WASHINGTON, DC
White House physicians are getting really concerned after President Joe Biden has started to complain that all the rich and spicy food he was eating was starting to taste “as bland as Mennonite food.”
“As soon as he compared his chile relleno to cottage cheese perogies we knew there was an issue,” said White House Doctor Timmy Trajchtmoaka. “I held a bowl of chicken tikka masala in front of his face and he said it smelled faintly of day old funeral raisin buns.”
Physicians are working around the clock to get the President’s smell and taste back to normal, but the origin of this problem is still a mystery.
“Plus, I’m not really sure where he first was exposed to Mennonite food anyway,” said Trajchtmoaka. “Maybe a campaign stop in Goessel, Kansas?”
Biden’s been adding a heck of a lot of salt to all his food lately, just to get it to taste like something.
“I sure hope I make a speedy recovery,” said Biden. “Otherwise I don’t think I’ll ever be able to enjoy Schezuan food again. Not if it tastes like nothing more than wet cottage cheese and a few green beans.”
Medical experts are confident Biden’s senses will return, though they still are quite concerned he might flub all the Low German words in an upcoming speech.
