ALTONA, MB
A recent study showed that Friesen was the most common surname in Manitoba, beating out such favourites as Wiebe, Klassen, and even Smith. The study came as no surprise for local meteorologists who have always suspected Friesens were to blame for Manitoba’s harsh winter climate.
“I gotta say, I’m not surprised,” said weatherman Dave Friesen. “Whenever anyone comes to this province they say it’s completely Friesen.”
While the province may not be completely Friesen, it’s more Friesen than most, and that has some locals hatching a plan to warm things up around here.
“Manitoba can’t be Friesen anymore,” said Mrs. Funk. “We’ve got only two possible solutions: make more Funks or kick the Friesens out.”
To address the problem, the province has created a new campaign to Make Manitoba Funk Again. In the meantime, Friesens will be asked to move to another province, although it’s not sure who will take them.
“I know my cousins in BC don’t want to be any more Friesen,” said Friesen. “They complain about being too Friesen every time they come out here to visit.”
In order to mark things fair on the rest of country, the Friesen Manitobans have been asked to distribute themselves evenly across the nation, that way no one area sees a huge drop in temperature.
(photo credit: Rob Lee/CC)
