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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate

July 16, 2026

This is real. I know, I don’t report real news very often. A good Mennonite would never purchase a vanity plate, but, hey, when you can get one for free, why not? I guess we […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again

July 15, 2026

ATLANTA, GA Mennonite soccer fans across South America were cheering against Argentina this afternoon, only for England to totally “fe’schlucke” at the last minute. “Diewel, I’ve never seen a team fe’schlucke themselves like that before,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Hip New Church Bulletin Goes All Comic Sans
    April 9, 2017
  • Parents Punish Misbehaving Children By Forcing Them To Attend Annual Saengerfest
    December 14, 2016
  • Christian Church Continues Longstanding Christian Tradition of Doing the Opposite of Everything Christ Ever Taught
    March 26, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Area Woman Picks “Gross Onions” Off Her Burger while Devouring Her “Delicious Onion Rings”
    October 29, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Arrested at Border for Possession of Poppyseed Cake
    April 12, 2017
  • Glass at Edge of Table Patiently Awaits Refill
    October 17, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Pennsylvania Mennonite Woman Will Absolutely Destroy You on the Volleyball Court
    September 13, 2020
  • Mennonite Heritage Village Offers Time Travel for a Lot Less than the Cost of a Delorean
    August 21, 2018
  • 2020 Knipsbrat League Standings
    December 16, 2020
  • The 12 Days of Mennonite Christmas
    December 25, 2021

Trending

  • Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest
    July 9, 2026
  • World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat
    July 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year
    July 7, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Jury Finds Johnny Depp Guilty of Having Better Lawyers
    June 1, 2022
  • Pam Bondi Offered Promising New Career in Multilevel Marketing
    April 3, 2026
  • Marty McFly Goes Back 30 Years to the Mysterious World of 1994
    January 5, 2024
  • Taylor Swift Announces Massive Countrywide Tour of Toronto
    August 3, 2023
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Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026

Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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