuana
    August 12, 2016
  • Mennonites Interrupt New ‘Star Wars’ Film with Impromptu Hymn Sing
    December 30, 2019
  • Spoiler Isn’t Making Your Car Any Faster, It’s Just Making You Look that Much More Desperate
    February 18, 2021
  • A List of Things Hipsters Stole from Mennonites
    September 25, 2017
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Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says

March 24, 2026

‘KPop Dueck Hunters’ Number One Movie on Mennonite Netflix

March 23, 2026

Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight

March 21, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque

March 20, 2026

Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

March 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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