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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’

March 27, 2026

PASTWA, MB A local snowman was shunned this week for setting a bad example for the young people of the congregation by dressing immodestly. “There he is out in the yard without any clothes on yet,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows

March 25, 2026

INWOOD, MB Area man Steve Driedger was under the mistaken impression that something called “Net Flix” would include a lot of fishing shows. “But alas, poor Yorick, there was nuscht,” said Driedger. “All it is […]

Unger Conviction

  • Missionaries Discover New Position
    January 13, 2017
  • Church Basement Chair Recruited To Help Change Lightbulb
    August 16, 2024
  • ‘Reverse Lent’ Begins Today for Devout Mennonites
    March 1, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • iPhone Severely Damaged After Spending Afternoon in Pocket Full of Zoat
    April 23, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Sells Margarine Container to Elon Musk for $44 Billion
    April 29, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Insists Server Who is Just Doing Her Job is Flirting With Him
    October 18, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Hilarious New Show Features Leading Anabaptist Scholars in ‘Drunk Mennonite History’
    October 21, 2020
  • Local Bible College Records First Nasty Breakup of the Year
    September 1, 2024
  • Boats Full of “Persecuted Mennonite Refugees” Fleeing Trivial Nuisances in Canada
    July 25, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Watches 72 Consecutive Hours of Hoof Trimming Videos
    July 18, 2024

Trending

  • Local Gas Station to Offer Free Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase
    March 18, 2026
  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight
    March 16, 2026
  • Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year
    March 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • “Skibidi Toilet” Added to Oxford English Dictionary
    July 2, 2024
  • Tom Brady Signs Massive $50 Million Geritol Endorsement Deal
    March 16, 2021
  • Morden Honours Local Star Loreena McKennitt with Totally Epic Corn Maze
    August 25, 2018
  • Brave Kangaroo Carries Mennonite Tourists to Safety
    July 19, 2017
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Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says

March 24, 2026

‘KPop Dueck Hunters’ Number One Movie on Mennonite Netflix

March 23, 2026

Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight

March 21, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque

March 20, 2026

Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

March 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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