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Unger Suspicion

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Dorothy Wiebe of Altona was the last senior in town not to get sprayed with a water gun this week and has been crowned winner of Senior Assassin 2026. “I knew they […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Klaas Siemens of Rosenort was in the city this week and decided to stop at his favourite restaurant Mongo’s Grill, where he set a new record for successfully piling the most ingredients into […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Accused of Flipping Off the Pastor
    November 9, 2023
  • Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools
    March 15, 2019
  • Mennonite Church Buys Out Last Year of Pastor’s $40,000 Contract
    June 30, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Retiring Teacher Quickly Consumes 30 Years Worth of Apples
    June 29, 2017
  • Jaws of Life Required to Extract Red Candy from Oma’s Candy Bowl
    December 28, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Enjoys Delicious Steaming Cup of Pripps
    December 11, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Grandpa Wiebe Knipses Twelve Twenties in a Row
    December 22, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Buys Back Her Own Clothes at the MCC Store
    March 1, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Spends All Day Tracking Her Amazon Package
    December 21, 2020
  • Festive Mennonite Couple Fills House to the Brim with Totally Useless Shit
    December 13, 2017

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman’s Algorithm Nothing But Vereniki
    May 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Former Manitobans Now Outnumber Albertans in Alberta
    September 23, 2019
  • Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now
    April 30, 2022
  • Embarrassing New Photos Catch Casey and Finnegan at Nudist Colony
    April 29, 2021
  • Perfumer Releases New ‘Urine and Weed’ Scent in Tribute to New York City
    October 15, 2024
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Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids

May 7, 2026

Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh

May 6, 2026

Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor

May 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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