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Unger Games

Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties

June 12, 2026

TORONTO, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Canada were relieved this afternoon after Canada ended their match with Croatia in a tie. “That way no one goes home happy,” said Pete Dyck of Kitchener. “You know, […]

Unger Games

Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday

June 11, 2026

LOS ANGELES, CA Every single Mennonite on the planet will be cheering on Paraguay as they face off against the Americans in the World Cup opener this Friday evening. “They’ll be cheering in Spanish. They’ll […]

Unger Conviction

  • Sticky Tack Holds Poster to Wall for Record 5 Minutes
    September 12, 2025
  • Daring Mennonite Couple Decide to Share a Bulletin this Sunday
    November 6, 2023
  • Mennonite Church Discards Hymnals Because No One Can Read Music Anymore
    September 15, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman’s Salads Consist Mostly of Whipped Cream
    January 27, 2018
  • Tim Hortons to Replace Timbits with Mennonite Zwieback
    June 14, 2024
  • McDonalds Takes McRib Off the Menu Just Long Enough for People to Forget How Terrible It Is
    March 6, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Wakes Up Just In Time for Next Year’s Sunrise Service
    April 21, 2025
  • Winnipeg Man Blames the Refs for Every Single Problem in His Life
    April 22, 2019
  • Mennonites Caught Smuggling Dirty Rubber Boots Across the Border
    June 19, 2018
  • Mennonite Marriage Counselor Advises Cousins to Stay Together
    July 17, 2021

Trending

  • Adventurous Manitoban Drives Right to the Top of Province’s Highest Mountain
    June 3, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly
    June 2, 2026
  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Kevin O’Leary Encourages Mennonites to ‘Work Harder, Make More Money, Be More Industrious’
    November 12, 2016
  • Nickelback Frontman Insists He’s Really a Kroeker
    September 27, 2022
  • Nostradamus Eerily Predicts the End of Twitter
    November 15, 2022
  • Quebec Separatists Demand to Take Ste. Anne, Manitoba With Them
    April 18, 2017
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Ottawa to Ban Social Media for Kids and Replace it with Hinterland Who’s Who

June 10, 2026

Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies

June 9, 2026

Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight

June 7, 2026

Road Crews Really Busy This Summer Putting Out Pylons

June 6, 2026

Mennonite Man Installs New Inground Pool

June 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026
  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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