FOUR MOUNTAINS, BC
A local Bible school is taking drastic measures to prevent the spread of the pandemic by expanding the six-inch buffer zone between opposite-gender students to a full six feet.
“We’ve always taken social distancing seriously around here,” said school chancellor Dr. Billy Klassen of Four Mountains Bible School, “but we’ve decided to up our game. Quite frankly I was always a little uncomfortable with our policy as it was.”
For the past few years the policy had slipped to allow side hugs between young women and men, but now even that is not allowed.
“We used to say that everyone should keep a Bible’s width apart,” said Dr. Klassen. “Now we’re saying you need to use the Complete John MacArthur 33 Volume New Testament Commentary set as a measuring tool.”
It’s not just the pandemic that has motivated the decision.
“We’ll see how things go,” said Dr. Klassen. “If we see the dramatic decline in first semester marriage proposals, I think we’ll make this a permanent change.”
Dr. Klassen was devastated to hear that his wife Martha would also be imposing a ‘six foot’ rule on their marriage.