OTTAWA, ON
In a shocking move this afternoon, Mennonite Brethren leader Jack Siemens pulled out of the agreement keeping the GCs as the most powerful Mennonite denomination in Canada.
“We didn’t like how they were siding with all the big baptism and communion suppliers,” said Siemens. “So, as of today, we’re going to stop sending disgruntled MBers over to GC churches.”
Without the disgruntled MBers to prop them up, it’s not known how long the GCers will last.
“I think this strategy will backfire,” said Mennonite church pundit Chantel Hiebert. “All this will do is lead to a surge in popularity for the EMC.”
The EMC pounced on the opportunity, urging dissatisfied Mennonites to consider showing up at their churches on Sunday morning and calling the whole thing a “publicity stunt.”