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Unger Suspicion

Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026

WINKLER, MB Convicted fraudster and medical inventor Elizabeth Holmes is set to be released from prison and will be setting up shop in Winkler, Manitoba. “Where I’ll be knisping and knacking to cure whatever ails […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites

October 25, 2026

VICTORIA, BC Two folks of Mennonite ancestry, Doerkson and Eby, squared off for the role of Premier of British Columbia last night, with Mennonites turning out in droves to support the Mennonite of their choice. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Pastor Invites Congregation to ‘Netflix and Chill’ Night at Local Church
    September 23, 2016
  • I Did Not Come to Bring Peace, But a Sword
    November 11, 2016
  • Mennonite Pastor Stocks up for Communion
    December 19, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Fake Russian McDonalds Offers Limp Flavourless Fries Called ‘Putin’
    June 18, 2022
  • Mennonite Couple Enjoys Romantic Late Night Supper at 4:30 in the Afternoon
    September 3, 2019
  • Local Baker Has Long List of People He Refuses to Bake Cakes For
    June 5, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • A Collection of Daily Bonnet Christmas Articles
    November 14, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Caught Using Genealogy Website to Cheat at Mennonite Game
    November 12, 2021
  • Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money
    September 9, 2026
  • Area Couple Names Newborn Daughter ‘Abe’
    June 16, 2016

Trending

  • Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done
    October 17, 2026
  • Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German
    October 16, 2026
  • American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian
    October 14, 2026
  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Rembrandt Painting Has Been Hanging Upside Down for 400 Years
    October 30, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Consults ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for Wardrobe Advice
    February 15, 2017
  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026
  • Government Now Requiring Masks to Fully Cover Douchey Neck Tattoos
    May 3, 2021
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Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler

October 23, 2026

Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat

October 22, 2026

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026

Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026

Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt

October 18, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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