GOSHEN, IN
Local woman Mrs. Dorothy Shenk, 71, passed away this week after being asked to serve on yet another church committee. Before her untimely death by committee, Mrs. Shenk was happily serving on the South Goshen Mennonite Church’s pulpit, missions, stewardship, finance, nominating, music, deacons, trustees, fellowship, congregational care, outreach, building, gift discernment, wellness, shoofly pie, feasability, history, diaper pinning, special function, gymnasium, peace and social justice, and library committees.
“She was gladly serving the Lord for decades, never turning down an opportunity to sit around a table drinking coffee and accomplishing nothing,” said friend and fellow South Goshen member Mrs. Gingerich. “It was all going well until she was asked to serve on the Christian Education committee. That’s what finally did her in I think.”
The South Goshen Mourning committee was quick to take charge of the situation and make arrangements for the funeral, while the Maintain the Status Quo committee ensured that this sort of thing was bound to happen again.
“We don’t want Mrs. Shenk to have died in vain,” said Public Relations committee leader Mr. Hershberger. “That’s why we’ve formed a new Mrs. Shenk Commemoration committee and a nine-member Everything Happens for a Reason committee to reassure the congregation.”
The Committee-forming committee did not immediately approve the application from a fringe group of South Gosheners to form a Committee to End Committees Committee, but said they would discuss it at the next committee meeting.
Since passing away, Mrs. Shenk plans to volunteer on as many heavenly committees as is humanly possible, including the Keep the Streets Paved with Gold committee and the Keep the Lutherans Out committee.
