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Unger Conviction

General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren

August 17, 2026

GOSHEN, IN Just as US President Donald Trump seems hellbent on starting trade wars (and real wars) around the globe, the Mennonite Brethren and Mennonite Church have inked a brand new free trade deal that […]

Unger Games

Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI

August 16, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Just hours after hitting the championship-winning three-pointer for the Winnipeg Sea Bears this weekend, a massive 50 foot fall bronze statue of Simon Hildebrandt appeared outside his alma matter, Mennonite Brethren Collegiate Institute. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Brethren and General Conference Forced to Share Folklorama Pavilion
    August 12, 2017
  • Unmarried Couple Caught Holding Hymnal Together
    May 15, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Empties Swear Jar to Support ‘My Coins Count’
    April 23, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Tests Positive for Coke
    December 30, 2018
  • Custodian at Local Senior’s Home Can’t Get the Smell of Roll Kuchen Out of the Hallway
    September 13, 2018
  • City of Steinbach Fills Water Tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup
    September 27, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Wins Nobel Peace Prize for Remembering to Lift the Toilet Seat
    March 29, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • ‘Three King’s Day’ Cripples Winkler Economy
    January 7, 2017
  • Tickets for Mennonite Hip-Hop Musical ‘Hostetler’ Impossible to Get
    February 19, 2021

Trending

  • Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line
    August 9, 2026
  • Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies
    August 8, 2026
  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Ken Ham and Kent Hovind to Guest Star in Series Finale of ‘The Big Bang Theory’
    September 2, 2018
  • Collective Soul Play Casino Just to Make their Fans Feel Old
    April 19, 2023
  • Idiot Spring Breakers Force Sharks to Take Matters Into Their Own Hands
    March 20, 2020
  • World Junior Uno Tournament Cancelled
    December 29, 2021
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Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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