WINNIPEG, MB
After a near record-setting cold snap, the entire province of Manitoba has decided to pack their bags and move in with the Doerksens of Abbotsford.
“The Trans-Canada Highway going west is jam-packed,” said a government official. “I recommend that migrants take the Yellowhead and then cut back down into the Lower Mainland once they cross the Rockies.”
The Doerksens have already received more than a hundred distant cousins on their doorstep.
“Supposedly this guy is my fourth-cousin twice removed,” said Mr. Doerksen. “But have you seen that man’s face? Does he look like a Doerksen to you?”
So far the Doerksens have managed to accommodate all the newcomers, but some have had to sleep in the shed and a couple are camping in the back yard.
“It seems they’re not fussy,” said Doerksen. “Anything beats a winter in Manitoba.”
The Doerksens say they are happy to host the entire province of Manitoba, but if Saskatchewaners start coming they’re going to invoke the War Measures Act and send them all back to Swift Current.
(photo credit: Lance Fisher/CC)