The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
Unger the Influence

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Trump’s new press secretary lasted just five days on the job after appearing completely unable to string a few words together. “But as it turns out, she was actually speaking in Plautdietsch the […]

Unger Suspicion

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA School districts across the United States have banned controversial Margaret Atwood novel The Handmaid’s Tale for containing “disturbing Canadian content.” “We have to protect our kids from reading Canadian literature,” said local parent Tiffany […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Child Prays, Followed Quickly By “Real Prayer” From Adult
    November 1, 2019
  • Church Attendance Takes Huge Hit After Pastor Excommunicates Anyone Who Doesn’t Reply to His Email
    February 24, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Wears Steel Toe Boots to Church
    December 19, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Despair Strikes Mennonite Man After Fruitless Search for Ketchup
    January 25, 2023
  • Shoplifter Donates Robin Hood Flour to the Poor
    December 3, 2020
  • Climate Scientists Predict Global Shortage of Schmaunt Fat
    May 16, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Kildonan Fellowship Church Opens New Location in Winnipeg
    May 1, 2023
  • No Picture
    Mennonite Man Moves Back and Forth Between Canada and Mexico a Record 37 Times in a Single Week
    July 18, 2022
  • Modestly Attired Mennonite Model Appears in ‘Sports Illustrated’ Swimsuit Edition
    May 12, 2019
  • Winkler Family Plans Exotic Vacation in Morden this Summer
    September 1, 2020

Trending

  • Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba
    October 7, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early
    July 1, 2026
  • Newborn Begs to Go Back In After Seeing Dad’s Face
    September 21, 2017
  • One Million Manitobans Trapped in their Driveways Due to Obstructed Views
    March 6, 2019
  • NRA Files for Moral Bankruptcy
    January 15, 2021
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved