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The Daily Bonnet

Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island

February 14, 2026

LA CRETE, AB The Wiebes of Winkler were planning for a nice warm beach vacation this winter and wound up in La Crete, Alberta instead. “There are plenty of reasons to visit La Crete,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

February 13, 2026

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Rempels of Abbotsford plant to celebrate Valentine’s Day in style this weekend by ordering the very cheapest items on the menu at Ricky’s. “Oba, I guess no Brekkie-bowl for me,” said Mrs. […]

Unger Conviction

  • For Some Reason Worship Leader Just Can’t Seem to Worship the Lord Without His $4000 Taylor
    June 29, 2020
  • New ‘Transformers’ Movie to Feature Mennonites Who Are One Way on Sunday and Totally Different the Rest of the Week
    December 8, 2021
  • That Hymn 606 Sure Gets Around
    September 21, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Keeps Fork, Dessert Doesn’t Come
    June 5, 2018
  • Dentyne Gum Fails to Mask Aroma of Cigarettes on Mennonite Woman’s Breath
    May 21, 2019
  • Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving
    October 12, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Dad Kills Deer With the Car, Tells Horrified Children ‘Bambi’s Just Having Meddachschlop’
    December 10, 2016
  • Hundreds of Expired Chicken Chef Coupons Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Wallet
    October 10, 2022
  • Local Restaurant Prefers Canoes to Mennonites
    February 20, 2017
  • Uncouth Manitoban Carries Umbrella with Him All Over Abbotsford
    October 11, 2022

Trending

  • Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’
    February 3, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026
  • Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina
    January 31, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Groundhog Predicts All Satire Sites to Make ‘Jungian Shadow’ Jokes Today
    February 2, 2023
  • A List of Things Hipsters Stole from Mennonites
    September 25, 2017
  • Protestors Demand that Taylor Swift Get Around in this 1987 Plymouth
    March 14, 2024
  • Joel Osteen Releases New ‘Red Letter Edition’ of His Latest Book
    February 24, 2020
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White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island

February 11, 2026

Americans Furious About All-Plautdietsch Halftime Show

February 10, 2026

Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters

February 9, 2026

Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show

February 8, 2026

Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses

February 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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