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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The local MBGC church invites everyone to dress up like their favourite movie character and come sit around drinking Papsi and eating candy in the church basement this evening. “We’ll be decorating everything […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt

October 18, 2026

WINKLER, MB Municipal elections are coming up and that means Mennonites across the province will heading to the polls to Vogt. “I’m hoping the Vogter turnout will be high this year,” said local vogter Dave […]

Unger Conviction

  • Colicky Baby Jesus Completely Ruins Living Nativity
    December 18, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Kicked Out of Church for Calling Pastor a ‘Wacko’
    April 30, 2024
  • Local Congregation Installs Gender Neutral Church Pews
    July 12, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Little Abe Confuses Smoke Shack for Outhouse
    September 28, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Has Already Planted 25% of a Simon and Garfunkel Song
    July 3, 2025
  • Tim Hortons Collabs with Mr. Wiebe to Offer New Line of Mennonite Products
    December 11, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Successfully Traces His Ancestors Back to Adam
    January 28, 2017
  • Winkler Realtor Invites Nosy Mennonites to Wander Around the Friesen’s House
    July 11, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Sells His Toronto Raptors Seat to Buy $400,000 Combine
    May 28, 2019
  • Corny vs. Menno? Which name do you hear?
    May 19, 2018

Trending

  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature
    October 8, 2026
  • Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba
    October 7, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Woman Renews Her Vows to Facebook
    May 30, 2017
  • Festival to Feature New Chilliwack Cover Band Called Abbotsford
    May 9, 2025
  • British Tabloids Compare King Charles’s Fingers to Mennonite Farmer Sausage
    September 18, 2022
  • ‘Tooth & Nail’ Band Books Thirty Night Residency in Baptist Church Basement
    April 5, 2021
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Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done

October 17, 2026

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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