STEINBACH, MB
Steinbach, Manitoba was settled by 18 righteous and pure Mennonite families some 150 years ago, and after all this time the community has managed to remain completely sinless.
“We made it. We finally made it! To be honest, we were worried about those Unger boys for a while,” said Pastor Ralph. “But as it turns out, they haven’t committed any sins either.”
This sinlessness has been attributed to limited transportation options, good solid preaching, and plenty of farmer sausage.
“Plus we’ve got a very active Committee to Keep Out the Sinners,” said Pastor Ralph. “And so far only a handful of Lutherans have snuck past us.”
Steinbach provides young people with recreational activities like Dutch Blitz, crokinole, and choir practice.
“You know what they say about idle hands,” said Pastor Ralph. “As long as you keep on knipsing, you don’t have time to sin.”
Steinbach’s sinless status has remained unquestioned for a century-and-a-half, but this is mostly because the ones making the declaration haven’t discovered that microbrewery on Main Street yet.