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Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning

February 17, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Premier Wab Kinew held an emergency press conference this afternoon to announce the entire province was now under a Yellow Snow Advisory. “Don’t eat it. Don’t touch it. Don’t go anywhere near it,” […]

Unger Suspicion

I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found

February 16, 2026

NOT SATIRE. I searched the Epstein Files. For real. This is not satire. Please note, of course, that there are millions upon millions of files and none of the findings here suggest any wrongdoing. Here […]

Unger Conviction

  • Martin Luther Costumes Flying Off the Shelves this Halloween
    October 31, 2017
  • Editorial: ‘I Think the Lord Would Approve of Our Church Split’
    December 2, 2016
  • Mennonites Praying for Snow Day So They Can Miss Church Tomorrow
    December 8, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Lutheran Man Joins Mennonite Church After Discovering Roll Kuchen
    July 6, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Beats Bobby Flay
    May 11, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman to Continue Wearing Mask in Liquor Store
    March 15, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Local Man Still Has ‘Menno’s Reins’ Theme Song Stuck in His Head
    January 14, 2020
  • Historians Baffled: “Were Mennonites Dancing in Danzig?”
    October 1, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Launches New Streaming Service Called “Schputify”
    September 28, 2022
  • Ex-Mennonite Accidentally Leans Over Onto the Non-Shunned Table
    April 18, 2021

Trending

  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026
  • Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’
    February 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Deceased Mennonite Man Shocked to Encounter Ozzy Osbourne
    July 24, 2025
  • World Health Organization Bans Reading Internet Comments
    August 24, 2019
  • Nostradamus Eerily Predicts the End of Twitter
    November 15, 2022
  • Perfumer Releases New ‘Urine and Weed’ Scent in Tribute to New York City
    October 15, 2024
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France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2

February 15, 2026

Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island

February 14, 2026

Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

February 13, 2026

White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island

February 11, 2026

Americans Furious About All-Plautdietsch Halftime Show

February 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026
  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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