WASHINGTON, DC
Just days after Donald Trump told Fox News that he planned to build a wall to keep Mennonites out of the country, the Republican Presidential hopeful is now accusing outgoing President Obama of being a “secret Mennonite.”
“All I’m saying is I want to see his baptism certificate,” said Trump at a recent New Mexico rally. “We’ve gotta know his precise denominational affiliation if he’s going to continue these last few weeks as leader of the free world.”
Trump showed reporters a blurry Polaroid picture of a youthful Barack Obama in suspenders and a straw hat.
“If this isn’t proof the man’s a Mennonite, I don’t know what is,” said Trump. “I’m sure he would have attended Justice Scalia’s funeral if it had been held at some old wooden church in Goshen, Indiana.”
In response, the Hillary campaign released a number of compromising photographs of a young Donald Trump with his arm around several modestly-dressed Amish and Hutterite women at a Manhattan nightclub.
“That’s old news,” said Trump. “Sure, I’ve enjoyed the company of conservative Anabaptist women before. Who hasn’t? But it doesn’t mean anything. All we were doing was playing Dutch Blitz.”
Obama, who was baptized at Trinity United Church in 1990, released his long-form baptism certificate later in the day.
(photo credit: Gage Skidmore/CC)
