WINNIPEG, MB
The leader of southern Manitoba’s largest anti-pants cult was spotted at the Winnipeg airport this week wearing a freshly-pressed pair of men’s slacks.
“Well, unfortunately they don’t let you board the plane in just your skivvies,” said cult leader affectionately known as Timmy Tee. “I wish we could sit there in our tighty-whities the way God intended, but the evil rulers of this world simply won’t allow it. We all have to wear pants sometimes.”
His new pro-pants position has considerably undermined his credibility with his anti-pants followers, with many wondering just what other rules their leader breaks when they’re not looking.
“Na, I don’t know about that yet. I mean, next thing you know we’ll find a pool table in his basement,” said one of Timmy’s devotees, strutting her stuff in a modest nightgown. “I mean if even the pastor wears pants, then what about the rest of us? Are we supposed to wear pants sometimes, too?”
In a press-conference later in the day, Timmy clarified that his movement was all about personal freedom, but that his actions should in no way be misconstrued as a license for women to wear pants.
