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Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Reluctantly Keeps Tacky Jesus Souvenir For Thirty Years
    January 25, 2019
  • Retailers Quick to Cash In as Foot Washing Becomes Latest Gen Z Trend
    February 17, 2024
  • Tim Tebow Signs with Mennonite Church, but Not as QB
    May 10, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Woman Burns Hole In Her Tongue Eating Cinnamon Hearts
    February 14, 2019
  • Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby
    October 10, 2023
  • Winnipeg Man Subsists on Nothing but Rae and Jerry’s Tomato Juice for the Past 60 Years
    May 6, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Dodge Caravan Sets World Land Speed Record
    August 13, 2017
  • Five Common Misconceptions About Mennonites
    March 9, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Drives 40 Minutes Out of Her Way to Go to the “Good” Thrift Store
    March 8, 2024
  • Ten Extremely Menno Texts My Wife Has Sent Me (This is real!)
    March 12, 2019

Trending

  • Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario
    August 26, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes
    August 24, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Gifts Wife Wrong Kind Of Dutch Oven
    August 23, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Elderly Mennonite Woman Picks Off Johnny Manziel Four Times in CFL Debut
    August 9, 2018
  • Canadians Forced to Winter in Canada this Year
    October 14, 2020
  • Manitoba Man Survives Three Days and Three Nights in the Belly of a Red River Catfish
    September 9, 2018
  • Calgary Mayor Handily Defeated by Abbotsford Mayor in Crokinole Match
    April 5, 2017
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Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants

August 27, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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