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Unger Suspicion

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA School districts across the United States have banned controversial Margaret Atwood novel The Handmaid’s Tale for containing “disturbing Canadian content.” “We have to protect our kids from reading Canadian literature,” said local parent Tiffany […]

Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

Unger Conviction

  • ‘Reverse Lent’ Begins Today for Devout Mennonites
    March 1, 2017
  • Children Terrified as Puppets Launch into Fiery ‘Hell and Damnation’ Sermon
    August 17, 2018
  • Anabaptist Seminary Graduates a Record Five Calvinists
    April 22, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Schmaunt Fat Confused for Waffle Sauce
    June 20, 2024
  • Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month
    October 15, 2019
  • Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta
    September 20, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites are Turning their Old Laine Jerseys into Quilts
    January 24, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Translates Low German Joke for Englishers, No One Laughs
    March 26, 2019
  • Friesen Girls Have Got Those Old ‘Back to Home School’ Blues
    August 28, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Rents Colour TV to Watch Grey Cup
    November 26, 2017

Trending

  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Every Single Road Named “Worst Road in Manitoba”
    May 25, 2022
  • Sump Pump Awarded Order of Manitoba
    May 5, 2022
  • Gulf of Mexico Becomes Latest Victim of Cancel Culture
    January 23, 2025
  • Rumspringa 2021 Not Nearly as Wild as Amish Boy was Hoping For
    March 3, 2021
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Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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