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Unger Suspicion

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Moments after Canadian poet Anne Carson was announced as the winner of the 2026 Nobel Prize for Literature, a furious Donald Trump took to social media to announce his displeasure. “They’re out to […]

Unger Suspicion

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

STEINBACH, MB Steinbach, Manitoba has experienced a massive e-scooter outbreak this summer as thousands of locals have taken to the streets and sidewalks in an effort to disregard their own safety or the safety of […]

Unger Conviction

  • Felix Manz, Forgotten Second Rebaptizer, Declared “Buzz Aldrin” of the Anabaptists
    January 22, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Shaves Beard into Goatee to Become Youth Pastor
    April 24, 2017
  • Fight Breaks Out Between Winkler’s Top Two Fäasenjas 
    December 14, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Man Peter Penner Picks a Peck of Pickled Peppers
    July 6, 2016
  • McDonalds Takes McRib Off the Menu Just Long Enough for People to Forget How Terrible It Is
    March 6, 2024
  • Mourners Devastated After Mennonite Funeral Runs Short on Raisin Buns
    September 5, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026
  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026
  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Abbotsford Woman Experiences Embarrassing Bout of Garden Envy
    November 10, 2021
  • Taunte Lina Becomes Instagram Influencer
    February 16, 2021
  • Mennonites Excited for New ‘Nut Kroeker’ Ballet
    February 28, 2025
  • Schekjbenjel to Marry Malkmäakjskhe
    November 27, 2017

Trending

  • Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan
    September 26, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”
    September 22, 2026
  • Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means
    September 21, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite College Student Faints with Excitement at Hauerwas Lecture
    April 29, 2019
  • Strangely Content Bombers Fans Don’t Ask for Any Presents This Year
    December 21, 2019
  • Sparse Crowd at Nickelback Concert, Mostly Just Mennonites
    September 21, 2017
  • Putin Promises to Use “Withdrawal Method”
    January 30, 2022
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British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season

October 5, 2026

Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican

October 3, 2026

Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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