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Unger Games

Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again

July 15, 2026

ATLANTA, GA Mennonite soccer fans across South America were cheering against Argentina this afternoon, only for England to totally “fe’schlucke” at the last minute. “Diewel, I’ve never seen a team fe’schlucke themselves like that before,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026

BIRDS HILL PARK, MB Area man Wally Dueck, 51, made almost $200,000 selling highly-desirable spots in the shade at the Winnipeg Folk Festival this weekend. “Hey, you look a little sun-stroked there, now, don’t you?” […]

Unger Conviction

  • 90% of Heavy Metal Bands Fronted by Pastors’ Sons
    September 10, 2017
  • Confused Out-of-Towners Attend Every Mennonite Church in Fort Garry
    December 10, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Brushes Up on His German to Read the Bible in Its ‘Original Language’
    March 3, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Pastor Pardons Thanksgiving Farmer Sausage
    November 24, 2016
  • Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month
    October 15, 2019
  • Man Unleashes String of Profanity After Being Served Roll Kuchen Without Corn Syrup
    August 16, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Celebrates 500 Years of Anabaptism By Getting Baptized 500 Times
    January 20, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Drives Really Slow ‘To Be a Witness for the Lord’
    August 25, 2016
  • Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest
    July 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Discovers Farmer’s Tan in His Plumber’s Crack
    August 4, 2019

Trending

  • World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat
    July 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year
    July 7, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Mom Sentenced to Three Years Watching ‘Peppa Pig’
    February 26, 2018
  • JK Rowling Releases Mennonite Harry Potter Book ‘Without All the Magic’
    July 18, 2017
  • Olympic Fans Have One Last Chance to Cheer Against the USA Today
    August 21, 2016
  • Blues Albums Seeing a Huge Surge in Sales Right Now
    March 30, 2020
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Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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