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Unger Suspicion

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

FOXBOROUGH, MA Soft pop rock singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has dropped a Mennonite choir from his North American tour after finding out they were pacifists. “I don’t like to get political,” said Sheeran, “but when I […]

Unger Conviction

Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

BAULKHAM HILLS, AUSTRALIA Pastor Dave of Waters of Blessing megachurch in New South Wales, Australia is apologizing to the congregation, and the choir behind him, after preaching an hourlong sermon while suffering from a particularly […]

Unger Conviction

  • Young Mennonite Yells ‘OK Boomer’ During Pastor’s Sermon
    November 14, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Confesses to Photoshopping Church Directory Photos
    February 1, 2018
  • Local Old Colony Church Experiments with Overhead Projector
    April 19, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mysterious New Condiment Perplexes Mennonite Diners
    September 27, 2024
  • Mennonite Leftover Rice Pudding: A Daily Bonnet Recipe
    January 2, 2021
  • Winnipeg Police Seize Mennonite Woman’s Basket of Chanterelles
    May 21, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Diagnosed with Gas Problem
    March 19, 2022
  • Mr. Toews Realizes He’s Been Saying His Own Name Wrong This Whole Time
    May 18, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Retires Tobbdüak After Thirty Years of Service
    July 9, 2021
  • Mennonite Couple to Replace Harry and Meghan at Buckingham Palace
    January 13, 2020

Trending

  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC
    September 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money
    September 9, 2026
  • New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size
    September 8, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonites React to Arrival of Amish in Manitoba
    November 9, 2017
  • Huge Crowd for Kate Bowler has People Thinking Taylor Swift is in Town
    February 15, 2024
  • Bloated Gassy Tourist Rushes for Nearest ‘Ausfahrt’
    January 24, 2025
  • Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island
    August 22, 2026
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Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU

September 16, 2026

Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team

September 15, 2026

Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards

September 14, 2026

Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’

September 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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