TORONTO, ON
Executives at Rogers have had absolutely enough of Don Cherry’s controversial remarks and are demanding that the 85-year-old hockey commentator “meet them half-way” and give “like, you know, at least a sincere-looking half-hearted apology,” if he wants to get his job back.
“Don’t worry about it, Don,” said a Rogers PR rep. “We’ve got writers for that. All you have to do is read the script and shed a tear or two. The public loves a good old-fashioned fake apology.”
Insincere apologies have saved the careers of many celebrities and politicians as of late and Rogers is really hoping they can coax one out of their Hockey Night in Canada star.
“We need you, Don! Canada needs you! Our ratings need you!” said the PR rep. “Canada loves your hockey insight, your off-the-cuff remarks, and your penchant for completely insincere apologies.”
If they can’t convince Don Cherry, Rogers is hoping they can at least get another experienced Fake Apologizer in the seat next to Ron MacLean by the weekend.
(photo credit: Ross Dunn/CC)