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Unger Games

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Inspired by goalie Connor Helleybuyck and quarterback Dieter Brock, the entire population of Winnipeg has requested a trade out of Winnipeg. “If I knew it was that easy, I would have done this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

BLUMENORT, MB After extensive traffic studies on Highway 12 north of Steinbach this summer, the Manitoba Road Authority has decided to designate the left lane to be used exclusively by families driving excruciatingly slow and/or […]

Unger Conviction

  • Felix Manz, Forgotten Second Rebaptizer, Declared “Buzz Aldrin” of the Anabaptists
    January 22, 2025
  • New Mennonite Hymnal Eliminates Verse 3 from Every Hymn
    December 4, 2016
  • Two Groups That Absolutely Hate Each Other and Disagree on Nearly Everything Both Say They’re “Christians”
    September 16, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Canada Agrees To Allow American Booze But Only If It’s All Pappy Van Winkle
    August 21, 2026
  • Road Closures Cut Off Paska Supply
    April 15, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Struggles with Soup at Local Vietnamese Restaurant
    July 8, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Supersite Workers Promise Not to Comment on Your Farmer’s Tan
    June 26, 2021
  • Andrew Unger to Perform at Grey Cup Half Time Show
    November 4, 2022
  • Andrew Unger Answers the Web’s Most-Searched Questions About Mennonites
    June 18, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s
    August 10, 2026

Trending

  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards
    September 14, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • An Exclusive Interview with the Notorious ‘Alberta Clipper’
    February 12, 2018
  • Tourists Shocked by Absence of Bonnets in Southern Manitoba
    September 6, 2016
  • Young People Wonder Just What Kind of World They’re Leaving for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards
    May 1, 2021
  • Petition Calls for Entire State of Minnesota to Join Canada
    January 7, 2019
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Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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