The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB After apparently being absolutely petrified of playing in Winnipeg tonight, New Jersey Devils goalie Connor Hellebyuck will instead be eating a Jets Dog from the stands while little Timmy Wiebe of the Rosenort […]

Unger Suspicion

Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB When a new Winnipeg restaurant announced this week they would be prohibiting children under 15 from dining at their establishment, thousands of furious Winnipeggers took to the streets to demand not only that […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans
    November 7, 2025
  • Deceased Members of “One True Church” Find Heaven Super Lonely
    November 27, 2020
  • Emergency Backup Preacher Fills In for Injured Senior Pastor
    February 25, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Steinbachers Mourn the Loss of Taco Bell
    April 19, 2017
  • Bruce Springsteen’s Plumi Moos Deemed “A Little Dry”
    May 20, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Totally Immune to the Corona Virus
    January 29, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Who would win? 100 Mennonites or a Gorilla?
    May 4, 2025
  • Fact Check: Are you more likely to die from Dutch Blitz than a shark attack?
    May 11, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Seeks Treatment for Her Hallmark Christmas Movie Addiction
    November 22, 2019
  • Why is Loewen pronounced “Low-en” and Toews pronounced “Taves”?
    February 1, 2025

Trending

  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026
  • Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese
    October 31, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa
    October 29, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Winnipeg Jets Trade for the Wrong Toews
    January 23, 2023
  • Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company
    May 8, 2019
  • Pallister to Live Out the Rest of His Days in Quaint Central American Colony
    September 2, 2021
  • Paul McCartney Shows Up at Mennonite Wedding
    October 2, 2018
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate

November 4, 2026

Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change

November 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved