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Unger Suspicion

Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’

February 3, 2026

ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA The state of Minnesota, famed for its lakes, cheese-stuffed hamburgers and association with the late musician Prince, has decided to forego all that and take on the new name ‘Manitoba South.’ “People […]

Unger the Influence

George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files

February 1, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Historians are breathing a sigh of relief this weekend as not a single mention of George Washington was discovered in the latest batch of Epstein files. “His name has been completely cleared,” said […]

Unger Conviction

  • Abbotsford Music Fans Demand Brian Doerksen Open for Taylor Swift
    November 21, 2023
  • Special Number is Not All That Special
    February 8, 2017
  • Parents Punish Misbehaving Children By Forcing Them To Attend Annual Saengerfest
    December 14, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Hospitalized After Eating Too Far Into the Green Part
    August 4, 2019
  • Canadian Mennonite Dares to Try the Hot Sauce from Mexican Import Store
    July 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Travellers Required to Dispose of Roll Kuchen Before Boarding
    July 27, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026
  • US Troops Accidentally Seize One of Those Oil and Vinegar Tasting Rooms
    January 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Totally Normal Steinbach Bungalow to be Preserved at Local Museum
    November 21, 2016
  • Manitoba Reports First Case of Broeskypox
    May 21, 2022
  • Christmas Card Disappoints
    December 23, 2024
  • Party Leaders Score Big Points During Plautdietsch Language Debate
    October 2, 2019

Trending

  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Gets Standing Ovation in Switzerland
    January 22, 2026
  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Calgary Mayor Handily Defeated by Abbotsford Mayor in Crokinole Match
    April 5, 2017
  • Brian Pallister to Manitobans: “You Can’t Fire Me; I Quit!”
    August 10, 2021
  • Angry Americans Protest Wildfire Smoke that’s “Illegally” Crossing into the US from Canada
    June 16, 2023
  • Tucker Carlson to Mennonite Men: “Make Sure to Smoke Your Sausage”
    April 23, 2022
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Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina

January 31, 2026

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026

Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now

January 28, 2026

Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear

January 27, 2026

“Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests

January 26, 2026

Unger Games

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team
    January 19, 2026
  • New Season of ‘Heated Rivalry’ to Feature Manitoba’s Top Crokinole Players
    January 17, 2026
  • Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering
    January 12, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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