MONTREAL, QC
After failing to meet the criteria necessary to participate in the federal leaders debate, the Green Party of Canada has been told to told to fight amongst themselves, instead, “just like the Mennonites.”
“I guess this year it’s Mennonite-style debate for us,” said party co-leader Jonathan Pedneault. “We may not be as adept as the Mennonites, but we do have some experience with in-fighting.”
The Green Party’s Mennonite-style debate will include poring over the party’s platform with a fine-tooth comb in order to fight over any trivial differences they may discover.
“If we’re truly following the pattern set by our Mennonite friends,” said co-leader Elizabeth May, “we’ll have split up into at least a couple hundred distinct parties by the end of the weekend.”
The event will take place in the basement at Green Party HQ and will include decaf coffee and huge trays of rhubarb plautz.
“You know, in-fighting is not so bad,” said May. “Beats doing what all the other parties do—-shutting down any debate and shunting folks like Ted Falk off to backbencher status.”
At press time, Provencher MP Ted Falk was considering leading a mass exodus of Mennonite MPs away from the Conservatives to the Green Party where they can freely carry on the Mennonite tradition of fighting amongst themselves.
(May photo credit: Laurel L. Russwurm/CC /modified)