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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate

July 16, 2026

This is real. I know, I don’t report real news very often. A good Mennonite would never purchase a vanity plate, but, hey, when you can get one for free, why not? I guess we […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again

July 15, 2026

ATLANTA, GA Mennonite soccer fans across South America were cheering against Argentina this afternoon, only for England to totally “fe’schlucke” at the last minute. “Diewel, I’ve never seen a team fe’schlucke themselves like that before,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • The Seven Deadly Sins (for Mennonites)
    October 11, 2017
  • Mennonite Boy Takes Girl to Church on First Date
    November 22, 2021
  • Mennonite Church Holds Lottery to See Who Can Attend Church this Week
    February 23, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Woos Potential Spouse by Eating Takis Fuego
    February 14, 2024
  • Strangers on Russlaender Train Agree to Swap Recipes
    July 12, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Impresses Woman With His Ability to Consume Raw Rhubarb
    October 2, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Plautdietsch Ranked as ‘World’s Saxiest Accent’
    April 23, 2021
  • Mrs. Wiebe Raises Adult Son’s Allowance to 5 Shiny New Quarters a Week
    November 21, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Creates His Own ‘Stanley Cup’
    January 13, 2024
  • Winnipeg Launches New Program to Care for Feral Mennonites
    January 9, 2024

Trending

  • Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest
    July 9, 2026
  • World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat
    July 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year
    July 7, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Productivity Way Down as Canadians Spend All Day Refreshing Test Results Page
    October 29, 2020
  • “It’s all starting to taste like Mennonite food!” Says Joe Biden After Losing Sense of Taste and Smell
    July 24, 2022
  • Local Phone Book Now Offered Exclusively in Large Print
    May 27, 2019
  • Hundreds of Illegal Migrants Cross Canadian Border on Segways
    September 19, 2017
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Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026

Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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