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Unger Games

Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team

September 15, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg Jets goalie Connor Hellebuyck was a no show at training camp this week, reportedly demanding the chance to completely shit the bed in the playoffs for another team. “I’m sick of playing […]

Unger the Influence

Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards

September 14, 2026

STEINBACH, MB In what just might be the most heated conflict the City of Steinbach has ever had with the Province of Manitoba, a grassy boulevard on Brandt Street remained totally unmowed for several weeks […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation
    October 7, 2020
  • Friesens Rush to be First for ‘Der Friedensfurst’
    December 18, 2020
  • Church Considering July Return in Empty Arenas
    April 26, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Kansas Man Caught Stuffing His Own Bierock
    April 25, 2024
  • Winkler Declares Schmaunt Fat Rationing Emergency
    July 28, 2021
  • City Man Invites Two Mennonites On Fishing Trip So He Can Drink All the Beer Himself
    August 3, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Sydney Sweeney Spotted on Kansas Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    July 30, 2025
  • The Daily Bonnet Makes You Famous!
    November 2, 2019
  • Mennonite Town Bans Using Turn Signals
    January 30, 2018
  • A List of Every Mannanite Film Ever Nominated for Bast Picture
    January 24, 2023

Trending

  • Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona
    September 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi
    September 3, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store
    September 2, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Man Signals His Own Virtue By Calling Out Virtue Signalling
    June 11, 2020
  • Local Man Dies of Boredom Watching Soccer
    July 2, 2018
  • Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus
    July 20, 2026
  • Discovery Channel’s Documentary on ‘Pacifist Sharks’ is ‘Most Boring’ Program Ever Aired During Shark Week
    July 28, 2018
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Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’

September 13, 2026

Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town

September 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

September 11, 2026

Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money

September 9, 2026

New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size

September 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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