Unger Suspicion
Fox News to Go ALL CAPS
NEW YORK, NY IN AN EFFORT TO GET THE ATTENTION OF ANYONE WHO WASN’T YET WATCHING, FOX NEWS IS GOING TO BE USING ‘ALL CAPS’ FOR ALL ITS NEWS BROADCASTS AND WEB CONTENT FROM NOW […]
Month: May 2019
The Daily Bonnet
Mennonite Man with Pickup Truck Constantly Asked to Help Move
STEINBACH, MB Local pickup truck owner Keith Dueck, 33, is going to be pretty busy this summer moving all his friends to their new homes. “I’m pretty booked up,” said Dueck. “I guess that’s what […]
Unger Suspicion
Menno Simons to be Featured in New XBox Game
REDMOND, WA Anabaptist leader Menno Simons will be featured in a new XBox game aimed at getting more Mennonite teenagers to play video games. “This is the first game we’ve ever made that features absolutely no […]
The Daily Bonnet
Porch Swing Launches Mennonite Grandma into Neighbour’s Yard
ALTONA, MB Mrs. Penner was sent flying into the Goosen’s yard last night after an overly vigorous session on the porch swing. “Oba, I was out tending the BBQ and I looked up and what […]
The Daily Bonnet
“I’ll be there for sex”: Mennonite Man’s Text Gives the Wrong Impression
VANKLA, MB Local man Corny Klassen, 63, texted his friend Abe explaining that he’d be at his house for six o’clock to pick up the chickens. Unfortunately, Abe got the wrong impression from the message. […]