STEINBACH, MB
An hour-long power outage in Steinbach this afternoon left employees at the local church pew factory with a little too much time on their hands. The outage resulted in more than fifteen new Mennonite couples and three new pregnancies.
“It’s always like this whenever the power goes out,” said Stan Buhler, manager at Stony Brook Church Pews. “When it’s dark in here for more than a few minutes, the workers start to get bored, one thing leads to another, and next thing you know Brenda’s on mat-leave again.”
Although some local companies have discouraged office and/or factory romances, the church pew factory has had trouble deterring the behaviour.
“The work is pretty monotonous. Plus you’re standing around breathing in varnish and sawdust all day; you’re bound to get ideas,” said Buhler. “As much as I’d prefer not to see it, it’s unavoidable. I mean I myself met my wife Susan in the dipping department back in ’87.”
Census figures suggest that Stony Brook Church Pews has produced more offspring in the last twenty years than Penner Foods and all the church College and Career groups combined. Much of this, experts say, is due to power outages.
“I’ve been waiting to have this power outage with my man for quite some time now,” said church pew sander and expectant mother Brenda B. “As soon as the lights went out I made a beeline for the loading dock and found Dan.”
The happy couple plan to get married during a power outage sometime this July.