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The Daily Bonnet

Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review

May 31, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC As part of his ongoing war on comedy, President Trump launched a series of attacks against Mennonite humourist Andrew Unger last night. “Totally untalented, not funny. Nobody reads The Unger Review. His ratings […]

Unger the Influence

Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week

May 30, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC A completely destroyed and annihilated military has somehow managed to take over the Strait of Hormuz this afternoon, which means Donald Trump will have to completely destroy the completely destroyed military yet again. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Southern Baptists Aim to Have More Dysfunctional Infighting than the Mennonites by 2024
    June 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Pastor Stocks up for Communion
    December 19, 2025
  • Mennonite Pastor Hides Geocache in Church to Attract New Members
    March 19, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Poll: What is Your Favourite Flavour of Knackzoat?
    June 7, 2019
  • Grandma Wiens is About to Try this Mysterious New Substance
    July 29, 2020
  • New Study: Farmer Sausage Contains Only “Trace Amounts” of Actual Farmers
    March 10, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Boats Full of “Persecuted Mennonite Refugees” Fleeing Trivial Nuisances in Canada
    July 25, 2021
  • Cuauhtémoc Selected as 2026 World Cup Host City
    April 29, 2026
  • Thousands of Mennonites ‘Conscientiously Object’ to Winter
    January 21, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Still Writing Her Cheques for 2018
    January 13, 2019

Trending

  • Ed Sullivan Theatre to Be Demolished and Replaced with Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech
    May 22, 2026
  • Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki
    May 21, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout
    May 19, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Woman Waits 2 Weeks for Service at Local Hardware Store
    January 9, 2025
  • 16-Year-Old Swede Tops Canadian Election Poll
    September 24, 2019
  • Gentlemen’s Club Shockingly Bereft of Any Gentlemen
    November 24, 2024
  • Mennonite Family Adopts ‘Baby Yoder’
    January 17, 2020
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Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026

Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026

Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026

Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026

Unger Games

  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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