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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

REINLAND, MB Area man David Kehler, 51, renowned as something of a gourmand in the Reinland area, has just introduced new premium crackles. “We’re taking leftover bits of fatting meat stuck to the pan to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

WINKLER, MB After years of heated rivalry, Winkler officials voted 6 to 1 in favour of renaming the neighbouring community of Morden as Winkler West. “We also were considering Englisherville and Shekjbenjeltown but ultimately we […]

Unger Conviction

  • Sanctuary Evacuated After Mennonite Man Farts in Church
    October 24, 2021
  • Christian Man Says ‘Merry Christmas’, Nothing Happens
    December 16, 2019
  • Blessed are the Peacemakers
    November 11, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • ‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars
    February 23, 2020
  • Curry Dish Confuses Attendees at Mennonite Potluck
    July 11, 2016
  • Handwritten Recipe Has Mennonite Children Scratching Their Heads
    February 19, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Formula 1 Circuit Expands to Steinbach
    May 19, 2016
  • Mennonite Author Writes Autobiography, Calls it a “Novel”
    June 7, 2018
  • A Guide to Underwear Shopping for Mennonite Men
    February 20, 2021
  • Mennonite Heritage Village Offers Time Travel for a Lot Less than the Cost of a Delorean
    August 21, 2018

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Gifts Wife Wrong Kind Of Dutch Oven
    August 23, 2026
  • Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island
    August 22, 2026
  • Canada Agrees To Allow American Booze But Only If It’s All Pappy Van Winkle
    August 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Narrowly Escapes Church Service in Catering Truck
    August 20, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Controversial Alt-Mennonite Leader is Fed Up With Being Told Not to Judge
    December 3, 2016
  • United States Senate to Perform at Super Bowl Halftime Show
    February 1, 2020
  • Jason Kenney Appointed Sunday School Coordinator at GraceLife Church
    April 11, 2021
  • Innocent Civilian Super Grateful to Have House Bombed in Name of Freedom
    June 23, 2025
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Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants

August 27, 2026

Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario

August 26, 2026

Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him

August 25, 2026

Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes

August 24, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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