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Unger & Thirst

Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki

June 28, 2026

LEAMINGTON, ON Moments after Leamington’s own Stephen Eustáquio scored the game-winning goal for Canada this afternoon, the ladies at the local Mennonite church were busy rolling out the dough for the world’s largest vereniki. “And […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round

June 27, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets sent shockwaves across the hockey world this afternoon after selecting Icelandic music superstar Björk in the first round of the draft this year. “We’ve been scouting her for a while,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Group Hires Private Investigator to Follow Around the Klassens
    July 30, 2021
  • Conservative Mennonite Church Accidentally Elects Female Elder
    March 5, 2017
  • Military Called In to Prevent Mennonite Woman from Getting Behind the Pulpit
    June 28, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Caught Distributing Yerba Mate on Halloween
    November 1, 2022
  • Introducing the Seattle Knackin’
    July 23, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Caught Skipping Family Gathering to Hang Out at The Public
    August 12, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Homeschoolers Add Crokinole to their Core Curriculum
    April 25, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Worried Trump May Try to Capture Her Essential Oils
    January 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Church Packs Basement to Sing Hymns and Watch ‘Die Hard’
    December 20, 2023
  • Top Ten Dangers of Living in a Mennonite Town
    November 7, 2018

Trending

  • Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff
    June 21, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Ovechkin Gifts Putin with Record-Setting Puck
    December 27, 2022
  • Man in Cheetos-Stained Boxer Shorts Appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets
    September 17, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Still ‘Feeling the Bern’
    May 23, 2016
  • Elon Musk Offers Free Cybertruck to Any Left-wingers Willing to Stay on Twitter
    April 18, 2022
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Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning

June 27, 2026

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026

300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank

June 25, 2026

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

June 24, 2026

Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk

June 23, 2026

Unger Games

  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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