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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque

March 20, 2026

BLUMENORT, AB Area man Peter Dueck used the equity on his pea farm to buy over a million dollars of fuel at the local Co-op this past year, hoping for a really awesome dividend cheque in spring. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

March 19, 2026

LA CRETE, AB A visiting couple from southern Manitoba made a shocking discovery in La Crete, Alberta this week: strawberries on vereniki. “Nah, oba, I’ve never even heard of such,” said Andrew Unger of Steinbach. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Bans Google Chrome
    November 29, 2017
  • Streaker Disrupts Mennonite Church Service
    June 6, 2017
  • Google Maps Error Leads Rosenort Couple to Southland Mall in Winkler
    March 15, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Breaks His Vow of Pacifism to Defend the Last Can of Pepsi
    October 16, 2016
  • Biden Weighs Nationwide Ban on Gassy Mennonite Food
    January 13, 2023
  • Bruce Springsteen’s Plumi Moos Deemed “A Little Dry”
    May 20, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Gets His Kicks on Route 606
    June 23, 2021
  • ’25 Minutes to Steinbach’ Sign Fails to Withstand Scientific Testing
    April 3, 2017
  • Kitchener Man Finally Meets His Waterloo
    May 5, 2021
  • Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    March 3, 2026

Trending

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel
    March 10, 2026
  • McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product
    March 8, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • ‘Amish Village at Night’ as Seen from International Space Station
    May 9, 2020
  • Child Confuses Amazon Driver for Santa Claus
    December 22, 2022
  • Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies
    December 11, 2025
  • Canadian Football League to Add Third Team Named ‘Rough Riders’
    June 21, 2017
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Local Gas Station to Offer Free Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase

March 18, 2026

Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz

March 17, 2026

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight

March 16, 2026

Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year

March 14, 2026

Subway Opens in La Broquerie

March 12, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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