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Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026

CHICAGO, IL After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

Unger Conviction

  • Thousands of Mennonites Miss Church Due to Time Change
    March 12, 2017
  • Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots
    October 27, 2018
  • Congregation Shocked as Guitarist Snaps a G String
    June 25, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies
    August 31, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup
    October 30, 2019
  • Chips Blamed for Kicker’s Accuracy Problems
    June 7, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Peace Talks in Winkler-Morden Move Toward ‘Two-State Solution’
    February 2, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Spends Entire Grey Cup Reading Daily Bonnet Articles
    December 12, 2021
  • La Crete, Alberta Declared “Mennonite Capital of the North”
    December 27, 2018
  • Steinbach Couple Claims to Be From Winnipeg While Travelling
    September 9, 2016

Trending

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Tom Cochrane Will Attempt to Get Mennonites to Sing Along to Rock Songs Tonight
    June 17, 2017
  • Tom Brady Signs Massive $50 Million Geritol Endorsement Deal
    March 16, 2021
  • Ken Ham and Kent Hovind to Guest Star in Series Finale of ‘The Big Bang Theory’
    September 2, 2018
  • Angry Mennonite Hockey Fan Can’t Figure Out “Waut de schissjat is wrong with those Jats yet!”
    April 7, 2019
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High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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