CHILLIWACK, BC
One area man is on a mission this afternoon to figure out whether people who saw things differently than him in the recent election are either utterly stupid or unredeemably evil.
“About 58% of the population voted differently than I did,” said Andy, “which means the vast majority of our country are wicked or stupid–it has to be one of the two.”
Andy says he was really leaning towards evil earlier this morning, but once he calmed down, he realized it was probably just stupidity.
“The only problem with that is some of these folks probably voted for my side last time,” said Andy. “So they’re inconsistent in their profound stupidity, which is even more stupid.”
Andy says he’s not willing to consider any other options apart from these two, and plans to ask everyone he meets how they voted and then call each and everyone one of them a dirty word if they don’t give the right answer.
“I expect to get a call from Party headquarters really soon,” said Andy. “The best way to win people over to your side is to make quick judgments about their intelligence and/or moral standing.”
Meanwhile 58% of the Canadian population is also trying to figure out whether Andy is evil or just stupid.
