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Unger Games

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC In his most emphatic statement to date, US President Donald Trump has told Iranian authorities to give up because he holds all the Dutch Blitz cards. “I’ve got all the cards. All the […]

Unger Suspicion

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Dorothy Wiebe of Altona was the last senior in town not to get sprayed with a water gun this week and has been crowned winner of Senior Assassin 2026. “I knew they […]

Unger Conviction

  • Time Between Ceremony and Reception Extended to Torture Wedding Guests
    September 21, 2019
  • MKs Totally Destroy PKs in First Annual Church Kid Olympics
    July 24, 2020
  • Mennonite Supreme Court Rules Life Begins at Baptism
    June 25, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • A Calorie Guide to Mennonite Cooking
    September 16, 2017
  • How To Knack Your Zoat While Wearing A Mask
    May 24, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Finds Romance in the Sausage Aisle at Zehrs
    July 29, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Homeschool Sex Ed Lesson Goes Terribly Wrong
    April 9, 2020
  • Manitoba Reports First Case of Broeskypox
    May 21, 2022
  • Daily Bonnet Launches New Satire Site for the Hypersensitive and Easily Offended
    March 9, 2018
  • Adventurous Mennonite Couple Discovers a Whole World Beyond St. Vital Centre
    February 26, 2017

Trending

  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • 2018 FIFA Mennonite World Cup Rankings
    June 14, 2018
  • Manitobans Required to Lounge Around in Towels and Pretend the Whole Province is One Big Sauna
    July 22, 2022
  • Angry White Man Reports on All the Horrible Atrocities Facing Angry White Men These Days
    June 6, 2021
  • Monsieur Hebert is Sick and Tired of Being Called “Mr. Hiebert”
    January 11, 2021
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Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids

May 7, 2026

Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh

May 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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