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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

REINLAND, MB Area man David Kehler, 51, renowned as something of a gourmand in the Reinland area, has just introduced new premium crackles. “We’re taking leftover bits of fatting meat stuck to the pan to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

WINKLER, MB After years of heated rivalry, Winkler officials voted 6 to 1 in favour of renaming the neighbouring community of Morden as Winkler West. “We also were considering Englisherville and Shekjbenjeltown but ultimately we […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Kicked Out of Church for Calling Pastor a ‘Wacko’
    April 30, 2024
  • Mennonite Church Lifts Television Ban Just in Time For that New Menno Sitcom
    January 3, 2024
  • Grandma Plett Discovers Bible iPhone App, Disrupts Service
    August 26, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Leaves Church Early to “Check on the Smoker”
    July 18, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Excited that Province has Opened Things Up for ‘El Fresca’ Dining
    March 21, 2021
  • Mennonites Rush to Stock Up on ‘Reimermectin’
    September 10, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Hopes of McDonald’s Dashed as Mennonite Children Told “We Have Perfectly Good Food at Home!”
    May 30, 2022
  • Mexican Mennonite Purchases Snowmobile, Prays for White Christmas
    December 15, 2018
  • ‘Sheeple’ Farm Opens in Southern Manitoba
    October 23, 2020
  • Mennonite Man to Circle the Earth For Next Two Months, Causing Mini-moon
    October 1, 2024

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Gifts Wife Wrong Kind Of Dutch Oven
    August 23, 2026
  • Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island
    August 22, 2026
  • Canada Agrees To Allow American Booze But Only If It’s All Pappy Van Winkle
    August 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Narrowly Escapes Church Service in Catering Truck
    August 20, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Encounter with Radiohead Song Sends Swiftie into Existential Crisis
    September 7, 2025
  • Area Man Deteles 6-Motnh Old Tweet After Discovreing Typo
    February 27, 2023
  • Fred Penner’s Cat Fails to Return
    March 24, 2017
  • Man with 27% of the Vote Claims He’s Mayor of Winnipeg
    October 27, 2022
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Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants

August 27, 2026

Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario

August 26, 2026

Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him

August 25, 2026

Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes

August 24, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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