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The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens

July 27, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB According to a recent Statistics Canada estimate, the City of Winnipeg now has a population of just over 850,000 Friesens. “And growing,” said mayor Scott Gillingham, one of just three individuals in the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives

July 26, 2026

TABER, AB The Kehlers of Grunthal only get two weeks vacation each year and for some reason have decided to blow it all on visiting frintschoft. “Miami? Paris? No. It’s Taber for us!” said Mrs. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Arrested for ‘Baptizing Under the Influence’
    May 2, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Issues Memo Against Signing Garrett Marino
    September 10, 2022
  • AGM Scheduled to Coincide with Most Important Game of the Season
    February 23, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Frantic Mennonites Stockpile Hand Sanitizer, Toilet Paper, and Farmer Sausage
    March 8, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Opts for Incontinental Breakfast
    October 16, 2023
  • Mennonite Church Awarded Their Very Own Chicken Chef Franchise
    June 16, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • The Most Popular Daily Bonnet Articles of 2020
    December 31, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Refuses to Do Her Christmas Shopping Until There’s Snow on the Ground
    November 16, 2023
  • Trendy Cafe Allows Customers to Sit Around and Drink Coffee While Completely Surrounded by Farmers
    July 7, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Starts GoFundMe to Pay for Tips at Chicken Chef
    January 31, 2023

Trending

  • Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus
    July 20, 2026
  • US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce
    July 19, 2026
  • Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke
    July 18, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate
    July 16, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Golden Boy Tests Positive for Covid
    November 2, 2020
  • Carrie Underwood Spotted Busking for Spare Change Outside Winnipeg Jets Arena
    May 14, 2018
  • Mysterious Mennonite Man to Start for Green Bay Packers in Winnipeg Thursday
    August 21, 2019
  • All 3 Remaining Commonwealth Countries Guaranteed Medals in Every Sport
    August 3, 2022
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Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy

July 25, 2026

Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time

July 24, 2026

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

July 23, 2026

Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge

July 22, 2026

Area Couple Enjoys Delicious Meal of Authentic Mennonite Food

July 21, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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