MONTREAL, QC
In honour of his unique legacy, specifically the 1993 election, the seating capacity at former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney’s funeral has been reduced to 2.
“We know that the Notre Dame in Montreal can fit a lot more than that,” said the event organizer, “but we felt we needed to recognize Canada’s greatest Prime Minister in this way. So 2 seats it is.”
It’s not yet known who will be given the highly-prized seats, but several notable candidates have already denied rumours they were selected.
“Even I didn’t get a spot,” said Kim Campbell. “I’m not sure who those lucky 2 folks are, but I think maybe Jean Charest got an invite.”
Meanwhile, rumours out of Calgary suggest that rebel small-c conservative Preston Manning has already rented out the church to hold various Reform Party rallies starting next week.
“We don’t have any funerals planned … yet,” said Manning, “but I hope we call fill up half the place with a bunch of my rowdy friends for several years, after which we’ll implode with infighting and be forced to rejoin the PCs once again.”
The funeral, which is not large enough to reach official funeral status, is still estimated to cost $2.3 million … plus GST, of course.