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Unger the Influence

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

NEW HAMBURG, ON Days after it was discovered the Ontario Premier was getting around in a $28 million private jet, Doug Ford announced he would be getting a Martin or Eby to cart him around […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

STRATFORD, ON Another year has come and gone and once again legendary Paraguayan harpist Eduard Klassen has been left off the list for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. “It’s outrageous,” said […]

Unger Conviction

  • Winkler Area Church to Meet in Bouncy Castle
    February 22, 2022
  • Bible College Sells Record Number of Engagement Rings on Student Orientation Day
    August 28, 2024
  • Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation
    October 7, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Béchamel Sauce Revealed to be Nothing More than Schmaunt Fat
    April 21, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman’s ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ Declared Worst Dessert at Church Bake Sale
    January 14, 2018
  • Hash Brownie Recipe Discovered in Antique Mennonite Cookbook
    July 6, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Couple Eagerly Anticipate Turning the Page on their MCC Calendar
    March 31, 2023
  • Mennonites Really Excited About New Pfizer Product
    November 16, 2020
  • House Fails to Warm Up After Mennonite Man Puts on the Fireplace Channel
    January 14, 2024
  • Mennonite Church Warns ‘No Casual Meddachschlop During Public Health Crisis’
    March 31, 2020

Trending

  • Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event
    April 10, 2026
  • Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist
    April 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet
    April 7, 2026
  • Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney
    April 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Self-Loathing Winnipeggers Select ‘Ugh…Winnipeg Sucks’ as New City Slogan
    March 2, 2018
  • Ricky Gervais Roasts “Mennonite Elites” at Annual Sunday School Attendance Awards
    January 8, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Insists His Beard is Not a Tribute to Fidel Castro
    November 26, 2016
  • Winnipeg to Relocate Trains to Keep Out Worldly Influences
    October 16, 2024
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Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler

April 15, 2026

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026

Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church

April 12, 2026

Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil

April 11, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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