Vice President Peters? Mennonites Shocked to Discover Joe Biden Using a Mennonite Pseudonym

WASHINGTON, DC

House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer is demanding to see the unredacted document that link then Vice President Joe Biden to various Mennonite pseudonyms, including Robert Peters, I.P. Fast, and Ona Bender.

“We need to get to the bottom of this, because I don’t know what is going on here with all these Mennonite aliases,” said Comer. “The American people need to know if their Commander in Chief is involved in some nefarious plot to let the pacifists take over.”

Other names linked to Biden include Corny Reimer, I.B. Friesen, and Harry and Anita Dyck.

“It’s a strange pattern of pseudonyms and has me really curious,” said Comer. “I mean what’s next, Ivana Petkau and I.C. Toews?”

It’s not known how Biden decided upon these highly Mennonite aliases, but Comer has a few theories.

“Like many Americans, he may have been under the false impression that Mennonites don’t use the Internet,” said Comer. “He probably felt he could swipe any Menno name he felt like.”

The contents of the emails have yet to be disclosed, but early reports indicate that much of the discussion involves how to keep the public from finding out about Hunter Biden’s addiction to “knackzoat”.

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