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Unger Games

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Inspired by goalie Connor Helleybuyck and quarterback Dieter Brock, the entire population of Winnipeg has requested a trade out of Winnipeg. “If I knew it was that easy, I would have done this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

BLUMENORT, MB After extensive traffic studies on Highway 12 north of Steinbach this summer, the Manitoba Road Authority has decided to designate the left lane to be used exclusively by families driving excruciatingly slow and/or […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Claims ‘Prophetic Gift’ After Predicting Rain this May Long Weekend
    May 21, 2017
  • Retailers Quick to Cash In as Foot Washing Becomes Latest Gen Z Trend
    February 17, 2024
  • Long-winded Mennonite Pastor Blamed for Burnt Sunday Roast
    September 29, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Shames Restaurant by Weighing Farmer Sausage to Prove it’s Underweight
    August 1, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Opts for Incontinental Breakfast
    October 16, 2023
  • Chef Gordon Ramsay Has Absolutely No Criticism for Mennonite Girls
    September 21, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Father Tortures Family By Taking a Ride to the Country to Look at the Crops
    August 16, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Creates World’s Longest Mexican Chain
    July 4, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Renounces Genealogy After Connection to Homer Simpson is Discovered
    November 4, 2016
  • ‘Acting like an idiot’: Mennonite Driver Clocked at Just 2.32 km/hr on Trans-Canada Highway
    October 19, 2018

Trending

  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards
    September 14, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • This Toronto-Area Shed Just Sold for $600,000 Over Asking Price
    April 27, 2021
  • Biblical Fiery Furnace Located in Southern Manitoba
    June 20, 2022
  • Anne of Green Gables Adopted by Mennonite Family
    April 2, 2017
  • Mennonites Unimpressed With Ken Ham’s Replica Ark
    December 6, 2016
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Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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