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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Implements Needle Exchange Program for Knitting-Addicted Grandmas

April 25, 2026

BIRD-IN-HAND, PA The small Mennonite town of Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania has become the first community in the nation to introduce a knitting needle exchange program for local grandmas. Starting this January, local knitters will be able […]

Unger & Thirst

Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year

April 24, 2026

MORDEN, MB Area man Paul Goertzen has decided he’s going to beat everyone else to the punch this year and put up his corn stand at the end of April. “Come get your sweet delicious […]

Unger Conviction

  • Epic Fail! MBer and GCer Make Feeble Attempt at Singing the Doxology Together
    September 7, 2020
  • Mennonite Pastor Super Excited as His Live-Streamed Sermon Gets Three Whole Views
    March 22, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Sings the Wrong Version of ‘Away in a Manger’
    December 22, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Stash of Roll Kuchen Discovered Beneath Trudeau’s Desk
    March 21, 2019
  • McDonalds Worker is Only Going to Call Your Freakin’ Number One More Time Before She Just Eats it All Herself Already
    May 22, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Impresses Woman With His Ability to Consume Raw Rhubarb
    October 2, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Morden Man Successfully Stretches Penny Into Copper Wire
    November 29, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Thrills Wife with Fleeting Half-Assed Massage
    May 16, 2021
  • Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event
    April 10, 2026
  • My Grandma Doesn’t Believe This Photo Will Reach Around the World
    March 10, 2017

Trending

  • Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen
    April 18, 2026
  • Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler
    April 15, 2026
  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026
  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Winnipeg Pothole Swallows Entire Mennonite Family
    April 7, 2017
  • Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment
    December 25, 2022
  • Manitobans Required to Lounge Around in Towels and Pretend the Whole Province is One Big Sauna
    July 22, 2022
  • Canadians Honour Heritage of Labourious Spelling Today
    September 4, 2017
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Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch

April 23, 2026

Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody

April 22, 2026

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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