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Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The City of Steinbach is urging residents to boil their schmaunt fat this afternoon after a private contractor accidentally damaged the pipe that supplies locals with clean fresh white cream gravy. “If it […]

Unger & Thirst

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

ARBORG, MB Area man Dan Wiens was just about finished his meatloaf and mashed potatoes this evening when the server finally popped by to see how the first few bites tasted. “Umm, it was good,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Falls Way Behind on Her Devotions
    March 20, 2019
  • Bible College Sells Record Number of Engagement Rings on Student Orientation Day
    August 28, 2024
  • Mennonite Couple Claim TV is Just for Watching Billy Graham Specials
    April 4, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Coming this October to a Mennonite Church Near You: Pumpkin Spice Baptisms!
    October 4, 2018
  • Glass at Edge of Table Patiently Awaits Refill
    October 17, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Brings Inferior Zoat to Bonfire
    May 31, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Winkler Family Plans Exotic Vacation in Morden this Summer
    September 1, 2020
  • Mennonite Couple Prefers to be Three Hours Early Rather than Three Minutes Late
    December 20, 2021
  • Mennonite in Liquor Store Spots Mennonite in Liquor Store
    May 22, 2025
  • Reluctant Mennonite Man Dances to ‘Cotton Eye Joe’
    August 16, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church
    April 12, 2026
  • Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil
    April 11, 2026
  • Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event
    April 10, 2026
  • Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist
    April 8, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Spotify Removes Every Neil Young Album Except “Everybody’s Rockin'”
    February 7, 2022
  • Family in Totally Perfect Photo Actually Really Messed Up
    February 21, 2019
  • Local Man So Bored He’d Even Be Willing to Watch Baseball
    March 23, 2020
  • Canadian Olympic Team to Wear Dirty Mennonite Overalls and Shit Kickers
    April 16, 2021
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Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler

April 15, 2026

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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