WINKLER, MB
Expert dog breeder, Mr. Peter Fehr, 59, of Winkler, has worked for more than three decades to create a new dog breed: the Low German Shepherd. Thanks to a lot of blood, sweat and tears, as well as the prayers of the entire Fehr clan, his hard work has finally paid off!
“Oba, well, I tried feeding his mother roll kuchen and platz, but all it did was make her fat yet,” said Fehr. “I found out the hard way dat the only ting what works is to take the mother to evening service for a year or so. Dan the puppies come out just right!”
The new puppies, who bark in fluent Plautdietsch, are the first of their kind, but Fehr promises they will not be the last.
“Jauma lied! There are peoples in Vankla who want a good Low German Shepherd yet,” said Fehr. “I can’t keep up with the demand.”
Instead of responding to usual commands like “stay,” “sit,” and “roll over,” the Low German Shepherd will only obey orders such as “bliewe,” “sette,” and “waut de schissjat!”
“My little hunt Pieta is very spashal to me,” said Fehr. “Nowadays Mr. Friesen and Corner Kornelsen and even the Petkau sisters have been coming to me and wanting to breed mit Pieta, but I just say no. Pieta, the Low German Shepherd, is not just breeding with anyone who shows a little interest yet!”
All the regular High German Shepherds were very sad to hear the news and held a meeting in the Lutheran church to decide what to do.
“That Plautdietsch dog is putting us regular German Shepherds out of work,” said Heinz, a well-loved puppy in the area. “I think it’s time we moved to the city!”
In other news, the Rottweilers and Dachshunds have petitioned the Winkler mayor to ban all attempts at breeding anymore Low German-speaking canines.
(photo credit: Ron Bennetts/CC)
