REGINA, SK
The 2019 Canadian federal election is a profoundly historic one. Just this weekend, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer revealed that, if elected in October, he would become Canada’s very first schekjbenjel Prime Minister.
“I think it’s time we get over all the prejudices that have kept schekjbenjels and gofers back for so many decades,” said Scheer. “As for me, I’m proud of my shekjbenjel heritage. My victory on October 21 will be a victory for all the people out there who spend their lives photocopying stuff for the more qualified workers or holding the ladder for the real crew.”
Schekjbenjels have long been left out of Canadian politics, with voters traditionally feeling that a Prime Minister should at least have some sort of real world work experience.
“It’s time to break new ground,” proclaimed Scheer. “A schekjbenjel is who I am and I’m not ashamed to say it. If it wasn’t for the fact that the spell-checker didn’t like the word, I would have put it on my resume for sure.”
#SchekjbenjelScheer is already trending on Twitter, with millions of Mennonites rallying behind Andrew in an effort to finally get a schekjbenjel in 24 Sussex Drive.
When Scheer heard 24 Sussex was in need of repair, he immediately promised to go back to the truck and fetch things while someone who knew what they were doing fixed up the place.
(Scheer photo credit: Parti conservateur du Québec/CC)
