MOOSE CURRENT, SK
It didn’t take until the end of the first Intro to New Testament class for Moose Current Bible College to record its first nasty breakup of the year.
“Not sure why we had to get into a pre-Trib post-Trib debate on the first day of school,” said heartbroken student Christopher Bergmann. “I guess it’s just as well I find out quickly that I was dating a staunch post-Tribber.”
Sparks flew during an early morning Dutch Blitz match, but soon descended into chaos for Christopher and his girlfriend Mary Wiens.
“You can’t judge a Mennonite man before breakfast,” said Wiens. “I should have waited until at least the afternoon Old Testament class before agreeing to that promise ring.”
Bergmann and Wiens are each holed up in their dorm rooms, distraught over the breakup.
“I never thought I’d be the first of the semester,” weeped Bergmann. “They say the first cut is the deepest …”
The school has offered support for the couple, including a pat on the back from the RA and a free cabbage roll in the cafeteria.
“It’s not all bad,” said Moose Current President Michael Braun. “An early breakup like this leaves plenty of time for that ‘ring by spring.'”