WINKLER, MB Dozens of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley are desperately scouring their ancestry books to find a relation to recently departed musician Prince. “I had never heard of him before, but I just know […]
In a recent interview with Fox News, Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump suggested that the best way to solve America’s problems is to build a giant wall to prevent the flow of Mennonites into the country. […]
GRUNTHAL, MB Ecstatic monarchists across the Southeast region are lining the streets in anticipation of Queen Victoria’s visit. Her Majesty, now nearly 200, is rumoured to arrive in Manitoba early Monday morning and will make stops […]
OTTAWA, ON Provencher MP Ted Falk managed to escape the House of Commons unharmed as a brutal elbow attack ravaged Parliament Hill on Thursday. “Those things are sharp, especially the Prime Minister’s,” commented Falk, still […]
WASHINGTON, DC A pair of delightful mittens worn by Bernie Sanders were sworn in as President of the United States earlier today. “I’m going to be a President for all Americans, not just those with […]
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