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The Daily Bonnet

High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB La Crete, Alberta’s country superstars High Valley are currently travelling across Canada performing exclusively for various Rempels. “Every time I walk out onto the stage and look out into audience, all I see […]

The Daily Bonnet

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

RIDING MOUNTAIN, MB More than two thousand young Mennonite men showed up at Riding Mountain National Park this week ready to join the World War III Conscientious Objector camp. “We haven’t had the chance to […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Couple Come Late to Church and Have to Settle for Front Row
    April 17, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Wows Audience with Stunning Performance of that Piano Song You Play with Your Knuckles
    March 30, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Claims ‘Prophetic Gift’ After Predicting Rain this May Long Weekend
    May 21, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Fake Russian McDonalds Offers Limp Flavourless Fries Called ‘Putin’
    June 18, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Attends Super Bowl Party Just for the Snacks
    February 12, 2023
  • Death Row Inmate Requests Mennonite Food for Last Meal
    October 26, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026
  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Spends All Day at Hardware Store Trying to Find the Wood Stretcher
    August 25, 2023
  • Mexican Mennonite Purchases Snowmobile, Prays for White Christmas
    December 15, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet
    July 3, 2022
  • Local Woman Comes Home and Catches Husband on Pinterest
    August 7, 2017

Trending

  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026
  • Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey
    February 21, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • American Hockey Expert Makes His Picks for NHL Playoffs
    April 25, 2018
  • Local Man’s Biggest Fear is Showing His Fear
    November 6, 2020
  • Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Gather to Celebrate One Full Year of Not Saying Something Stupid Enough on Twitter to Get Cancelled
    February 28, 2021
  • ‘Seinfeld’ Re-runs Totally Confuse Local Mennonite Man
    July 14, 2016
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Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey

February 26, 2026

Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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