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Church Puppets Shock Congregation by Appearing Completely Naked

ELKHART, IN

Hundreds of parishioners ran screaming out of the auditorium at Westside Mennonite Church this past week, after a pair of puppets, Chester and Melissa, appeared on stage without any clothes on. The move to have the puppets appear au naturel was brought on after a recent budget cut.

“Run for your lives!” yelled Mrs. Krabill, dragging her curious husband out of the building. “It’s just a bare hand!”

The bare hands continued their jovial conversation and even provided a nice little story from the Book of Acts, but by then the sanctuary was more or less empty.

“Close your eyes, Henry!” yelled Mrs. Krabill. “I’ve never seen such a blatant disregard for decency and modesty in all my life!”

Mrs. Krabill said she’s considering attending a different church after the terrible experience she had on Sunday morning.

“I knew this place had gotten liberal, but I had no idea the puppets would go out there without any clothes on!” said Mrs. Krabill. “Just imagine what our forefathers would think!”

The next Sunday, Chester was sporting a felt hat and Melissa was wearing a ribbon, but this still was seen as a little too bare for most of the congregation.

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