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Unger Suspicion

Musk Tries Desperately to Squeeze Camel Through Eye of This Needle

June 14, 2026

STARBASE, TX Hours after becoming the world’s first trillionaire, Elon Musk was spotted desperately trying to squeeze his pet camel Jacob through the eye of Mrs. Siemens’s sewing needle. “I’m putting all my top engineers […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man with Million-dollar Tractor Stakes a Stand Against “Pride”

June 13, 2026

WINKLER, MB With Pembina Valley Pride hosting their first ever rally in Winkler this afternoon, some locals are upset, saying that even the name of the organization is a problem. “I mean, people can live […]

Unger Conviction

  • Faith Healer Offers Monthly Payment Plan
    January 10, 2025
  • Local Church Distributes Free Manure
    July 16, 2022
  • Mennonite Pastor Dresses Up as Lutheran this Morning
    October 31, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Why Canada is Unlocking Its Vault of Rogers Golden Syrup
    December 2, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Introduces New ‘Dunkel’ Schmaunt Fat
    September 27, 2023
  • Area Man Receives a Bag of Ten Thousand Villages Coffee from Every Single Guest at His Birthday Party
    January 22, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Cruisers to Have Exclusive Access to Steinbach Main Street on Friday Nights
    May 5, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Finally Has Something to be Truly ‘Holier Than Thou’ About
    January 2, 2020
  • The Proper Pronunciation of Common Russian Mennonite Surnames
    December 30, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Sprays WD-40 on His Achey Elbow
    July 15, 2021

Trending

  • Road Crews Really Busy This Summer Putting Out Pylons
    June 6, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Installs New Inground Pool
    June 4, 2026
  • Adventurous Manitoban Drives Right to the Top of Province’s Highest Mountain
    June 3, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly
    June 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Long-Suffering Vegas Knights Fan Finally Sees His Team Win the Cup
    April 10, 2018
  • For Some Strange Reason Canadians are Really Excited About A Foreign Country’s Presidential Election
    October 26, 2016
  • An Exclusive Interview with the Notorious ‘Alberta Clipper’
    February 12, 2018
  • Lineup for Women’s Washroom Stretches 10 Miles
    April 12, 2023
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Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties

June 12, 2026

Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday

June 11, 2026

Ottawa to Ban Social Media for Kids and Replace it with Hinterland Who’s Who

June 10, 2026

Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies

June 9, 2026

Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight

June 7, 2026

Unger Games

  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026
  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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