Chaste Young Mennonite Man Fully Intends to Pay Before He Pumps

ALTONA, MB

Area man Guillermo Wiens, 19, was absolutely flummoxed by the “pay before you pump” sign at the local gas station this afternoon.

“Why would such a sign even be necessary?” wondered Wiens. “What is this world coming to? Are some people out there actually pumping without paying?”

Wiens says he’s a firm believer that one should not “buy the cow if you get the milk for free,” and says this also applies to paying before pumping.

“Martha says I need to ‘put a ring on it first,'” said Wiens, “and Lord willing I’ll have saved up enough for a lovely cubic zirconia by this summer. Then the real pumping can begin.”

Wiens’s fiance Martha, however, says there’s more to marriage than just “paying before you pump.”

“I mean there are three other sets of cards, aren’t there?” said Martha. “As far as I’m concerned, the young men should also be paying before they buggy, barrel and plow too!”

(photo credit: Mike Mozart/CC)

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