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Unger Suspicion

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

SILICON VALLEY, CA After several disturbing reports by AI experts that claimed there was a 10% chance AI would kill us all within 10 years, new studies written by AI show that there’s actually nothing […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

REGINA, SK Residents of Saskatchewan have voted overwhelmingly this week to legalize potash dispensaries across the province. “We’ve gotta do something to keep up with Belarus,” said Regina resident Barry Broesky. “I’m sure with all […]

Unger Conviction

  • Artificial Intelligence Puts Mennonite Pastor Out of Work
    April 5, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Can’t Remember Where He Parked His Winter Coat
    January 15, 2023
  • 9 Pound Mennonite Baby Miraculously Born Three Months Premature
    August 4, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Unsure if New Church Friend’s a Teetotaler, Mennonite Woman Invites Her for ‘Coffee’
    July 22, 2018
  • Gopnik Outspits Mennonite
    October 23, 2021
  • Mennonite Grandma Frees Up Some Freezer Space to Store Vaccines
    March 24, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Boy Sneaks a Glimpse of Stanley Cup Finals from Lutheran Neighbour’s Window
    May 30, 2017
  • Steinbach Couple Claims to Be From Winnipeg While Travelling
    September 9, 2016
  • ‘Mennonite’ and 7 Other Terms You Didn’t Know were Slurs
    November 19, 2024
  • Radical Mennonites Storm MCC Store
    June 19, 2017

Trending

  • Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea
    September 18, 2026
  • Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    September 17, 2026
  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Winnipeg Man Gets 20 Years in Prison for Stealing A&W Mug
    March 29, 2019
  • Bernie Sanders’s Mittens Sworn in as President of the United States
    May 2, 2016
  • Babylon Bee Accidentally Mocks Rich White Cis Hetero Man
    June 27, 2022
  • Henderson, Nebraska Officially Declared “The Middle of Nowhere”
    October 7, 2018
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Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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