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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The long wait is over as the City of Steinbach has finally unveiled a new ten year plan to improve the growing community’s public transportation infrastructure. The plan includes the licensing of guys […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

Unger Conviction

  • Thousands of Catholics Forced to Become Anabaptists After Priest Says One Wrong Word
    February 16, 2022
  • Child With Eyes Open During Prayer Spots Child With Eyes Open During Prayer
    November 9, 2021
  • World’s Coolest Mennonite Pastor Wears Fox Racing Hoodie to Church
    August 2, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • “Is Zoom a Sin?” and Other Frequently Searched Phrases of 2020
    May 19, 2020
  • Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year
    April 24, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Blows Entire Co-op Dividend Cheque on Chicken Chef Feast
    June 4, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Help Mr. Funk Decide: Is He Swiss or Russian Mennonite?
    March 2, 2021
  • Mennonites Appear in New Reality Show ‘Quilting with the Stars’
    March 15, 2021
  • Winkler Man Ruled ‘Too Old’ to be Cruising Main Street
    July 10, 2017
  • Mennonite Uncle Barred from Thanksgiving Gathering after Forgetting His ID and Vax Card
    October 10, 2021

Trending

  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    July 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives
    July 26, 2026
  • Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy
    July 25, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Manitoba Beaches to Open This Weekend After Temperatures Soar to -15!
    February 13, 2019
  • Winnipeg Couple Plans ‘Nice, Warm, Tropical Vacation’ on Mars
    January 28, 2019
  • Chinese Government Calls for Strict 12-Child Policy on Mennonites
    July 16, 2016
  • Top 10 Most Hilarious Posts on ‘Wow Steinbach’
    December 17, 2023
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Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026

Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score

July 31, 2026

Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas

July 30, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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