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The Daily Bonnet

Area Man Really Digging this Dave Brubeck They’re Playing While He’s On Hold

November 10, 2026

KITCHENER, ON After Travelocity messed up his travel plans this spring break, area man Dave Martin of Kitchener was relieved that he’d at least get to spend the next 9 hours on hold listening to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB After apparently being absolutely petrified of playing in Winnipeg tonight, New Jersey Devils goalie Connor Hellebyuck will instead be eating a Jets Dog from the stands while little Timmy Wiebe of the Rosenort […]

Unger Conviction

  • Attempt at Singing ‘Silent Night’ in German Fizzles Out After First Line
    December 20, 2019
  • Mennonite Pastor Launches String of F-Bombs in Last Sermon Before Retirement
    July 25, 2018
  • Local Free Church to Charge Admission
    April 3, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby
    October 10, 2023
  • Curry Dish Confuses Attendees at Mennonite Potluck
    July 11, 2016
  • Manitoba Knackzoat Reservations Surge on Opening Day
    April 7, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Manitoba Couple Visits Abbotsford Relatives Never to Return
    July 24, 2016
  • Janitor Left to Clean Up Huge Mess After Mennonite Women “Spill the Tea”
    January 31, 2025
  • Mennonite Couple Saves a Fortune by Sharing Dish at Local Restaurant
    September 18, 2019
  • Hippies Mistake Steinbach’s Summer Festival for Woodstock
    June 18, 2017

Trending

  • Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change
    November 3, 2026
  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026
  • Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese
    October 31, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau Caught on Jumbotron at Coldplay Concert
    July 29, 2025
  • Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour
    September 19, 2026
  • Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona
    September 5, 2026
  • Letter to Small Town Paper Solves Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
    February 28, 2017
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Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate

November 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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