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Unger Suspicion

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor
    November 2, 2022
  • Mennonite Pastor Earns $400,000 for Wall Street Sermon
    May 4, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Signs Pastor to Massive 30-Year $1.2 Million Contract
    January 18, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Banished From Town After Choosing the Sweet Pickles
    August 1, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Bids Fond Farewell to Future Farmer Sausage
    July 26, 2023
  • Controversial Mennonite Woman Cooks Up Batch of Somma Borscht in Winter
    March 7, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’
    April 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Passes “Auntie Jen” Test
    April 27, 2022
  • Mennonite Critics Excited to Watch ‘Women Talking’ and Find All the “Errors”
    January 7, 2023
  • Winter Fashion Forecast: Long Johns All the Rage This Year
    December 18, 2016

Trending

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario
    August 26, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes
    August 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Man Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for Lasting All 20 Seasons Without Watching the Kardashians
    June 15, 2021
  • Man Who Hates and Distrusts Billionaires Sure Loves Billionaires
    January 5, 2025
  • Gary Bettman Attempts to Move the Steinbach Pistons to Arizona
    October 3, 2016
  • ‘Mainstream Media Can’t be Trusted’ Says Area Man Who Gets All His Information from Memes
    May 15, 2021
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Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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