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The Daily Bonnet

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

YARROW, BC There was a buzz in the church lobby at South Yarrow MB this week after the province announced there would be permanent daylight savings. “Oba, I expect savings during at an MCC bag […]

Unger the Influence

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

STEINBACH, MB In what just may be the most Steinbach headline in history, Judy Peters reports from Steinbach City Hall on Reimer Avenue this week that mayor Earl Funk and former city councillor Cari Penner […]

Unger Conviction

  • Four-Part Harmony Slashed to Three After Recent Budget Cuts
    October 25, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Choir Reveals New Third Jersey
    September 16, 2018
  • Local Mennonite Church Becomes First Ever to Make it All the Way Through ‘Der Friedensfürst’ Without Messing Up
    December 22, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Young People Invade Perkins on Fermor
    April 28, 2023
  • ‘Hawk Tuah Girl’ Launches Her Own Brand of Knackzoat
    August 12, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Woos Potential Spouse by Eating Takis Fuego
    February 14, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026
  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Grandma Friesen Totally Schools Grandchildren in Plautdietsch Scrabble Match
    August 20, 2017
  • Vinyl Outsells CDs at MCC Store for the First Time Since 1987
    March 29, 2023
  • Funeral Turns Into Mennonite Family Gathering
    October 21, 2023
  • Manitoba Man Prepares Ark for Annual Spring Thaw
    March 16, 2017

Trending

  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026
  • Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey
    February 21, 2026
  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • World Breathes Collective Sigh of Relief as Zoom Goes Down
    May 17, 2020
  • Justin Trudeau Really Hoping Everyone Just Goes Back to Talking About the SNC-Lavalin Scandal
    September 19, 2019
  • Shocking Video Emerges of Politician Not Being a Complete Douche
    September 20, 2019
  • Canadian Olympic Team to Wear Dirty Mennonite Overalls and Shit Kickers
    April 16, 2021
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US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey

February 26, 2026

Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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