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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB After apparently being absolutely petrified of playing in Winnipeg tonight, New Jersey Devils goalie Connor Hellebyuck will instead be eating a Jets Dog from the stands while little Timmy Wiebe of the Rosenort […]

Unger Suspicion

Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB When a new Winnipeg restaurant announced this week they would be prohibiting children under 15 from dining at their establishment, thousands of furious Winnipeggers took to the streets to demand not only that […]

Unger Conviction

  • College and Career Glow Bowling Event Results in Record Number of Hook-Ups
    October 20, 2016
  • ‘Presumptuous’ Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to Church
    December 8, 2016
  • That Hymn 606 Sure Gets Around
    September 21, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat
    July 8, 2026
  • Shoplifter Donates Robin Hood Flour to the Poor
    December 3, 2020
  • Why Canada is Unlocking Its Vault of Rogers Golden Syrup
    December 2, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Writes Cheque for 63 Cents
    April 18, 2019
  • Hipsters Forced to Cut Off Beards After Violating Pennsylvania Mennonite Patent
    October 29, 2019
  • Morden and Winkler Tired of Having to Share a Hospital
    September 16, 2019
  • Outhouses Coming Back in Style with Trendy Mennonite Millennials
    July 24, 2017

Trending

  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026
  • Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese
    October 31, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa
    October 29, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Saskatchewan Man Insists His Province is “Not that Flat” and You’re Just Seeing the Boring Part from the Highway
    July 21, 2022
  • Selfie-Taking City Woman Eaten By Giant Mutant Venus Sunflower Plant
    August 6, 2018
  • Local Man Signals His Own Virtue By Calling Out Virtue Signalling
    June 11, 2020
  • Ex-Blumenort Menno Knights Head Coach Signs with Winnipeg Jets
    May 20, 2022
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Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate

November 4, 2026

Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change

November 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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