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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB After apparently being absolutely petrified of playing in Winnipeg tonight, New Jersey Devils goalie Connor Hellebyuck will instead be eating a Jets Dog from the stands while little Timmy Wiebe of the Rosenort […]

Unger Suspicion

Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB When a new Winnipeg restaurant announced this week they would be prohibiting children under 15 from dining at their establishment, thousands of furious Winnipeggers took to the streets to demand not only that […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor
    August 29, 2018
  • Winkler Area Church to Meet in Bouncy Castle
    February 22, 2022
  • Church Puppets Shock Congregation by Appearing Completely Naked
    November 5, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Riot in Rural Manitoba After Fall Supper Runs Out of Meatballs
    September 23, 2024
  • Entire House Filled with Aroma of Farmer Sausage
    December 23, 2022
  • Mysterious Jars in Cellar Turn Out to Contain Oma’s Delicious Green Bean Soup
    November 30, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • The Top 50 Most Common Mennonite Surnames
    September 29, 2017
  • Mennonite Population Completely Unaffected by Global Cyberattack
    May 15, 2017
  • 2020 Knipsbrat League Standings
    December 16, 2020
  • Rare Plautdietsch Dictionary Nets $2.3 Million at Sotheby’s Auction
    January 29, 2018

Trending

  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026
  • Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese
    October 31, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa
    October 29, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • King Solomon to Undergo Wisdom Tooth Surgery
    May 13, 2019
  • Census Shows 96% of Canadian Men are Named Gord
    July 1, 2022
  • Ricky Gervais Roasts “Mennonite Elites” at Annual Sunday School Attendance Awards
    January 8, 2020
  • Manitoba Hill Masquerades as “Mountain”
    July 12, 2020
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Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate

November 4, 2026

Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change

November 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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