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Unger Games

Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone

February 18, 2026

MILAN, ITALY Canadian curler Mark Kennedy has been accused of taking a few strategies from crokinole this week at the Olympics. “The replay clearly shows he knipsed the stone after the hog line,” said curler […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning

February 17, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Premier Wab Kinew held an emergency press conference this afternoon to announce the entire province was now under a Yellow Snow Advisory. “Don’t eat it. Don’t touch it. Don’t go anywhere near it,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Couple Names Children After Really Obscure Old Testament Characters
    June 2, 2016
  • Steinbach Declared “Most Generous” Contributors to Church Gymnasium Funds
    March 24, 2023
  • 9 Pound Mennonite Baby Miraculously Born Three Months Premature
    August 4, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Whose Mennonite Mom Makes the Best Perogies?
    May 13, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly
    May 24, 2024
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    April 21, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Gathering Cancelled: Friesens Told to Go Home and Stay There
    December 27, 2021
  • Mother-of-the-Bride Insists on Having “The Talk” Moments Before Daughter Walks Down the Aisle
    June 25, 2016
  • Ten Amazing Mennonite-Related Google Trends Charts
    April 3, 2018
  • Top 10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Mennonites
    December 16, 2022

Trending

  • Americans Furious About All-Plautdietsch Halftime Show
    February 10, 2026
  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • News Flash: Belize Exists!
    July 26, 2019
  • Documentary “The Shape of Water” Tells the Story of a Mennonite Woman and Her Husband Abe
    March 8, 2018
  • Teens Shocked to Meet Grandparents at New Timothée Chalamet Movie
    December 26, 2024
  • Mennonites Really Disappointed with Philip Yantsied
    January 9, 2026
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I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found

February 16, 2026

France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2

February 15, 2026

Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island

February 14, 2026

Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

February 13, 2026

White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island

February 11, 2026

Unger Games

  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026
  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026
  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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