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Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Anne Froese, 71, has been taken into custody by Saskatoon policy this weekend after it was discovered she had tried to pass off a Costco pumpkin pie as her own. “When […]

Unger Conviction

  • Time Between Ceremony and Reception Extended to Torture Wedding Guests
    September 21, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Dies After Serving on One Too Many Church Committees
    October 22, 2017
  • ‘Iron Maiden’ Performs to Sold Out Crowd at Local Mennonite Church
    November 17, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Man Disguised as Mennonite Woman Smears Schmaunt Fat on Mona Lisa
    May 31, 2022
  • Tide Pods Added to Grandma’s Delightful Faspa Spread
    January 20, 2018
  • Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies
    August 31, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Local Bible College Records First Nasty Breakup of the Year
    September 1, 2024
  • Local Author Stays Covid Safe with Ingenious Stick and Pen Combo
    May 28, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Creates World’s Longest Mexican Chain
    July 4, 2022
  • ‘The Voice’ to Feature Nothing but Mennonite Family Trios from Now On
    December 15, 2021

Trending

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026
  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Justin Trudeau to Vacation in Grunthal, Manitoba From Now On
    December 21, 2017
  • Mennonites Really Disappointed with Philip Yantsied
    January 9, 2026
  • New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’
    February 16, 2019
  • Quebec Requires All Residents to Wear Head Coverings
    July 20, 2020
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Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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