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Unger Conviction

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Waters of Blessing, an area church well known for its mind-blowing worship hour, is urging parishioners to bring their eclipse glasses along to this weekend’s service. “We’ve heard your cries for more total […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Toews was so thoroughly embarrassed with her failure to add star anise to her chicken soup at the soup and pie fundraiser this past week that she has vowed never to make […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Accidentally Sings Hymn 666
    December 29, 2017
  • Snopes.com Fact Checks Mennonite Pastor’s Sermon
    October 26, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Signs Pastor to Massive 30-Year $1.2 Million Contract
    January 18, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Garden Thief Claims She Was “Just Trying to Make Somma Borscht”
    June 17, 2020
  • Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn’t Run Out of Food at the Gathering
    August 19, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Tries Unsuccessfully to Get a Buzz from Ginger Ale
    November 9, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • A Gallery of Hilarious Mennonite Gravestones
    January 1, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Still Using the Toilet Paper She Bought Last Year
    March 17, 2021
  • Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque
    January 9, 2017
  • Mennonites Driving Up the Price of Sod Huts in Vancouver
    July 5, 2019

Trending

  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026
  • 8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw
    August 2, 2026
  • Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’
    August 1, 2026
  • Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score
    July 31, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canada Geese Return Home Just to Shit All Over It
    April 12, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi
    October 8, 2025
  • Spoiler Alert: Simba is Pacifist in New ‘Lion King’ Remake
    November 28, 2018
  • Conspiracy Nut Launches Rocket to Prove Steinbach is Flat
    December 4, 2017
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Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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