HAIFA, ISRAEL
Scientists at Haifa University were shocked to discover a recipe for the dry Mennonite bread known as “zwieback” in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The fragment was the last to be translated and the first to contain anything from the Mennonite Treasury Cookbook.
“It’s remarkable. For years, I thought my Grandma Schultz invented zwieback. But it seems the recipe goes back a lot farther than that,” said Timothy Schultz of Mountain Lake. “This new information reaffirms my faith in our traditional Mennonite recipes.”
Experts claim the recipe has remained unchanged for thousands of years and is identical to Mrs. Friesen’s recipe in the Mennonite Treasury.
“What can I say? The Lord preserves his Word,” said Reverend Unger. “Centuries of toil and strife have not been able to stamp out our Scriptures. The zwieback recipe we’re using now is exactly the one used centuries ago, without one single jot or tittle changed!”
The Zwieback Fragment is considered very precious and extremely fragile. As such, it will be preserved using the very best techniques known to Mennonites: putting it in a ziplock bag and tossing it in the church kitchen freezer next to the liverwurst.