CHILLIWACK, BC
Mrs. Brandt of Chilliwack has often been asked to share her delicious recipes with others, but, so far, not a single person has been able to replicate her dishes.
“I don’t know what it is, but whenever I cook up a batch of Mrs. Brandt’s Famous Summa Borscht, it feels like there’s something missing,” said local mom Susan Wiebe. “Oh, well, I guess I’m just not the cook that Mrs. Brandt is.”
Mrs. Brandt claims it’s all in the technique and says it doesn’t surprise her at all that other people struggle to match her greatness.
“You can use my recipes if you want, but I guarantee you, it’ll never taste the same,” said Mrs. Brandt. “These young cooks just don’t know what they’re doing.”
Mrs. Brandt says she provided more than a dozen recipes to her daughter-in-law Lucy, and, yet, for some strange reason, her son still makes a point of stopping by for home cooking once in a while.
“Lucy is a nice girl, but she can’t cook like I can!” exclaimed Mrs. Brandt. “Try as you might to cook my recipes, you can never beat the real thing!”
Mrs. Brandt denies rumours that she’s been deliberately sabotaging the recipes and claims that she “never has any troubles.”
“I don’t know what Lucy’s problem is,” said Mrs. Brandt. “The recipes always turn out fine for me!”
