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Unger Games

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

FRESNO, CA Guillermo Toews, a soccer player from Paraguay, got FIFA’s first ever red card for yawning this week after appearing visibly bored during his match against Turkey. “Hey, if the fans are bored that’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026

BIRD’S HILL PARK, MB If you’re looking for tickets to the annual Vanapag Falk Festival, you are out of luck as the Falk Fest announced they were all sold out for the weekend. “Oba, Ruth, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Ms. Anna Baptist to Bring the Word this Sunday
    August 3, 2019
  • Mennonite Pastor Forbids Standing in Church, Claims it ‘Leads to Dancing’
    May 26, 2017
  • Mennonite Couple Names Children After Really Obscure Old Testament Characters
    June 2, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Has “Just One Small Piece” … Then Has Four More
    November 3, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Fits Entire Bag of Spitz in His Mouth at Once
    October 3, 2020
  • Introducing the Seattle Knackin’
    July 23, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Trad Wife Discovered at Mennonite Museum
    June 1, 2024
  • Editorial: Should Steinbach Separate From Canada?
    June 30, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Accidentally Puts Up Halloween Decorations for Thanksgiving
    October 7, 2023
  • Mennonite Students Pin Malcolm Gladwell Posters All Over Their Lockers
    September 7, 2021

Trending

  • Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls
    July 3, 2026
  • Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show
    July 2, 2026
  • Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early
    July 1, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • A Do-it-Yourselfers Guide to Selecting and Constructing the Perfect Border Wall
    March 22, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Perplexed by the Warm Soothing Sounds of Steve Bell
    December 15, 2022
  • Winnipeg Forecast Calls for -8 Today or -230 with Windchill
    December 8, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Shuts Off Vikings Game at Half Time
    December 17, 2022
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World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat

July 8, 2026

Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year

July 7, 2026

FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match

July 6, 2026

Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net

July 5, 2026

Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List

July 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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