According to recent media portrayal, Mennonites are a simple people who live in community, wear funny clothes, and smuggle drugs from Mexico. However, this characterization is a little misleading as there is wide diversity in Mennonite circles. This handy guide will help you determine whether you are a liberal or conservative Mennonite, or something in between.
- I often wear suspenders and/or a homemade dress (30 points)
- I wear a belt and/or a store-bought dress (20 points)
- I wear tight jeans with rips in them (5 points)
- I am a nudist (0 points)
- I wear whatever the elders tell me to (50 points)
- I live with my cousins (30 points)
- I live within 1 square mile of my cousins (20 points)
- I have met my cousins (5 points)
- I don’t have any cousins (0 points)
- I am my own cousin (50 points)
- I’m not a hipster, and yet I have a full beard (30 points)
- I have a moustache (20 points)
- I skip shaving once in a while (5 points)
- My skin is as smooth as a baby’s bottom (0 points)
- I am a woman who prefers men with full beards (50 points)
- I feel I have my own pew in church and get mad if anyone else sits in it (30 points)
- I occasionally allow visitors to sit in my pew (20 points)
- I sit in a different spot each Sunday (5 points)
- My church uses chairs not pews (0 points)
- We sit on straw bales (50 points)
- I sit exclusively with people of my own gender while in church (30 points)
- I sit with my own family (20 points)
- I sit with people of my own gender but that’s only because I’m unattractive to the opposite sex (5 points)
- I sit with a diverse range of people in church (0 points)
- I started my own church with my own rules (50 points)
- Mode of transportation: Automobile with bumpers painted black (30 points)
- Mode of transportation: Pickup truck or minivan (20 points)
- Mode of transportation: American car (5 points)
- Mode of transportation: European or Japanese car (0 points)
- Mode of transportation: Horse and buggy (50 points)
- I watch television exclusively for sporting events (30 points)
- In addition to sports, I also watch G-rated movies and television shows (20 points)
- I watch movies only in the privacy of my own home (5 points)
- I watch movies in the theatre (0 points)
- What are movies? (50 points)
- I have removed the radio from my car (30 points)
- I listen exclusively to hymns and funeral announcements on the radio (20 points)
- I listen to Christian rock (5 points)
- I listen to Black Sabbath (0 points)
- To entertain the family during long drives, we sing ‘Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow’ a cappella (50 points)
- I don’t vote because I’m ideologically opposed to it (30 points)
- I don’t vote because I’m lazy (20 points)
- I vote, but I always vote for a Mennonite (5 points)
- I am a Member of Parliament (0 points)
- I believe ‘The Kingdom of God is not of this World’ (50 points)
- I have fled to another country because the one I was living in was too worldly (30 points)
- My ancestors did (20 points)
- I like to complain about the country I live in, but don’t do much about it (5 points)
- I believe everything here is awesome (0 points)
- My colony/town/farm/village/bungalow has declared itself an independent state (50 points)
- I regularly attend a conservative Mennonite church (30 points)
- I regularly attend an ‘evangelical’ Mennonite church (20 points)
- I regularly attend a (formerly called) General Conference Church (5 points)
- I don’t attend church at all (0 points)
- I don’t attend church at all because they’re all too liberal (50 points)
- I read a German Bible (30 points)
- I read a King James Bible (20 points)
- I read the NIV, ESV, or NASB (10 points)
- I read The Message (5 points)
- I don’t read the Bible (0 points)
- I’m not allowed to bring my own Bible to church (50 points)
Points:
- 500 or more: Ultra-conservative
- 400-500: Conservative
- 300-400: Moderate
- 200-300: Liberal
- 100-200: Secular
- 1-100: Heathen
(photo credit: by nha.library)
