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Unger the Influence

Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund

May 20, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House just announced this week they’d be creating a $1.8 billion slush fund, specifically designed to provide Trump and his buddies with a neverending supply of 7-11 Slurpees. “I’ve hand-selected a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout

May 19, 2026

LANDMARK, MB Landmark woman Mrs. Plett (of course) was eager to try out the new roundabout just as construction is beginning and has already gotten herself trapped in a never ending loop. “This doesn’t bode […]

Unger Conviction

  • “Freedom-Loving” Pastor Won’t Let Women Wear Pants
    April 30, 2021
  • Mennonite Pastors Release New ‘Tracing App’ that Tracks How Much Time You’ve Spent Reading the Bible
    May 30, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Nails ’95 Theses’ to the Door of Local Church
    November 11, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mysterious Jars in Cellar Turn Out to Contain Oma’s Delicious Green Bean Soup
    November 30, 2019
  • Oma Toews Accidentally Uses Liquor Store Bags for the Tutes this Year
    December 24, 2020
  • Descendants of Penner Foods Employees to Gather in Steinbach
    May 28, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026
  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Clearbrook Votes to Secede from Abbotsford
    February 7, 2017
  • Stubborn Mennonite Man Refuses to Change Dead Bulb
    March 24, 2018
  • Top 10 Songs! Your Ultimate Knackzoat Radio Playlist!
    September 12, 2021
  • Party Leaders Score Big Points During Plautdietsch Language Debate
    October 2, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill
    May 10, 2026
  • Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever
    May 9, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids
    May 7, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now
    April 30, 2022
  • Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear
    January 27, 2026
  • Shocking! Man in Camo Shorts Not Even in the Military
    March 29, 2022
  • Christians to Stop Killing Other Christians for at Least a Couple Minutes on Easter Sunday
    April 20, 2025
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Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup

May 18, 2026

Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour

May 17, 2026

Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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