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Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026

CHICAGO, IL After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

Unger Conviction

  • That Hymn 606 Sure Gets Around
    September 21, 2021
  • Mennonite Hymn Reaches #1 After Inclusion on ‘Stranger Things’
    April 10, 2024
  • Blessed are the Peacemakers
    November 11, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Frustrated Mennonite Man Still Waiting for His Cookies
    April 28, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Spotted with Crown Royal Bag
    May 17, 2018
  • Winkler Man Caught at Morden Bar
    May 1, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Children Walk In On Parents Having Meddachschlop
    December 28, 2016
  • Totally Normal Steinbach Bungalow to be Preserved at Local Museum
    November 21, 2016
  • 5 Things Mennonites Can Watch Instead of the Super Bowl
    February 4, 2018
  • 7 Naughty Mennonite Emojis (and What They Really Mean)
    February 6, 2021

Trending

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Abe Claims Landslide Victory in Japanese Election
    October 24, 2017
  • Edmonton Area Pastor Sworn in as New Alberta Health Minister
    April 13, 2021
  • Gentlemen’s Club Shockingly Bereft of Any Gentlemen
    November 24, 2024
  • Mennonite Hockey Players Forbidden from Completing ‘Gordie Howe Hat Trick’
    June 12, 2016
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High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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