WINNIPEG, MB
A massive granola shortage this spring has residents of the Winnipeg neighbourhood of Wolseley in quite the panic. Desperate residents met at an area United church to discuss the shortage.
“Went to the corner store looking for granola and there was none to be found,” said Wolseley resident Brenda. “No muesli, no Quaker oats, nothing! I had to settle for puffed wheat. Ugh!”
According to reliable sources, granola has been a staple of Wolseley diets for centuries, so the shortage is creating tension in the otherwise harmonious community.
“We’re mostly peace-loving people around here, but when word got out that Mr. Loewen had snagged the last box of Red River Cereal, more than fifty people showed up on his doorstep demanding a taste.”
It’s not known how Wolseleyites will make it through this shortage, but community leaders have imposed a granola ration until supplies get back to normal.