The Daily Bonnet
Your 2025 Mennonite Oscar Nominees
It’s that time of year again once yet. The Oscars! Well, of course, as Mennonite we don’t watch movies, except we all know Onkel Oscar who owns a TV behind the barn out back and […]
Articles by Andrew
Unger the Influence
Trump Imposes Strict New Oval Office Dress Code
WASHINGTON, DC Starting this week, US President Donald Trump will be imposed a strict Amish-inspired dress code in the White House. “It’s gotten pretty slack around around here,” said Trump. “And, you know, of all […]
The Daily Bonnet
Mennonites Excited for New ‘Nut Kroeker’ Ballet
WINNIPEG, MB After centuries of strict opposition to dancing of any sort, a new radical sect of Mennonites is set to perform the world’s first Anabaptist ballet – the Nut Kroeker. “It will surely become […]
Unger the Influence
Andrew Unger Banned from White House Press Pool
WASHINGTON, DC “There’s been far too much shputting for far too long.” This from White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt, who has banned Mennonite satirist Andrew Unger from the press pool in Washington, DC. “He’s […]
Unger Suspicion
Winnipeg Road Workers Out Installing Fresh New Potholes
WINNIPEG, MB It’s that time of year again. Construction crews are out in earnest this week trying to keep up with the demand for new 2025 potholes. “It’s a lot of work,” said veteran road […]