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Unger & Thirst

Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026

LAS VEGAS, NV The inaugural Enhanced Games in Las Vegas this week will allow athletes from around the world to compete under the influence of summa borscht. “It’s the first of its kind to allow […]

Unger the Influence

Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026

OTTAWA, ON Prime Minister Mark Carney has decided to raze more than 72 million acres of old growth forest in the province of British Columbia this week just to make sure every man, woman, and […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Converts JWs at the Front Door
    January 5, 2018
  • Grandchildren Completely Baffled by Oma’s Gesangbuch
    December 16, 2018
  • Report: 97% of Mennonites Still Refer to ‘Mennonite Church’ as ‘General Conference’
    September 25, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man to Livestream Exclusive Performance of ‘The Nutcracker’
    December 22, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Meets His Buddies at the Pub for a Few Pints
    August 17, 2019
  • Wine Ninjas Accidentally Deliver to Mennonite Woman
    May 18, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026
  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026
  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Wakes Up Bright and Early to Get in a Full Day of Quality Puttering
    April 10, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Thinks His Specific Brand of Mennonites is Representative of All Mennonites
    January 25, 2025
  • House Fails to Warm Up After Mennonite Man Puts on the Fireplace Channel
    January 14, 2024
  • Winklerites Furious as Morden Woman Elected Leader
    February 3, 2022

Trending

  • Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout
    May 19, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour
    May 17, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba
    May 15, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Car Manages to Stay Clean for a Record Two Minutes After Leaving Car Wash
    March 15, 2024
  • Mennonite Superhero ‘Barkman’ Saves the Day!
    September 4, 2019
  • Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done
    March 13, 2019
  • Marty McFly Goes Back 30 Years to the Mysterious World of 1994
    January 5, 2024
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Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026

Ed Sullivan Theatre to Be Demolished and Replaced with Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech

May 22, 2026

Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

May 21, 2026

Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund

May 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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