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Unger the Influence

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

EPSTEIN FILES The US government has launched a surprise full scale attack on the Epstein Files this weekend. “We had to strike and strike hard to prevent the Epstein Files from doing any more damage,” […]

Unger Games

American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey

February 26, 2026

OTTAWA, ON Moments after the US victory on Sunday morning, millions of Canadians have decided they no longer have any interest in the sport of hockey. “President Trump warned us of this very thing,” said […]

Unger Conviction

  • Winkler Church Raises Money to Send Missionaries to Morden
    October 11, 2016
  • Anabaptist Seminary Graduates a Record Five Calvinists
    April 22, 2017
  • North Kildonan Gets its Own Area Code
    March 22, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Takes Home the Super Bowl
    February 7, 2021
  • Liberal Mennonite Church Approves the Use of Seedless Watermelons
    August 2, 2017
  • Truck Spills Schmaunt Fat All Over Memphis Highway
    September 9, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026
  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026
  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • “They’re a slippery slope to pants”: Mennonite Church Bans Leggings
    October 6, 2024
  • Mennonites Invade Downtown Toronto During Power Outage
    August 11, 2022
  • World Low German Spelling Bee Championship to Be Held in Grunthal
    June 6, 2016
  • New TikTok Account Features Videos of Mennonite Woman Resisting the Urge to Dance
    March 9, 2021

Trending

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026
  • Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning
    February 17, 2026
  • I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found
    February 16, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • “What is this – Calgary?” Winnipeg Man Can’t Figure Out Warm Holiday Temperatures
    December 28, 2019
  • Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Hired by Fox News
    October 29, 2018
  • Area Man Elected President of Ecuador
    May 24, 2016
  • Mormon Missionaries Find Mennonite Town ‘Totally Confusing’
    June 20, 2017
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Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026

Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2026

Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey

February 21, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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