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Unger Suspicion

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Under Fire After Releasing Heavily Redacted Church Bulletin
    December 22, 2025
  • Pourer Gets Dunked Just to Make Sure
    June 1, 2020
  • Emergency Backup Preacher Fills In for Injured Senior Pastor
    February 25, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Winkler Declares Schmaunt Fat Rationing Emergency
    July 28, 2021
  • McDonalds to Offer All-Day Faspa
    February 7, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Denies Having a Beer Belly
    February 1, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Book Club Shares One Copy Between the Whole Group
    November 23, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Spends Entire Grey Cup Reading Daily Bonnet Articles
    December 12, 2021
  • Mennonite Housebarn to be Converted into Luxury Condos
    January 22, 2019
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrates 40 Years of Marriage by Getting Separate Beds
    July 24, 2017

Trending

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario
    August 26, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes
    August 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • 1.4 Million Manitobans Show Up at Steep Rock All at Once
    August 2, 2020
  • Loewen Family Totally Destroys Dueck Family
    January 20, 2019
  • Local MP Comes Out as Flat Earther
    August 9, 2021
  • Pacifist-Thriller ‘Hacksaw Ridge’ Lures Reluctant Mennonites into Movie Theatre
    November 18, 2016
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Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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