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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

KLEEFELD, MB Mrs. Koop of Kleefeld had to be rushed to the hospital this week after she over-exerted herself trying to get more rhubarb on her vereniki. “I’m doing okay now, but it was the […]

Unger Conviction

  • Calgary Church Threatens to Leave Town Unless Government Pays for Massive New Building
    June 9, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Converts JWs at the Front Door
    January 5, 2018
  • ‘What Church Do You Go To?’ Declared Official Steinbach Greeting
    December 20, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Faspa Cancelled After Church Runs Out of Bothwell Cheese
    May 28, 2017
  • Server Left Waiting Awkwardly at the Table for Mennonite Couple to Finish Praying
    January 21, 2018
  • Preservative Party of Canada to Select New Leader
    August 21, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man’s Car Spotted in Liquor Store Parking Lot
    May 27, 2020
  • Chris Goertzen and Kelvin Goertzen Still Insist They’re Not Brothers
    May 26, 2016
  • Mennonite Rock Fans Celebrate 50 Years of ‘Jantsied of the Moon’
    February 12, 2024
  • New Crowd Limits Still Not Big Enough to Accommodate the Klassens
    May 20, 2020

Trending

  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    July 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives
    July 26, 2026
  • Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy
    July 25, 2026
  • Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time
    July 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • ‘Huge Adele Fan’ Discovers She’s Actually Been Listening to Lauren Daigle for the Past Five Years
    May 16, 2022
  • Deceased Mennonite Man Shocked to Encounter Ozzy Osbourne
    July 24, 2025
  • Canadians Forced to Winter in Canada this Year
    October 14, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Insists His Beard is Not a Tribute to Fidel Castro
    November 26, 2016
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8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026

Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score

July 31, 2026

Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas

July 30, 2026

Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign

July 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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