CHILLIWACK, BC
Despite what it appears in their Facebook photos, the H________ family of Chilliwack is so dysfunctional that they’ve only agreed to be interviewed if we protect their identity.
“Yeah, you want to know the truth?” said Mrs. H__________. “Those photos are complete B.S. They don’t represent our real life at all.”
Mr. and Mrs. H____________ make sure to dress in matching clothes and have their teeth whitened before every photo shoot, but all of this is just a facade.
“I can’t believe people don’t know this already,” said Mrs. H__________. “But the better you look in your photos, the more totally messed up your family really is. People know that we’re just compensating, right?”
The H_____________s live in a huge house they can’t really afford, and are always decked out in the latest fashions.
“We might look good on Instagram, but really we don’t get along at all,” said Mrs. H______________. “Don’t believe it when we smile. Our whole life is one big lie.”
The H__________s will be leading worship this Sunday and, no doubt, everyone in the lobby will comment about what a “perfect family” they are.
