WASHINGTON, DC
Elon Musk had nearly made back all the money he’s lost in the last couple months after a generous purchase by President Trump.
“It’s very bad what they’ve done to Elon. Very bad,” said Trump. “But I bought a Tesla. Paid $100 billion for it. Very good. Very smart. The smartest.”
The Tesla model S normally goes for less than a hundred grand, but Trump felt they wouldn’t be a drop in the bucket.
“I’m a master negotiator,” said Trump. “I told that salesman I wouldn’t pay less than a hundred billion for this thing. He hemmed and hawed, talked to the manager, and I walked out of that dealership with a brand new car.”
Trump was seen driving his new car on the White House lawn.
“Some people wonder where I got the money,” said Trump. “But when you’re dealing with a man who’s bankrupted half a dozen companies, you don’t ask questions like that. Nobody knows bankruptcy like me. Nobody.”
According to Tesla’s new business report, total sales for the quarter equals one.