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Unger Suspicion

Local Gas Station to Offer Free Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase

March 18, 2026

CHILLIWACK, BC Gas stations across the province are going the extra mile this week by providing each paying customer with a complimentary kick in the groin. “We’re trying to stand out from the crowd by […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz

March 17, 2026

OMAN Oil tankers may once again have free passageway through the Strait of Hormuz after the United Nations has brought in world’s top experts on draining swamps – the Mennonites. “They did it in Friesland, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Editorial: ‘I Think the Lord Would Approve of Our Church Split’
    December 2, 2016
  • Mannequin Challenge or…Mennonite Worship Service?
    November 20, 2016
  • Man with Snowblower Finds Renewed Sense of Purpose and Meaning
    February 26, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Winnipeggers Vote for their Favourites During Annual “Le Roll Kuchen Week”
    September 2, 2023
  • Mennonite Man to Livestream Exclusive Performance of ‘The Nutcracker’
    December 22, 2020
  • US Troops Accidentally Seize One of Those Oil and Vinegar Tasting Rooms
    January 5, 2026

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Top 10 Most Inappropriate Mennonite Couples
    November 1, 2021
  • Ditsied Outpaces Jantsied in Race to Get ‘Jeimpft’
    July 10, 2021
  • Formula 1 Circuit Expands to Steinbach
    May 19, 2016
  • Mennonite Town Installs Massive New Rug Under which to Sweep All Their Problems
    May 6, 2023

Trending

  • McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product
    March 8, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels
    March 5, 2026
  • World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again
    March 4, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Public Uproar As Thousands of Refugees Descend on Western Canada
    February 22, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Still ‘Feeling the Bern’
    May 23, 2016
  • Canadian Swifties Demand Taylor Date at Least One CFL Star
    September 25, 2023
  • Shocking! Man in Camo Shorts Not Even in the Military
    March 29, 2022
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Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight

March 16, 2026

Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year

March 14, 2026

Subway Opens in La Broquerie

March 12, 2026

Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

March 11, 2026

Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel

March 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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