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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Toews was so thoroughly embarrassed with her failure to add star anise to her chicken soup at the soup and pie fundraiser this past week that she has vowed never to make […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

SWIFT CURRENT, SK It’s taken him more than four decades, but local music fan Steve Goosen has finally re-purchased all the albums he tossed on the bonfire at that fateful youth retreat back in 1979. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Southern Baptists Aim to Have More Dysfunctional Infighting than the Mennonites by 2024
    June 19, 2023
  • 90% of Heavy Metal Bands Fronted by Pastors’ Sons
    September 10, 2017
  • Man Who Attends Gender Segregated Church Really Upset About Not Being Allowed to Go Where He Wants to Go and Do What He Wants to Do
    September 25, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Child Opens Lunch Box to Find a Lard Sandwich Yet Again Today
    May 10, 2019
  • Muffins “Baked with Love” Still a Little Bland
    July 9, 2019
  • Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt
    April 2, 2026

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Altona Bride Walks Up the Aisle to Herb Alpert’s “Spanish Flea”
    September 5, 2021
  • The Proper Pronunciation of Common Russian Mennonite Surnames
    December 30, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Lives the Exact Same Day Over and Over and Over
    February 2, 2017
  • Ten Extremely Menno Texts My Wife Has Sent Me (This is real!)
    March 12, 2019

Trending

  • 8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw
    August 2, 2026
  • Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’
    August 1, 2026
  • Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score
    July 31, 2026
  • Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas
    July 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Justin Bieber Buys Vacation Home in Elkhart, Indiana
    September 3, 2016
  • Mastercard Introduces New Dave Ramsey Themed Credit Card
    August 21, 2024
  • School Children in Waterloo, Ontario Required to Sing ABBA Song Every Morning
    October 22, 2019
  • Blue Bombers Proudly Hoist ‘Sunday School Attendance’ Trophy
    November 18, 2018
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Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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