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‘Choose the band from this list I have not seen in concert’: by Uncle Corny Loewen

April 28, 2017 Andrew

BY: ONKEL CORNY LOEWEN Oba, so on the Internets I noticed all these Enjelsch people posting lists of the music groups they have gone to see at the local barn loft or whatever. Well, I’ve gone […]

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Nordstrom Sells $600 ‘Authentic Mennonite-Worn’ Dirty Jeans

April 27, 2017 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Mennonite hog farmers across North America are ecstatic at the new opportunity to sell their old dirty sweaty jeans at a huge profit to Nordstrom. “I don’t know why those English want our […]

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Dozens of MPs Come Forward During House of Commons Altar Call

April 18, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Not wanting to miss an opportunity to spread the Good News, back bench opposition MP Pete Friesen of Saskatchewan stood up during Question Period this past week and invited everyone to come forward and confess their […]

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Albertans Gladly ‘Render Unto Notley What is Notley’s’

April 11, 2017 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Three months after Alberta Premier Rachel Notley introduced a new carbon tax in the oil rich province, millions of Albertans have responded with unprecedented positivity that pundits have described as “remarkably Christlike.” “We’re seeing a […]

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Mennonite Woman Jumps Out of Giant Shoofly Pie at Church Picnic

March 24, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Harkening back to raunchy bachelor parties of the 1950s, the Southeast Lancaster MMCC church decided to surprise guests at their annual spring picnic by having Mrs. Agnes Bender, 83, pop out of a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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