KITCHENER, ON
Area man Dave Eby, 43, has just stumbled on an amazing new plan to avoid paying rent in the exorbitant southern Ontario housing market.
“It all started in the church lobby with Mr. Martin,” said Eby. “I just posed a particularly irksome question about the pastor’s sermon that Sunday … and I’ve been doing that every Sunday for the past few months.”
Eby has been needling and needling Mr. Martin for several months, to the point where Mr. Martin just can’t get Mr. Eby off his mind.
“He’s losing sleep trying to figure out how to win me over to his pre-trib rapture position,” said Eby, “but I’m not going to budge. I want to live rent free in that man’s head as long as I can.”
Eby has already hired a U-haul to move all his stuff into Mr. Martin’s head this weekend.
“I got a couple of the Miller boys to help me move the Chesterfield,” said Eby. “But, hey, at these prices I can afford to pay a little bit of cash to the movers.”
Eby has already scheduled a meeting with Premier Doug Ford in hope of spreading the news about his new ‘rent free’ scheme.
