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Unger & Thirst

Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year

April 24, 2026

MORDEN, MB Area man Paul Goertzen has decided he’s going to beat everyone else to the punch this year and put up his corn stand at the end of April. “Come get your sweet delicious […]

Unger & Thirst

Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch

April 23, 2026

SELKIRK, MB Local accountant Bobby Hamm of Selkirk says he’s sick and tired of hiding his true identity and will be known as Bobby Schinkjefleisch from now on. “It was time,” said Schinkjefleisch. “I’ve been […]

Unger Conviction

  • Report: 97% of Mennonites Still Refer to ‘Mennonite Church’ as ‘General Conference’
    September 25, 2020
  • Mennonite Couple Sits Through 3.5 Hours of Avatar But Can’t Handle 20 Minute Sermon
    January 28, 2023
  • Mennonite Pastor Scores with 1.6 Seconds Left Sending Sermon into Double Overtime
    May 5, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Man Unleashes String of Profanity After Being Served Roll Kuchen Without Corn Syrup
    August 16, 2016
  • Mennonite Couple Enjoys Romantic Late Night Supper at 4:30 in the Afternoon
    September 3, 2019
  • Medium Salsa Proves Far Too Spicy for Mennonite Man
    August 23, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Saskatchewan City to be Renamed ‘Taylor Swift Current’
    August 27, 2025
  • Why that Mennonite Boy is Not Texting You Back
    May 9, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Works His Usual 18 Hours on Labour Day
    September 5, 2016
  • Steinbach Man Waits 3 Years for Bus that Never Comes
    May 1, 2024

Trending

  • Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler
    April 15, 2026
  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026
  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church
    April 12, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Man Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for Lasting All 20 Seasons Without Watching the Kardashians
    June 15, 2021
  • Local Reeve to be Vaccinated Against Wacko Conspiracy Theories
    December 11, 2020
  • Canadians Forced to Winter in Canada this Year
    October 14, 2020
  • Counting Crows Launch New Fragrance ‘The Smell of Hospitals in Winter’
    December 27, 2023
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Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody

April 22, 2026

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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