BRANDON, MB
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman announced an expanded NHL playoff schedule that will include more than three thousand teams, including the Brandon Wheat Kings, Winkler Flyers, and Avangard Omsk.
“After all the hardship we’ve gone through, we really wanted to make sure no one was left out this year,” said Bettman today from this underground Gotham City lair. “The last thing we’d want is to hurt someone’s feelings.”
Wheat Kings fans were enthusiastic about their chances versus the Washington Capitols.
“Ovechkin’s got nothing on our Luka Burzan,” said Wheat Kings fan Darryl Thiessen. “Plus, I’d much rather have our Jiri Patera between the pipes than 5-time NHL All-Star and former Vezina winner Braden Holtby.”
The new playoff format will also see first seed Boston Bruins face off against 3000th seed Dalmeny Novice Sabres.
“It’s going to be a wild ride and I guarantee you there’ll be some surprises,” said Bettman. “No one can predict what will happen in the 2020 playoffs.”
Although much uncertainty remains, the one thing every hockey fan was absolutely sure of was the Toronto Maple Leafs were going absolutely nowhere yet again this year.
(photo credit: John Johnston/CC)