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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026

BIRD’S HILL PARK, MB If you’re looking for tickets to the annual Vanapag Falk Festival, you are out of luck as the Falk Fest announced they were all sold out for the weekend. “Oba, Ruth, […]

Unger & Thirst

World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat

July 8, 2026

KANSAS CITY, MO World Cup fans from across the globe are coming home with a lot more than just the satisfaction of watching the Americans get absolutely destroyed by Belgium; they’re also discovering a delicious […]

Unger Conviction

  • Fists Fly After Loewen Family Sits in Penner Family Pew
    February 21, 2017
  • 300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank
    June 25, 2026
  • Chaos Erupts in Church Kitchen After Label Maker Goes On the Fritz
    January 16, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Slops $1000 Worth of Caesar Salad on His Plate
    November 27, 2022
  • New Study: Farmer Sausage Contains Only “Trace Amounts” of Actual Farmers
    March 10, 2021
  • Mennonite Grandma’s Vintage CorningWare Worth Millions and Millions of Dollars
    January 4, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • New Mennonite Thriller ‘Jakes on a Plane’ is Box Office Smash
    December 4, 2021
  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    January 20, 2026
  • Local Couple Plasters their Refrigerator with Christmas Cards from Politicians
    December 7, 2022
  • Anabaptist Heroes to be Added to Mount Rushmore
    August 27, 2018

Trending

  • Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show
    July 2, 2026
  • Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early
    July 1, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Taco Bell Unveils New Logo
    June 29, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • King Solomon to Undergo Wisdom Tooth Surgery
    May 13, 2019
  • Local Man Washes Hands to the Entire ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ Album
    March 20, 2020
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl
    February 4, 2019
  • Trudeau Hires Mennonites to Administer New $900 Million Roll Kuchen Grant Program
    August 19, 2020
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Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year

July 7, 2026

FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match

July 6, 2026

Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net

July 5, 2026

Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List

July 4, 2026

Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls

July 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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