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Unger Suspicion

Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026

BIRDS HILL PARK, MB Area man Wally Dueck, 51, made almost $200,000 selling highly-desirable spots in the shade at the Winnipeg Folk Festival this weekend. “Hey, you look a little sun-stroked there, now, don’t you?” […]

Unger Suspicion

Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO Thousands of Canadians have decided to vacation in Mexico this summer to escape the oppressive heat of Canada. “Ahhh, it’ll be so nice to get out of Winnipeg for once during the summer […]

Unger Conviction

  • Study Reveals 70% of Mennonites Don’t Know All the Dance Moves to Hymn 606
    November 11, 2018
  • Time Between Ceremony and Reception Extended to Torture Wedding Guests
    September 21, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Baptized a Third Time Just to Make Sure
    July 15, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mourners Devastated After Mennonite Funeral Runs Short on Raisin Buns
    September 5, 2019
  • Mennonite Travellers Required to Dispose of Roll Kuchen Before Boarding
    July 27, 2022
  • Billionaires Rescued from Meatball Sub
    June 21, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Baz Luhrmann Directs New Corny Rempel Biopic
    September 12, 2022
  • Mennonites Excited as Halloween is Cancelled this Year
    October 31, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Spends Ten Hours Trying to Figure Out Who Unfriended Her
    February 1, 2019
  • The Daily Bonnet Announces the Worst Contest Ever!
    September 27, 2016

Trending

  • Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year
    July 7, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List
    July 4, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Alberta Premier Calls Shirtless Dude at 7-11 “Most Persecuted Man in All of Human History”
    October 13, 2022
  • Family in Totally Perfect Photo Actually Really Messed Up
    February 21, 2019
  • Harry and Meghan Spotted at Hutterite Colony
    January 25, 2020
  • Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear
    January 27, 2026
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Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026

World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat

July 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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