The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB There was a buzz in the quilting room at South Kildonan MB this afternoon after the province announced there would be permanent daylight savings. “Oba, I expect savings during an MCC bag sale […]

The Daily Bonnet

Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU

September 16, 2026

STRASBOURG, FRANCE Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney has decided to send the descendants of Mennonite delegates Jakob Hoeppner and Johann Bartsch to negotiate a privilegium with the EU. “Understanding the importance of these meetings, we […]

Unger Conviction

  • ‘Presumptuous’ Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to Church
    December 8, 2016
  • Local Heart Surgeon Locates Jesus
    December 1, 2018
  • Mennonite Couple Names Children After Really Obscure Old Testament Characters
    June 2, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Paper Straw Totally Disintegrates Before Mennonite Man Gets to the Bottom of His Papsi
    August 24, 2022
  • How to Get That Perfect Mennonite ‘Dad Bod’ You Always Wanted
    June 17, 2018
  • Mennonite Couple Enjoys Romantic Late Night Supper at 4:30 in the Afternoon
    September 3, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Historians Baffled: “Were Mennonites Dancing in Danzig?”
    October 1, 2019
  • Steinbach Residents Petition City to Build Massive 640 Acre Parking Lot Downtown
    October 7, 2019
  • General Conference and Mennonite Brethren Form Joint Olympic Team
    February 9, 2018
  • Sloth Emerges Victorious in Mennonite Dance Competition
    June 20, 2016

Trending

  • Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money
    September 9, 2026
  • New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size
    September 8, 2026
  • Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona
    September 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi
    September 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Bitcoin Adopts Catchy New Slogan
    May 17, 2022
  • 7 Rock Songs We Should Sing in Church
    November 28, 2017
  • Modestly Attired Mennonite Women to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show
    February 6, 2020
  • Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment
    December 25, 2022
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team

September 15, 2026

Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards

September 14, 2026

Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’

September 13, 2026

Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town

September 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

September 11, 2026

Unger Games

  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved