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The Daily Bonnet

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

STRATFORD, ON Another year has come and gone and once again legendary Paraguayan harpist Eduard Klassen has been left off the list for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. “It’s outrageous,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler

April 15, 2026

WINKLER, MB Angine de Poitrine, the mysterious math rock duo who has taken the Internet by storm, have kept their identities secret until now. The secret slipped this week out after the drummer was caught […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Releases Brand New List of Sins for 2022
    March 8, 2022
  • Eclipse Glasses Recommended for Sunday’s Worship Service
    August 22, 2017
  • Oba, But Winkler Already is a “Sanctuary City” Yet
    September 4, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Old Dutch Releases New ‘Rapple Chaps’
    October 12, 2020
  • Muffins “Baked with Love” Still a Little Bland
    July 9, 2019
  • Chicken Chef Coupons Finally Arrive After Month-long Strike
    December 19, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Anabaptists Gone Wild: A Mennonite Spring Break in Pictures
    March 28, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Reluctantly Agrees to Wash His Hands Once in a While to Prevent Coronavirus
    March 3, 2020
  • Supersite Workers Promise Not to Comment on Your Farmer’s Tan
    June 26, 2021
  • Local Man Sells ‘Amazing Miracle Elixir’ that Cures Gullibility
    July 12, 2021

Trending

  • Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist
    April 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet
    April 7, 2026
  • Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney
    April 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Study Suggest Satire is 20% Funnier When Drunk
    January 16, 2019
  • Flat-Earther Cites Saskatchewan as Evidence
    July 8, 2020
  • Zondervan Releases New ‘Greatest Hits’ Bible
    September 30, 2021
  • “Man does not live by bread alone”: Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Quotes Jesus to Defend Price-Fixing Scheme
    July 25, 2024
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Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026

Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church

April 12, 2026

Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil

April 11, 2026

Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event

April 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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