STEINBACH, MB
Mr. Schmidt of Steinbach has been a life-long attendee at the local Lutheran Church. However, after discovering roll kuchen this week, he decided to abandon the faith of his childhood and join the Mennonites.
“Diewel, that roll kuchen is delicious!” said Mr. Schmidt. “See, those Mennonites have even got me saying ‘Diewel’!”
Schmidt had simply wanted to transfer his church membership, but the Mennonite church said he had to be rebaptized.
“I don’t care. I’ll do whatever it takes. Douse me in Golden Syrup for all I care,” said Mr. Schmidt. “As long as I’m guaranteed a lifetime of roll kuchen I’ll do anything those Mennonites ask of me.”
Pastor Dave was not surprised by Mr. Schmidt’s eagerness.
“Let me tell you a little secret,” said Dave. “Roll kuchen has been our most effective evangelistic tool for decades. It even worked on a few Anglicans from the city.”
The church has recently released a new illustrated gospel tract that features a picture of a wide gulf between God and man.
“And, in between,” said Pastor Dave. “Is a bridge made of roll kuchen. I think it’s the most theologically sound gospel tract we’ve ever released.”
