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Unger Games

Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup

May 18, 2026

WINNIPEG METRO REGION, MB The Winnipeg Metro Region Nighthawks have become just the fourth team in MJHL history to win the national championship. “We’re so proud of our team the Nighthawks,” said Winnipeg mayor Scott […]

Unger Suspicion

Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour

May 17, 2026

MIAMI, FL The ancient Canaanite deity Baal is super excited to have a statue in his honour placed just outside the Trump golf course in Florida. “I haven’t been honoured in such a public fashion […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Suspends Man 41 Weeks for Using Playing Cards
    October 28, 2023
  • Mennonite Pastor Schedules Mandatory Church Meeting During Game 7
    June 22, 2024
  • Long Lost Hymn 606 Discovered on Page 118
    June 10, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Steinbachers to Vote on Whether to Legalize Romaine Lettuce
    November 25, 2018
  • Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta
    September 20, 2021
  • Visitor to Winkler Gets Severe Case of Mennozuma’s Revenge
    July 8, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Children Walk In On Parents Having Meddachschlop
    December 28, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Shocks Relatives by Shooting with Middle Finger
    November 3, 2021
  • A Mennonite Word Search Puzzle!
    June 13, 2018
  • Costco Cracks Down on Mennonites Sharing Memberships
    August 13, 2024

Trending

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids
    May 7, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Every Single Road Named “Worst Road in Manitoba”
    May 25, 2022
  • Twitter Unveils New Logo
    July 24, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Has Suspenders Confiscated at Quebec Border
    October 15, 2018
  • Americans Feel So Much Safer After Assassination of Some Guy They Never Heard of Before
    January 4, 2020
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Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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