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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

ALTONA, MB Area woman Theresa Bueckert decided she’d change things up a little and add raisins to her bun dough this week. The results were, as expected, disastrous. “Oba, what was I thinking?” said Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

FOXBOROUGH, MA Soft pop rock singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has dropped a Mennonite choir from his North American tour after finding out they were pacifists. “I don’t like to get political,” said Sheeran, “but when I […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor
    August 29, 2018
  • Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans
    November 7, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Accidentally Attends English Service After Sleeping In and Missing German Service
    January 19, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Winkler Supermarket Starts Selling Liquor to Convince Mennonites to Cover Their Faces
    January 20, 2022
  • 8 Easy Mennonite Recipes for Your Hockey Playoff Parties
    May 5, 2018
  • Entire House Filled with Aroma of Farmer Sausage
    December 23, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Facebook Debate About ‘Eternal Security’ Results in the Condemnation of Millions
    April 19, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Mows Lawn Only Slightly More Frequently than He Shaves
    August 1, 2018
  • A Collection of Daily Bonnet Christmas Articles
    November 14, 2017
  • 5 Worst Mennonite Jokes of All Time
    May 18, 2025

Trending

  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC
    September 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money
    September 9, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Embarrassed Manitoba Premier Seeks Treatment for Premature Election
    June 19, 2019
  • Trey Parker and Matt Stone Convert to Mormonism
    July 7, 2016
  • Joel Osteen Releases New ‘Red Letter Edition’ of His Latest Book
    February 24, 2020
  • John Tortorella Hires Mennonites to Shun Patrik Laine
    March 12, 2021
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Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU

September 16, 2026

Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team

September 15, 2026

Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards

September 14, 2026

Unger Games

  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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