NIVERVILLE, MB
After the Niverville Heritage Centre was not large enough to accommodate the crowd of concerned Nivervillians this week, residents are demanding a meeting at Princess Auto Stadium.
“We must have room for every man, woman, and child in Niverville … even the ones who are merely curious rather than deeply concerned,” said area resident Dietrich Plett. “That 32,000-seat stadium is the only place big enough to fit all 6,000 of us.”
Plett says that if those Winnipegers want Niverville part of their metro region, they’re going to have to rent out the stadium once in a while.
“Plus provide us a nice spread of pickles and cheese curds,” said Plett. “Quite frankly, I think the original meeting would have gone a lot more smoothly had there been a nice faspa provided.”
Plett is also requesting a half-time performance by the Queen City Kids or at the very least those entertaining stunt dogs.
“I’m willing to be a Winnipeger,” said Plett, “just as long as they don’t send all the crime and potholes our way.”
For their willingness to participate, Niverville is demanding that all Winnipegers speak fluent Low German by the year 2050. Meanwhile, residents of Morden and Winkler are wondering why they weren’t consulted before Statistics Canada lumped them together as the same metro region.
(photo credit: Winnipeg Blue Bombers/CC)
