WASHINGTON, DC
In yet another flip-flop from the position he held during the election campaign, where he threatened to build a wall to prevent Mennonites from coming into the country, Donald Trump now claims he has “tremendous love and respect for the Mennonite people.”
“I don’t see it as a flip-flop, really. People say all sorts of things during the election campaign,” said Trump during an exclusive Oval Office meeting, “I used to hate China and love Russia, and now it’s the exact opposite. Well, I’ve learned to appreciate the ways of the Mennonites as well.”
Trump says he plans to father a number of Mennonite children if he can find a willing Anabaptist lady.
“Now that I’m President, I’m privy to all sorts of information about all sorts of people,” said Trump. “Sean Spicer told me that Mennonites are great people, so I believe him.”
Trump still plans to build a wall to keep out Mexicans, but says he’ll offer a small hole, just big enough for Mennonite families with proper documentation, to squeeze through.
“You show up at the border with a proper platz recipe and you’re in,” said Trump. “Welcome to Donald Trump’s America.”
(photo credit: by Gage Skidmore/CC)