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The Daily Bonnet

8 Mennonite Families from Mexico Establish New Colony on Moon

April 1, 2026

CAMPO 606, MOON More than 50 years after the Englishers did it, 8 Mennonites families from Mexico have finally landed on the moon, where they quickly established their most remote colony yet. “That’s one small […]

Unger Suspicion

Spring Arrives in Manitoba

March 31, 2026

INWOOD, MB Manitobans across the province were excited to welcome the arrival of spring this week. “Ahh, such a beautiful Manitoba spring,” said Mrs. Pankratz of Inwood as she slid on her Sorrels and slush […]

Unger Conviction

  • Man Arrested for Scalping Tickets to Megachurch Service
    February 1, 2017
  • Massive Usher Shortage Shuts Down Mennonite Church this Summer
    July 16, 2023
  • 10 Totally Bogus Religious Exemptions You Can Demand Right Now!
    October 29, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman’s ‘Margarine Tarts’ Fail to Impress
    May 16, 2019
  • Mennonite Man to Livestream Exclusive Performance of ‘The Nutcracker’
    December 22, 2020
  • Winkler Vegans Make Exception for Farmer Sausage
    October 16, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • New TV Show ‘Cash Buggy’ Offers Riders a Chance to Win Money While on the Way to Church
    October 20, 2018
  • Mennonite Women Concerned Daughter Might Be In Some Sort of Cult
    January 22, 2022
  • Welcome to Steinbach, Parade Capital of Canada
    July 29, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Almost Fornicates With His Own Wife
    April 19, 2017

Trending

  • ‘KPop Dueck Hunters’ Number One Movie on Mennonite Netflix
    March 23, 2026
  • Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight
    March 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque
    March 20, 2026
  • Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki
    March 19, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets
    January 9, 2026
  • After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied
    December 16, 2017
  • Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year
    October 22, 2023
  • Justin Trudeau Among 313 Canadians Banned from “Going Anywhere Near Alberta”
    March 18, 2022
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La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level

March 30, 2026

Winnipeg Construction Crews Busy Installing Fresh New Potholes

March 29, 2026

Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’

March 27, 2026

Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows

March 25, 2026

Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says

March 24, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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