WINKLER, MB
Dozens of single Mennonite women in their fifties across the Pembina Valley are competing to see who gets stuck marrying the town’s remaining bachelor 62-year-old retired hog farmer Abe.
“Well, he’s the only single man in town,” said local woman Tina, 58. “But, I’d rather be single than marry that guy. I’ve smelled him during church potlucks. No thanks!”
Television producers from the city are hoping to film the competition in a new show called The Mennonite Bachelor.
“The biggest difference between our show and the regular version is that everyone’s speaking Plautdietsch and all the women are trying to avoid hooking up with this guy,” said the show’s producer Susan Pankratz. “It doesn’t help that he showed up on his first date with a gift of used socks from the MCC.”
There is one woman who is particularly eager to see Abe married off.
“I hope after this show he’ll finally leave the house,” said Abe’s 86-year-old mom Mary. “I’m sick of doing his laundry.”
Abe says he has no plans to move and that there’s plenty of room in his mom’s basement for his new bride.