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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

SWIFT CURRENT, SK It’s taken him more than four decades, but local music fan Steve Goosen has finally re-purchased all the albums he tossed on the bonfire at that fateful youth retreat back in 1979. […]

Unger Suspicion

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

MONTREAL, QUEBEC In an effort to appeal to a younger hipper audience, Canadian clothing retailer Reitmans has recently introduced a new Angine de Poitrine line of polka-dotted blouses and skirts. “I never knew Reitmans was […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Sings So Beautifully Out Her Nose
    December 27, 2024
  • Area Church Seemingly Doesn’t Realize that God is Not Confined to a Parking Lot
    November 29, 2020
  • Study Reveals 70% of Mennonites Don’t Know All the Dance Moves to Hymn 606
    November 11, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Families Sign-Up to Bring Salads, Buns, and Measles to Upcoming Potluck
    November 17, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Cancels Italy Trip After Discovering Olive Garden
    November 5, 2017
  • Farmer Sausage Added to Subway Meat Options
    August 31, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Avoids Sinning By Going to a Film Instead of a Movie
    April 15, 2025
  • Midterm ‘Red Wave’ Turns Out To Be Nothing But Farmer Sausage
    November 11, 2022
  • Masks Needed to Protect Residents During the Axe Body Spray Outbreak of 2020
    July 25, 2020
  • CBC Claims Harry Dick is a Real Person
    October 4, 2023

Trending

  • Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’
    August 1, 2026
  • Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score
    July 31, 2026
  • Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas
    July 30, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • NHL Announces Expansion to Tiny Mennonite Village
    June 22, 2016
  • Study Suggest Satire is 20% Funnier When Drunk
    January 16, 2019
  • Spoiler Alert: Simba is Pacifist in New ‘Lion King’ Remake
    November 28, 2018
  • Henderson, Nebraska Officially Declared “The Middle of Nowhere”
    October 7, 2018
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Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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