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Unger the Influence

Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

EDMONTON, AB A referendum later this month will have Albertans voting on whether they should vote on if they should vote on if they should vote on separation. “We tried to make things as clear […]

Unger the Influence

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Moments after announcing they’d be bringing back public executions, US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth introduced a snazzy new video game to share the experience with kids. “The kids just love video games,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Church Allowed to Reopen After Agreeing to Host Sunday Morning Floor Hockey Tournaments
    January 13, 2021
  • Winkler Church Raises Money to Send Missionaries to Morden
    October 11, 2016
  • Steinbach Streets Clogged at 9:30 AM on a Sunday
    August 1, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Winkler Vegans Make Exception for Farmer Sausage
    October 16, 2021
  • Despair Strikes Mennonite Man After Fruitless Search for Ketchup
    January 25, 2023
  • Man 3-D Prints Every Recipe in the Mennonite Treasury Cookbook
    July 31, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Town Eagerly Anticipates Spanish Man’s Arrival
    April 9, 2017
  • Mennonite Men Clamour to Buy Discount Flowers Two Days After Valentine’s Day
    February 16, 2023
  • Mennonites Rush to Get Their Cars Outside During Hail Storm
    June 15, 2018
  • Mennonite Novelist Irma Voth Pens New Novel Called ‘Miriam Toews’
    January 11, 2019

Trending

  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026
  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026
  • Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan
    September 26, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • United States Senate to Perform at Super Bowl Halftime Show
    February 1, 2020
  • Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now
    April 30, 2022
  • Winnipeg Man Gets 20 Years in Prison for Stealing A&W Mug
    March 29, 2019
  • Passengers Rush to Board ‘Super Safe’ Flight with 99% Survival Rate
    December 5, 2020
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FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season

October 5, 2026

Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican

October 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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