WASHINGTON, DC
In a moment of poetic beauty unrivalled since the time of Emily Dickinson, a staunch Putin supporter is just 10 goals away from passing a staunch Trump supporter on the NHL’s all time scoring list.
“I’m torn,” said a local hockey fan named Todd. “I love them both, so I’m not sure who to cheer for.”
With absolutely nothing else going on the world, fans are utterly transfixed by the race for the Putin Ally to pass the Trump Ally.
“Either way, it’s just good for hockey,” said Todd. “It’s just too bad we couldn’t have a close personal friend of Kim Jung Un or Bashar Al-Assad also competing for the record.”
With every game, the Putin Lover gets closer to passing the Trump Lover’s record.
“I’m literally on the edge of my couch cushion,” said Todd. “There is absolutely nothing I care more about right now than the smile on that tyrannical despot’s face when his best buddy breaks the record.”
(photo credit: All-Pro Reels/CC)