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Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Anne Froese, 71, has been taken into custody by Saskatoon policy this weekend after it was discovered she had tried to pass off a Costco pumpkin pie as her own. “When […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Publisher Releases Extra-Wide Bibles to Keep the Boys and Girls Farther Apart
    August 16, 2018
  • Mennonite Supreme Court Rules Life Begins at Baptism
    June 25, 2022
  • Hundreds of Mennonites Show Up at Church on Onewheels
    August 15, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Check Out These Wacky Mennonite Dishes Inspired by the Daily Bonnet
    April 10, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Enjoys Delicious Steaming Cup of Pripps
    December 11, 2019
  • Mennonite Grandma’s Vintage CorningWare Worth Millions and Millions of Dollars
    January 4, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Early Results Show Mennonite Pastor in Commanding Lead
    November 8, 2016
  • Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden
    August 29, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Caught Cheating on ‘Words with Friends’
    September 19, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Has Friesen Toews
    January 21, 2024

Trending

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026
  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Calgary’s Big Blue Ring To Undergo $63 Million Upgrade
    August 27, 2024
  • Mennonites Shun Patrik Laine For Shaving Off His Beard
    May 28, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Leads Mass Exodus from Twitter
    November 25, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Perplexed by the Warm Soothing Sounds of Steve Bell
    December 15, 2022
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Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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