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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

July 23, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB When word got out that Nickelback was in town, thousands of Mennonites flocked to the arena in Winnipeg this week to collect their refund. “I heard this is the place to get my […]

Unger Suspicion

Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge

July 22, 2026

WINDSOR-DETROIT Moments after the US struck a deal to take over the Gordie Howe Bridge, a massive algae bloom was discovered in the Detroit River. “Someone cut it, cut it with a boxcutter or something,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Fight Breaks Out for Church Pew on ‘Peace Sunday’
    November 10, 2019
  • Mennonites Baptized in Low German Forced to Do it Over Again in High German
    March 14, 2022
  • Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools
    March 15, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Canadian Woman Confuses Vegemite for Nutella
    June 3, 2024
  • Pharaoh’s Heart Hardened by Cracklings
    August 20, 2016
  • All Steinbach Restaurants to Serve Nothing but Pizza from Now On
    December 16, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Top 10 Menno Lit Satire Articles
    June 9, 2025
  • Steinbach Residents Petition City to Build Massive 640 Acre Parking Lot Downtown
    October 7, 2019
  • Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Date Night at Peavey Mart
    April 20, 2024
  • Winkler-Steinbach Rivalry to Be Settled With Winner-Take-All Dutch Blitz Tournament
    February 20, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot
    July 14, 2026
  • Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer
    July 13, 2026
  • Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave
    July 12, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Vinegar Feeling ‘Severely Neglected’ as Jason Kenney Spends All His Time on Oil
    June 1, 2019
  • Lotto 6/49 Rewards Local Man with a Truck Load of Toilet Paper
    March 14, 2020
  • Canadian Men’s Hockey Team is Mostly Just Random Dudes from Your Church Floor Hockey League
    January 12, 2018
  • ‘Huge Adele Fan’ Discovers She’s Actually Been Listening to Lauren Daigle for the Past Five Years
    May 16, 2022
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Area Couple Enjoys Delicious Meal of Authentic Mennonite Food

July 21, 2026

Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus

July 20, 2026

US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce

July 19, 2026

Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke

July 18, 2026

Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate

July 16, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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