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Unger Suspicion

Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus

July 20, 2026

HOLLYWOOD, CA Director Christopher Nolan has stirred up controversy for his casting decisions yet again this week after replacing Matt Damon with 83-year-old retired Mennonite farmer/minister David Unrau. Unrau will star as legendary Greek hero […]

Unger Suspicion

US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce

July 19, 2026

TEHRAN, IRAN The United States has hit Iran with the most dangerous weapon in its arsenal: Taco Bell lettuce. “If you don’t open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, we’re going to bombard you with Taco […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Allows Dancing Now that Everyone Has to Keep Six Feet Apart
    March 25, 2020
  • Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans
    November 7, 2025
  • Top 10 Most Amazing Mennonite Albums Found at the Local MCC Store
    November 24, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Baker Has Long List of People He Refuses to Bake Cakes For
    June 5, 2018
  • ‘Summer McIntosh Borscht’: Mennonites Rename Soup in Honour of Swimmer
    August 1, 2024
  • Mennonites React to Doug Ford’s ‘Buck a Beer’ Plan
    May 30, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • ‘Schekjbenjels of Winkler’ Calendar Becomes Hot Seller
    February 6, 2017
  • High German Mennonite Claims He’s Not Actually All That High
    May 18, 2024
  • Massive Miriam Toews Statue to Be Erected in Steinbach
    May 19, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Sells His Toronto Raptors Seat to Buy $400,000 Combine
    May 28, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave
    July 12, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest
    July 9, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now
    April 30, 2022
  • Mr. Smith is Asked “You’re Not From Around Here, Are You?” Every Single Day of His Life
    December 5, 2016
  • Mennonite Disaster Volunteers Brought in to Fix Ticketmaster
    November 28, 2022
  • Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk
    June 23, 2026
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Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke

July 18, 2026

Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate

July 16, 2026

Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again

July 15, 2026

Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026

Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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