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Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026

CHICAGO, IL After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Church Becomes 7-Eleven Franchise So it Can Reopen as an Essential Service
    December 9, 2020
  • Southern Baptists Expel Rick Warren for Floral-Patterned Shirt and Lack of Necktie
    June 18, 2023
  • Pastor’s Wife Wears ‘I Really Don’t Care, Do You?’ Jacket to Church
    June 24, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Attends Funerals Just for All the Free Food
    September 29, 2019
  • Area Man’s Fingers Permanently Stained By Ketchup Chips
    June 25, 2018
  • Mennonite-Grown Pumpkins Must Be Used For Pie Not Jack O’Lanterns
    October 12, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Family Invites ‘Oma Krahn’ to Christmas Gathering
    December 18, 2021
  • ‘Going Out of Business’ Sale Attracts Thousands of First Time Customers
    October 18, 2016
  • Fight Breaks Out Over Coat at Local Thrift Store
    November 25, 2021
  • How to Send Hate Mail to The Daily Bonnet: A Guide
    December 11, 2022

Trending

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Search of Clinton’s Wikileaks Emails for the Word “Mennonite” Reveals Not Much of Interest
    November 2, 2016
  • Police Arrest the Wrong Luigi
    December 12, 2024
  • Elon Musk Offers $1 Million to Anyone Who Can Pry His Hands from Skinny Jeans
    October 25, 2024
  • Fraser Valley Renamed ‘Frasier Valley’ After Kelsey Grammer Visit
    July 20, 2022
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High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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