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French Pole Vaulter Signs Farmer Sausage Endorsement Deal

PARIS, FRANCE

A mishap on the pole vault may have cost Anthony Ammirati a medal, but he’s more than made up for it in lucrative endorsement deals. Just this week, Ammirati inked a $12 million deal to endorse authentic Mennonite farmer sausage.

“I had calls from a lot of sausage makers around the world,” said Ammirati, “but after sampling a wide variety of offerings, I decided the southern Manitoba sausages were the best fit.”

Ammirati is new to farmer sausage, but says he’s not going to consume anything else, at least for a while.

“It’s an exclusive deal, which requires me to be seen in public only with farmer sausage for the next five years,” said Ammirati. “But it pays handsomely, so I think it’s worth it. Who would have thought a mistake on the pole vault would lead to such lucrative opportunities.”

Farmer sausage makers are hoping for a surge in sales with Ammirati’s image plastered all over the packaging.

“We might even convince some Englishers to try it,” said local butcher Harry Peters. “It’s not about the money, though. We’re just doing this for the love of farmer sausage.”

While Ammirati will appear at live events throughout southern Manitoba, his contract forbids him from going anywhere near the sausage factory.

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