WINNIPEG, MB
In a historic agreement, Mennonite denominations across the province have come together in a united front to ban all cellphones in church this fall.
“Look we know the sermon’s boring, but we can’t have you checking Facebook the whole time,” said Art Giesbrecht, moderator of the EMMBGC conference. “It’s a real distraction from learning all the begats in Genesis 5.”
At first the ban was going to be only for young children, but the leaders felt the sermons were getting pretty boring even for the adults.
“We knew something had to be done,” said Giesbrecht. “Just last week, we caught Mrs. Kroeker reading The Unger Review right in the middle of the service. The shame of it!”
The move follows after Mennonite churches across the country have enacted similar bans.
“I’m hoping all the other denominations follow suit,” said Giesbrecht. “I know several Lutherans who could use a little less screen time.”
While Mennonites will be without cellphones this fall, the ban has not yet reached into the province’s largest megachurches, who say there’s no need since they have plenty of pyrotechnics to keep the congregation entertained for 90 minutes.
