VITA, MB
Mr. Schwartzenbeilersnider of over near Vita was completely baffled this week when he stopped at the post office in town and found something called a ‘Carbon Tax Relief Fund’ cheque from the Manitoba government.
“We use a lot of oats and hay, but I don’t remember the last time I payed a carbon tax,” said Schwartzenbeilersnider. “Ahh, well, I guess this piece of paper is good enough to stoke the fire tonight.”
In general, the Amish do not accept government assistance, and this particular cheque had Schwartzenbeilersnider baffled.
“I guess they assume I’m driving a Toyota or something,” said Schwartzenbeilersnider. “Well, I really don’t appreciate the accusation.”
The Manitoba government has admitted they didn’t really think this thing through, having distributed the cheques randomly and not based on whether or not or to what degree the recipient was using fossil fuels.
“I heard even those liberal city Anabaptists in their Teslas were getting carbon tax relief cheques,” said Schwartzenbeilersnider. “Well, at least we have that in common.”
Any unwanted carbon tax relief fund cheques can be sent to:
Andrew Unger, PO Box 606, Steinbach, MB, ROA 2A0
