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Unger Suspicion

Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour

May 17, 2026

MIAMI, FL The ancient Canaanite deity Baal is super excited to have a statue in his honour placed just outside the Trump golf course in Florida. “I haven’t been honoured in such a public fashion […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026

CARMAN, MB Mrs. Loewen of Carman has been enlisted by Manitoba Premier Wab Kinew to dust the entire province this weekend. “That was quite the dust storm,” said Kinew. “But luckily we have women like […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Gets Standing Ovation in Switzerland
    January 22, 2026
  • Top 5 Christian Standup Comedians
    August 15, 2017
  • Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture
    February 25, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Winkler Co-op Named One of “World’s Greatest Places” by TIME Magazine
    March 30, 2023
  • Steinbach Finally Legalizes Sundae Shopping
    August 19, 2018
  • Steak Temperature Guide (Mennonite Edition)
    August 15, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Winter Fashion Forecast: Long Johns All the Rage This Year
    December 18, 2016
  • Christmas Card Disappoints
    December 23, 2024
  • Dodge Caravan Sets World Land Speed Record
    August 13, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Relieved to be Going Back to Celebrating Men for the Next 364 Days
    March 9, 2024

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids
    May 7, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl
    February 4, 2019
  • Justin Trudeau Suffers Embarrassing Case of Premature Election
    August 15, 2021
  • Americans Accuse Canada of “Premature Thankfulness”
    October 9, 2022
  • “No, thanks!” Don Plett Rejects Ryan Reynolds’ Offer to Purchase Ottawa Senators
    November 9, 2022
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Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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