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    • The Daily Bonnet
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    • Unger & Thirst
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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Rowdy Steinbach Hockey Fan Dumps Schmaunt Fat All Over Winkler Man

September 18, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Things got pretty intense on Friday at the junior hockey game between fierce rivals the Steinbach Windmills and Winkler Teetotalers. Security guards were unable to prevent one overly passionate Steinbach fan from dumping […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Impresses Many With His Ability to Open Stubborn Pickle Jars

September 12, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local strong man Art P. Blatz, 51, is renowned throughout the area for his ability to open pickle jars that no one else can seem to get open, even after running hot water […]

Unger & Thirst

Fraser Valley Man Dunks Donut, Sparks Massive Theological Debate

September 11, 2016 Andrew

CLEARBROOK, BC Little did Elmer Friesen know when he dunked his chocolate glazed donut in his coffee at the local Tim Hortons, that this small act would spark a theological feud with neighbouring coffee drinkers. […]

Unger & Thirst

Pastor Declares Self-Service Corn Stand an ‘Evil Temptress’

August 31, 2016 Andrew

PEMBINA VALLEY, MB Every year in August the honesty and integrity of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley is put to the test as local farmers set up self-service corn stands at the end of their […]

Unger & Thirst

Archaeologists Excavate Thick Layer of Sunflower Seeds on Car Floor

August 29, 2016 Andrew

WARMAN, SK More than twenty years of knackzoat accumulation, amounting to over three hundred kilos, has been excavated from the car floor of local couple Barney and Ethel Kehler of Warman. The Kehlers have been knacking zoat onto […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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