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Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round

June 27, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets sent shockwaves across the hockey world this afternoon after selecting Icelandic music superstar Björk in the first round of the draft this year. “We’ve been scouting her for a while,” […]

Unger the Influence

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool. “I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, “but when […]

Unger Conviction

  • Millennial Puts on Her Nicest Ripped Jeans for Church this Sunday
    January 28, 2018
  • Mennonites Collect Hundreds of Empty Shoe Boxes to Send Overseas
    October 23, 2016
  • Thrift Store Sees Huge Surge in Donations Thanks to Tomorrow’s Rapture
    September 22, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Old Dutch Releases New ‘Rapple Chaps’
    October 12, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Worried He Might Be Getting Old as He’s Finally Developed a Taste for Borscht
    March 18, 2021
  • Pantry Inspector Fines Mennonite Woman for Hoarding All the Aylmer Tomatoes
    May 31, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Tabloid Reports Corny Rempel Sightings at Local Gas Station
    February 18, 2020
  • Mennonites Demand Winnipeg Mayor to Change the City Name to ‘Vanapag’
    March 20, 2017
  • Radical Mennonite Woman Pairs Sausage with Potatoes
    August 20, 2024
  • GCers Feeling Left Out of ‘Restart Mennonite Brethren’ Campaign
    October 28, 2020

Trending

  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026
  • Alberta Man Votes to Stay in Canada After Discovering Honey Dill Sauce
    June 15, 2026
  • Musk Tries Desperately to Squeeze Camel Through Eye of This Needle
    June 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Abe Claims Landslide Victory in Japanese Election
    October 24, 2017
  • Alberta Man Deported for Failing to Drive an F150
    August 4, 2021
  • Pipeline to Supply Calgary With Toronto Water
    July 17, 2024
  • Massive Concrete Wall Divides Kitchener and Waterloo
    September 19, 2017
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300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank

June 25, 2026

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

June 24, 2026

Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk

June 23, 2026

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026

Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List

June 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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