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Unger Suspicion

I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found

February 16, 2026

NOT SATIRE. I searched the Epstein Files. For real. This is not satire. Please note, of course, that there are millions upon millions of files and none of the findings here suggest any wrongdoing. Here […]

Unger Games

France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2

February 15, 2026

MILAN, ITALY The Canadian men’s hockey team was utterly humiliated this evening in Milan after winning only by a score of 10 to 2 versus France. “I gotta say, letting in 2 goals to France […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Converts JWs at the Front Door
    January 5, 2018
  • Felix Manz, Forgotten Second Rebaptizer, Declared “Buzz Aldrin” of the Anabaptists
    January 22, 2025
  • Mennonite Couple ‘Devastated’ after Narrowly Missing Registration Deadline for Church this Sunday
    April 24, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Old Dutch Releases New ‘Rapple Chaps’
    October 12, 2020
  • Handwritten Recipe Has Mennonite Children Scratching Their Heads
    February 19, 2019
  • KFC Implements New ‘Bring Your Own Bacon’ Policy
    August 25, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Saves Thousands By Separating the Two-Ply
    April 8, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Wins Nobel Peace Prize for Remembering to Lift the Toilet Seat
    March 29, 2024
  • Mennonite Man with Pickup Truck Constantly Asked to Help Move
    May 25, 2019
  • Top 10 Unger Review Articles of 2025
    January 1, 2026

Trending

  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026
  • Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’
    February 3, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Patrik Laine Considers Bringing Back ‘Lucky Mennonite Beard’ After Recent Slump
    January 10, 2019
  • Young People Wonder Just What Kind of World They’re Leaving for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards
    May 1, 2021
  • Spoiler Isn’t Making Your Car Any Faster, It’s Just Making You Look that Much More Desperate
    February 18, 2021
  • Manitoba Government Replaces All Winnipeg Emergency Rooms With This One Bungalow in Transcona
    July 12, 2019
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Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island

February 14, 2026

Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

February 13, 2026

White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island

February 11, 2026

Americans Furious About All-Plautdietsch Halftime Show

February 10, 2026

Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters

February 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026
  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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