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Unger Suspicion

Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler

April 15, 2026

WINKLER, MB Angine de Poitrine, the mysterious math rock duo who has taken the Internet by storm, have kept their identities secret until now. The secret slipped this week out after the drummer was caught […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After a barrage of floor crossing and a couple by-elections this week, Mark Carney and the Conservative Party of Canada have finally formed a majority government. “Canadians have spoken loud and clear—they want […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Digs Up Old Sermon from the 60s to Preach Against New Beatles Song
    November 4, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Dies, Donates Her Organs
    November 29, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Accidentally Sings Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ During Handel’s Messiah
    December 17, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Health Conscious Mennonite Woman Opts for ‘Diet Papsi’
    July 4, 2024
  • New Law Requires Fruitcake to Come with List of All Previous Owners
    December 29, 2023
  • Pantry Inspector Fines Mennonite Woman for Hoarding All the Aylmer Tomatoes
    May 31, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Drives Really Slow ‘To Be a Witness for the Lord’
    August 25, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Resolves Not to Gossip in 2017
    January 15, 2017
  • Innovative Mennonite Kids Fill Super Soakers with Hand Sanitizer
    July 14, 2020
  • Mr. Enns Accuses Mr. Ens of ‘Sheer Laziness’
    April 20, 2020

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet
    April 7, 2026
  • Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney
    April 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadian Olympians Forced to Pay Back Half Their Medals in Taxes
    February 13, 2018
  • Canadian Gun Enthusiasts Relieved that Covid-19s Were Left Off Trudeau’s List
    May 2, 2020
  • Jets Already Down Three Games to None after Opening Faceoff
    May 19, 2021
  • “No, thanks!” Don Plett Rejects Ryan Reynolds’ Offer to Purchase Ottawa Senators
    November 9, 2022
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“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026

Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church

April 12, 2026

Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil

April 11, 2026

Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event

April 10, 2026

Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist

April 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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