NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON
In a mass display of solidarity, Canadians have banded together to eat more than 80 million heaping plates of delicious poutine in a single day.
“Plus we unveiled a massive Canadian flag on our front lawn,” said Niagara-On-the-Lake resident Sally Siemens. “I just had to make sure a freedom convoy person didn’t come by and turn it upside down.”
The poutine and patriotism was on full display across the nation, with Canadians trying to fuel up for the upcoming trade war.
“We’ve got poutine; all they’ve got is Chic-fil-a. I think we’ve got the upper hand,” said Siemens. “Just imagine how starving their soldiers will be every Sunday.”
Several medical experts have advised against consuming this level of poutine, though studies show most North Americans have replaced medical expertise with Google searches years ago.
“Cheese curds, fries, gravy. What more can you want?” said Siemens. “Well I guess a little bacon or farmer sausage thrown on there doesn’t hurt.”
Further investigation has revealed a full 75 million plates of that poutine were actually consumed by a lone Mennonite man named Harry from out near Leamington somewheres.
(photo credit: Joe Shlabotnik/CC)
