OTTAWA, ON
Deciding that the “whole crazy experiment” of having a diverse range of opinions in his caucus and cabinet was a “bad idea” after all, Prime Minister Trudeau has removed Jody Wilson-Raybould and Jane Philpott after they held him accountable for his bullshit.
“Because it’s 2019,” said Trudeau, feeling completely justified in his actions. “What more do I need to say?”
Apparently, Trudeau believes that integrity, transparency and diversity “are outdated 2015 values that no longer apply.”
“Had I known I would be appointing honest and ethical individuals to my cabinet, I never would have given them the jobs in the first place,” he said during a breakfast meeting. “From now on I’m going to get these people properly vetted to make sure a travesty of this magnitude never occurs again.”
Trudeau said this move should not come as a surprise.
“Hey, come on now, you should have seen this coming the moment I lied about electoral reform,” said Trudeau, while wolfing down his bacon and eggs. “Can we all get back to talking about cannabis now?”
At the end of the press conference the bacon was all consumed, but the egg was all over the Prime Minister’s face.
(photo credit: Steve Jurvetson/CC)