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Unger the Influence

Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat

October 22, 2026

EDMONTON, AB Edmonton’s small but growing Mennonite community has come to rally around their new-ish mayor after discovering he shared an interest in their favourite snack. “Nah, oba, I really had no interest in municipal […]

Unger the Influence

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Pesticide manufacture Roundup has just announced a new product specifically designed to get rid of those pesky election signs in your yard. “We’re really excited to bring this new product to the market,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Hip New Church Bulletin Goes All Comic Sans
    April 9, 2017
  • Mennonite Child Wondering Why We’re Singing All These Songs About Calgary this Time of Year
    April 16, 2022
  • New Pill Makes Mennonite Church Service Tolerable
    October 29, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Hasn’t Knacked Zoat All Year
    January 3, 2023
  • 8 Easy Mennonite Recipes for Your Hockey Playoff Parties
    May 5, 2018
  • Steinbachers ‘Super Excited’ to Finally Have Some Sort of Prohibition Once Again
    October 25, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards
    September 14, 2026
  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Infant Loses Mennonite Status After Being Born at St. Boniface Instead of Concordia
    August 4, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Reluctantly Agrees to Wash His Hands Once in a While to Prevent Coronavirus
    March 3, 2020
  • Mennonite MLAs Concerned “Cabinet Shuffle” Might Be Some Kind of Dance
    January 6, 2021
  • Costco Cracks Down on Mennonites Sharing Memberships
    August 13, 2024

Trending

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco
    October 12, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Regina and Saskatoon Merge to Attract IKEA and a Hockey Team
    January 16, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Perplexed by the Warm Soothing Sounds of Steve Bell
    December 15, 2022
  • Calgary Mayor Handily Defeated by Abbotsford Mayor in Crokinole Match
    April 5, 2017
  • Manitoba Hill Masquerades as “Mountain”
    July 12, 2020
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Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026

Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt

October 18, 2026

Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done

October 17, 2026

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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