FRESNO, CA
Recent winner of the 2024 Dunning-Kruger Award, billionaire Elon Musk has inserted himself into the political processes of nations across the globe. Recently, he decided to stick his talons into the most important election of 2025 –the Fresno EMMBC church elder board election.
“Mrs. Enns is up to no good,” tweeted Musk. “She is quite the handful in the church kitchen and is really destroying the local ice cream pail economy.”
Musk has never been to Fresno and knows little to nothing about the inner workings of the local Mennonite church, but that hasn’t stopped him from trying to get involved.
“The key to anything think like this is avoiding any education and exuding a whole lot of unwarranted confidence instead,” said Musk. “That’s how politics works, isn’t it?”
Early polls indicate Musk’s frequent tweets about the Fresno church is already having an impact on their selection of elders.
“I hear, they might even be swayed to pick a Lutheran,” said Mrs. Janzen. “It’s sad to see how a billionaire with a couple of tweets can get everyone so mixed up yet.”
