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Unger the Influence

Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund

May 20, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House just announced this week they’d be creating a $1.8 billion slush fund, specifically designed to provide Trump and his buddies with a neverending supply of 7-11 Slurpees. “I’ve hand-selected a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout

May 19, 2026

LANDMARK, MB Landmark woman Mrs. Plett (of course) was eager to try out the new roundabout just as construction is beginning and has already gotten herself trapped in a never ending loop. “This doesn’t bode […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Falls Way Behind on Her Devotions
    March 20, 2019
  • Editorial: ‘I Think the Lord Would Approve of Our Church Split’
    December 2, 2016
  • “Hymn 606 is Over-rated,” Declares Mennonite Hipster
    April 1, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Young Man Swears Off Farmer Sausage When He Discovers the Truth About Natural Casings
    February 27, 2017
  • Knackzoat Found in Last Summer’s Jean Shorts “Still Perfectly Edible” Says Local Man
    May 5, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Scores Big on ‘Wheel of Fortune’
    October 21, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026
  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Surly Mennonite Man Plans to Ruin Christmas for All the Children at Church Tonight
    December 24, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Mistakes Huge Miriam Toews Crowd for Billy Graham Crusade
    October 16, 2025
  • Pennsylvania Mennonite Woman Will Absolutely Destroy You on the Volleyball Court
    September 13, 2020
  • Porch Swing Launches Mennonite Grandma into Neighbour’s Yard
    May 23, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill
    May 10, 2026
  • Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever
    May 9, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids
    May 7, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Mall Offering Free Stretcher Service for Shoppers During Holiday Season
    December 1, 2019
  • Grand Beach Declared ‘Urine Free Zone’
    July 7, 2018
  • Mennonites Demand Release of the Epsteinbach Files
    November 27, 2025
  • 90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026
    May 12, 2026
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Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup

May 18, 2026

Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour

May 17, 2026

Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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