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Unger Games

Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026

MILAN, ITALY Just minutes after Team USA goaltender Connor Hellebuyck single-handedly won an Olympic gold for his team, he sent a message to reassure Winnipeg Jets fans he won’t ever play that well again. “Certainly […]

Unger Games

Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2026

MILAN, ITALY It didn’t take long and about fifty silver medals belonging to the Canadian men’s and women’s hockey teams have been discovered at the thrift store in Schanzenfeld, Manitoba. “Yeah, we’ll put them on […]

Unger Conviction

  • Meet the ‘Steinbach Reads’ 2022 Contenders: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John
    April 25, 2022
  • Mennonite Pastor Unfazed by Fly on Her Face the Entire Service
    October 8, 2020
  • The Daily Bonnet Asks: Can You Be Both Christian and Rich?
    June 11, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Leaves Record $0.10 Tip at Local Diner
    June 13, 2016
  • Italian Canadians Object to Trudeau’s New Carbonara Tax
    October 29, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Generously Splurges on Dessert at Local Pub
    February 27, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026
  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Entire City of Steinbach Baptized this Week
    September 15, 2025
  • Clingy Mennonite Aunt Making Tally of All the Hugs You’ll Owe Her When This is Over
    April 5, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Writes Cheque for 63 Cents
    April 18, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Mistakes Huge Miriam Toews Crowd for Billy Graham Crusade
    October 16, 2025

Trending

  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026
  • Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island
    February 14, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu
    February 13, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadian Woman Turns to Pillar of Salt After Failing to Apply Adequate Levels of Moisturizer
    November 23, 2018
  • Metalheads Accidentally Attend Beth Moore Event
    December 3, 2022
  • Rembrandt Painting Has Been Hanging Upside Down for 400 Years
    October 30, 2022
  • Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company
    May 8, 2019
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Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey

February 21, 2026

James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review

February 19, 2026

Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone

February 18, 2026

Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning

February 17, 2026

I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found

February 16, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026
  • Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey
    February 21, 2026
  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026
  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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