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Unger the Influence

Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week

May 30, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC A completely destroyed and annihilated military has somehow managed to take over the Strait of Hormuz this afternoon, which means Donald Trump will have to completely destroy the completely destroyed military yet again. […]

Unger the Influence

Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After months of finagling, it looks like Prime Minister Mark Carney is just one MP resignation from his goal of giving the Canadian public what the voted for in the first place. “It’s […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Quartet Breaks Up After Discovering Tenor is Lutheran
    April 28, 2018
  • Three Mennonites Hospitalized After Brutal Drive-By Shunning
    December 7, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Labelled a “Feminist” for Not Trailing 10 Feet Behind Her Husband at All Times
    July 5, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man to Open Massive Backyard Poultry Operation in Winnipeg
    April 14, 2022
  • Mennonite Grandma’s Vintage CorningWare Worth Millions and Millions of Dollars
    January 4, 2021
  • Winnipeg Man Consumes All 183 ‘Burger Week’ Burgers
    September 6, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026
  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man with Pickup Truck Constantly Asked to Help Move
    May 25, 2019
  • Steinbach Residents to Get Bolt Cutters in their Stockings this Christmas
    November 18, 2020
  • Taylor Swift Spotted on Kansas Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    October 1, 2023
  • 7 Mennonite Sisters Marry 7 Mennonite Brothers in Epic Septuple Wedding
    October 30, 2017

Trending

  • Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki
    May 21, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout
    May 19, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Christiano Ronaldo Signs $200 Million Deal with Hanover Kickers
    December 31, 2022
  • For Some Strange Reason Canadians are Really Excited About A Foreign Country’s Presidential Election
    October 26, 2016
  • Anti-Maskers Mistake The Forks for Steinbach
    April 25, 2021
  • Manitoba Hill Masquerades as “Mountain”
    July 12, 2020
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Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026

Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026

Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026

Ed Sullivan Theatre to Be Demolished and Replaced with Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech

May 22, 2026

Unger Games

  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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