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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

MORDEN, MB Back in 1998, Winkler man Karl Broesky kissed his family goodbye and embarked on a journey to the pick up some Chicken Chef in Morden. Now, 28 years later, he’s finally completed his […]

Unger Games

Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate

November 4, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Just as all hope was lost, the Winnipeg Jets stormed back from a 4-0 deficit last night to take control of the US House and Senate. “It’s hard to stop that blue wave,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Winkler Church to Install Roundabout in Parking Lot
    August 10, 2017
  • Entire Mennonite Town Becomes One Giant Escape Room
    May 22, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Nails ’95 Theses’ to the Door of Local Church
    November 11, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Woman Burns Hole In Her Tongue Eating Cinnamon Hearts
    February 14, 2019
  • Americans to Consume More than 2 Million Tons of Baked Beans Today
    July 4, 2023
  • Area Couple Enjoys Delicious Meal of Authentic Mennonite Food
    July 21, 2026

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Quarantined Mennonite Man Plays Brommtopp from Balcony to Entertain Neighbours
    April 13, 2020
  • Mennonite Farmer Caught Combining on a Sunday
    October 27, 2019
  • Mennonite Dating Site Guarantees a Menno Match!
    April 15, 2019
  • Police Vow to Put a Stop to Mennonite Crack Problem
    July 20, 2019

Trending

  • Person Under 70 Shocks Community By Voting
    October 28, 2026
  • Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler
    October 26, 2026
  • Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites
    October 25, 2026
  • Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler
    October 23, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Lindsey “Loewen” Reveals We’ve Been Spelling and Saying Her Name Wrong the Whole Time
    February 23, 2022
  • Farmer’s Almanac Predicting Winter to Follow Autumn this Year
    September 23, 2020
  • Ricky Gervais Roasts “Mennonite Elites” at Annual Sunday School Attendance Awards
    January 8, 2020
  • Daily Bonnet Risks Alienating Legions of Devoted Followers in Quebec by Saying “Go Jets Go!”
    June 2, 2021
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Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change

November 3, 2026

Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden

November 1, 2026

Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese

October 31, 2026

Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game

October 30, 2026

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

October 29, 2026

Unger Games

  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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