TORONTO, ON
CBC News has hired Mennonite satirist Andrew Unger to “churn out a bunch of fake satirical news stories” in order to get around Facebook’s blockage of Canadian news sites.
“Make up whatever you want,” said CBC President Catherine Tait. “By all means, you can even make up fake quotes and satirically claim that I said it. You have my blessing.”
Unger began the day by writing a story about Justin Trudeau’s marital discord and Taylor Swift’s grand tour of Toronto, but soon discovered that those were real news items.
“It’s hard to make up fake news these days,” said Unger. “I guess the best I could come up with was a story about how I’d been hired by CBC. I mean, who would believe that?”
CBC’s news coverage also saw a huge surge in articles about schmaunt fat.
“Hey, if they ask for Andrew Unger, they’re going to get Andrew Unger,” said Unger from his new mansion in Toronto’s trendy Danforth neighbourhood. “Besides I’ve always thought CBC news had a bit of a liberal bias against schmaunt fat.”
Meanwhile, Ezra Levant has already started a petition to get CBC reinstated on Facebook, since according to him “it’s no better than the Beaverton.”