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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives

July 26, 2026

TABER, AB The Kehlers of Grunthal only get two weeks vacation each year and for some reason have decided to blow it all on visiting frintschoft. “Miami? Paris? No. It’s Taber for us!” said Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy

July 25, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Agriculture has been the backbone of the economy in southern Manitoba for well over a century. Over the past couple years, however, it has been radically transformed to a wedding venue-based economy, as […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Group Hires Private Investigator to Follow Around the Klassens
    July 30, 2021
  • Two Groups That Absolutely Hate Each Other and Disagree on Nearly Everything Both Say They’re “Christians”
    September 16, 2022
  • Mennonite Author Achieves Lifelong Dream of Getting Book in Church Library
    August 7, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • What the Heck is a “Mennonite Raised Chicken”?
    September 30, 2017
  • Winnipeg Mennonites Demand Roll Kuchen at New Krispy Kreme Store
    January 17, 2023
  • Trudeau Hires Mennonites to Administer New $900 Million Roll Kuchen Grant Program
    August 19, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Local Man Turns 40, or 65 in ‘Mennonite Years’
    November 9, 2019
  • “Zellers ain’t good enough!” Mennonites Demand Return of SAAN Stores
    August 19, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Works His Usual 18 Hours on Labour Day
    September 5, 2016
  • Aritzia Introduces New Line of Long Denim Skirts for Women Wanting to Look Like They’re in Some Weird Religious Sect
    April 18, 2024

Trending

  • US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce
    July 19, 2026
  • Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke
    July 18, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate
    July 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Anti-Pantsers Demand Their Constitutional Rights
    September 13, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Consults ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for Wardrobe Advice
    February 15, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for Lasting All 20 Seasons Without Watching the Kardashians
    June 15, 2021
  • 10 Taylor Swift Jokes Better than Jo Koy’s
    January 12, 2024
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Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time

July 24, 2026

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

July 23, 2026

Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge

July 22, 2026

Area Couple Enjoys Delicious Meal of Authentic Mennonite Food

July 21, 2026

Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus

July 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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