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Unger Suspicion

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

SILICON VALLEY, CA After several disturbing reports by AI experts that claimed there was a 10% chance AI would kill us all within 10 years, new studies written by AI show that there’s actually nothing […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

REGINA, SK Residents of Saskatchewan have voted overwhelmingly this week to legalize potash dispensaries across the province. “We’ve gotta do something to keep up with Belarus,” said Regina resident Barry Broesky. “I’m sure with all […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Church Consists Entirely of Just Kehlers
    October 25, 2021
  • Wardrobe Malfunction Taints Mennonite Quartet Performance
    February 5, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Accidentally Sings Hymn 666
    December 29, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Italian Canadians Object to Trudeau’s New Carbonara Tax
    October 29, 2018
  • World’s Longest Farmer Sausage Stretches from Blumenort to Steinbach
    September 10, 2017
  • Mennonite Food Critic Demands Larger Portions
    October 1, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Niverville Eager to Shed Raunchy ‘Bedroom Community’ Image
    December 28, 2017
  • Mennonites Appear in New Reality Show ‘Quilting with the Stars’
    March 15, 2021
  • Hutterite Woman Dresses as a Mennonite for Halloween
    October 31, 2024
  • Shutdown of Pipeline Affects Delivery of Schmaunt Fat Between Gretna and Winnipeg
    May 28, 2024

Trending

  • Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea
    September 18, 2026
  • Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    September 17, 2026
  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadians Forced to Winter in Canada this Year
    October 14, 2020
  • Innocent Civilian Super Grateful to Have House Bombed in Name of Freedom
    June 23, 2025
  • Burton Cummings to Donate His Moustache to Charity
    October 1, 2017
  • Bob Dylan Set to Release “Even Slower Train Coming” Album
    June 1, 2016
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Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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