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Unger Suspicion

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

MONTREAL, QUEBEC In an effort to appeal to a younger hipper audience, Canadian clothing retailer Reitmans has recently introduced a new Angine de Poitrine line of polka-dotted blouses and skirts. “I never knew Reitmans was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

WINKLER, MB A recent rash of copper wire thefts has left a huge shortage in the community of Winkler, which has thankfully been filled by a dedicated team of Mennonite volunteers. “We’ve been stretching pennies […]

Unger Conviction

  • Last Church in Town Finally Drops ‘Cumbersome Mennonite Label’
    March 26, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Claims ‘Prophetic Gift’ After Predicting Rain this May Long Weekend
    May 21, 2017
  • The Seven Deadly Sins (for Mennonites)
    October 11, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Dented Cans and Bruised Bananas
    June 14, 2021
  • Winkler Man Caught at Morden Bar
    May 1, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Refuses to Pay for Superstore Bags
    June 29, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Men Take Cover in their Barns as Wives Gather to Watch ‘Gilmore Girls’
    November 25, 2016
  • Police Raid Mennonite Gambling Den, Seize Hundreds of Rook Cards
    January 29, 2018
  • Mennonites Excited for New ‘Nut Kroeker’ Ballet
    February 28, 2025
  • Thrift Store Confuses Shot Glasses for Candle Holders
    October 28, 2017

Trending

  • Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score
    July 31, 2026
  • Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas
    July 30, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    July 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Woman Consults ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for Wardrobe Advice
    February 15, 2017
  • Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer
    July 13, 2026
  • Mennonite College Student Faints with Excitement at Hauerwas Lecture
    April 29, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis
    March 21, 2023
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Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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