OMAHA, NE
Anthropologists were shocked to discover a complete lack of gentlemen at a so-called “gentlemen’s” club in an industrial park in Omaha this week.
“Maybe it was just an off night,” said investigator Anne Peters, “but all I saw were drunken middle-age lechers. Not a single gentleman in the place.”
Peters wondered if he problem was it was too dark in there and maybe she missed noting the presence of a few gentlemen.
“So I investigated a little further,” said Peters. “Yeah, I was wrong. Whatever you do, don’t go into the dark shadowy corners in a place like this.”
Eventually Peters concluded that perhaps the problem was this establishment’s choice of entertainment.
“You’re not going to attract gentlemen with a stage show like that,” said Peters. “Seems like all we’ve got in here are in cognito church elders.”
Peters says she won’t be providing the elders’ names but says you can probably figure it out by the men she refuses to shake hands with in the foyer on Sunday morning.
(photo credit: Sunny Ripert/CC)