MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN
How many Mennonites does it take to change a lightbulb? Two … plus one of those wooden church basement chairs.
For centuries Mennonites have called upon the wooden church basement chair to help out with a variety of household tasks from cleaning the gutters to changing lightbulbs.
“I’m sure glad Martha procured one of these church basement chairs all those years ago,” said Abe Buhr of Mountain Lake. “It says ‘Property of the EMB’ on the back, but that’s okay, we are members after all.”
Over the years the local EMB church has been slowly depleted of their basement chairs, which has created a real pickle during faspas and wedding receptions.
“We have to ask everyone to bring theirs from home,” said Anne Klassen, head of the Mountain Lake EMB Faspa and Funeral Committee. “We don’t ask any questions. We have an amnesty policy. Just bring back the church basement chairs, please!”
Church basement chairs are thought to be the old vessels strong enough to support a full grown Mennonite and are a full $75 cheaper than a step ladder at the hardware store.
“We’ve even heard of some Mennonite taking them to the job site,” said Mrs. Klassen. “We don’t care where these chairs have been, just return them in good working order.”
Mountain Lake EMB plans to hold a faspa/bulb changing festival sometime this fall.