TORONTO, ON
Weeks after threatening to shut off the power to several US states, it appears that Ontario Premier Doug Ford has accidentally shut off the power to his own province.
“Yeah, ooops, I don’t know what happened there,” said Ford. “I guess I bumped the switch or something.”
More than 380,000 Ontarians have been without power this weekend, which has local leaders scrambling to figure out just what happened.
“We really have to move the kill switch to someplace a little more out of the way,” said Dave Siemens of Aylmer. “I’m not sure it needs to be by the man’s bedside table.”
While working to restore power to Ontario, Ford says now is not the time to be making jokes.
“If that Andrew Unger fellow doesn’t watch out,” said Ford, “we might just shut off the power to his computer.”
Unger pointed out that his electricity is entirely supplied by the Province of Manitoba. As of press time, there is no word yet from Wab Kinew.
