The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes

August 24, 2026

AYLMER, ON Sick and tired to accidentally buying puffed wheat when what they wanted was Froot Loops, Mennonites in Canada are demanding that Low German be added to cereal boxes across the country. “Plus, it’ll […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Gifts Wife Wrong Kind Of Dutch Oven

August 23, 2026

WINKLER, MB Area man Mark Bueckert was pretty excited that his wife Linda had asked for a “dutch oven” for their anniversary this year. However, Linda did not receive the kind of dutch oven she […]

Unger Conviction

  • Revolutionary New Mennonite Church Adds an Extra Two Ounces to Baptismal Water
    July 9, 2018
  • Chaos in Church Kitchen as Pickle Dishes Discovered in Cream and Sugar Cupboard
    February 5, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Shaves Beard into Goatee to Become Youth Pastor
    April 24, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Winnipeg Mennonites Demand Roll Kuchen at New Krispy Kreme Store
    January 17, 2023
  • Stick Holding Debit Machine at Drivethru Falls Just Short of Actually Reaching Car
    April 1, 2023
  • Fourth Wiseman Rejected for Bringing Halva
    December 23, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Grandfather Shocked to Discover He’s Actually Greek
    May 25, 2024
  • Facebook Bans Mennonite Ladies from Posting Pictures of Flowers
    August 24, 2016
  • ‘Citizen Krahn’ Voted ‘Greatest Movie of All Time’
    July 5, 2018
  • Mennonite Couples Vow to Save Meddachschlop for Marriage
    April 21, 2017

Trending

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage
    August 14, 2026
  • World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days
    August 13, 2026
  • Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service
    August 12, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Man Declares Himself ‘Greater Than Muhammad Ali’
    June 4, 2016
  • Johnny Depp Flees Courthouse in White Ford Bronco
    May 27, 2022
  • Canadians Gather to Celebrate 149 Years of Not Being America
    July 1, 2016
  • Anti-Maskers Mistake The Forks for Steinbach
    April 25, 2021
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island

August 22, 2026

Canada Agrees To Allow American Booze But Only If It’s All Pappy Van Winkle

August 21, 2026

Mennonite Man Narrowly Escapes Church Service in Catering Truck

August 20, 2026

Carney Asks Provinces to Return Shitty Inferior American Beer to Stores

August 19, 2026

General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren

August 17, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved